Covert Affair
by DestianaCaldin
Summary: He's one of the best spies out there and she is his next target. He needs access to some secret information and she has the key. More precisely, she is the key. What could possibly go wrong? Snowbarry Spy AU without superpowers.
1. New Identity

_**A/N: Hey Snowbarries ! Look who's back with a new AU Snowbarry story ?!** _

_**Okay, so this is probably a bad idea, because I'm in the middle of my exam period, but this idea couldn't get out of my head. I got it while going through the Percy Jackson fandom (seriously, these guys have the most AU stories/ideas I've ever seen) and I thought that it could very well fit for our favourite Scientists. So here you go, a Spy AU :) Hope you like it and tell me what you think about it ;)**_

 ** _I don't own anything :)_**

* * *

 _'Keep running you almost got him…'_

He turned around the block and immediately spotted his target taking the next turn. The streets were now busy so he had to jump between people, trying to avoid hurting anyone in the process, to keep up with his target. He put is gun back in its place, its barrel under his jeans against his back, his shirt and jacket covering it and he tried to run faster. It was in time like these that Barry wished he had some kind of superpower – like super speed, that would be nice. Because right now his legs were beginning to tire, his lungs were burning, his heart was beating harder and harder, his feet were making more noise at each stride and he didn't seem to get any closer to his target.

' _Suck it up and deal with it'_ he thought to himself. Gathering what was left of his energy, Barry launched himself forward. He was trained for this – he could do it. But seriously, he didn't know how it was possible that his target had still so much stamina and that his pace didn't lessen. They had been running for what felt like hours and Barry didn't seem to get any closer. And it was very frustrating because he could feel his energy burning down. But he had a job to do and he couldn't give up.

"Barry!"

He almost missed a step at the shrilling sound in his right ear. Damn, he had forgotten about his earpiece.

"I can't really talk right now." He huffed in response in the lapel of his jacket. "Except if you have a way to help me catch this guy!"

"Stop running." The order didn't leave much room for any debate. But Barry kept running anyway.

"No, I almost got him, I'm not going to give up now." He scolded back. This conversation was distracting him from his goal; he was going to lose some precious time. And his target.

"Barry, stop right now. We've got someone closer to him to take over."

"What?" Barry almost shouted – making people around him glance curiously in his direction. But thanks to the 21st Century and its technologies, they didn't seem to care much about an agitated guy talking alone in the street. "No, this is my case!" Barry groaned more quietly but still very firm in his conviction.

"I know, but Oliver wants you back at the HQ. Now stop running, and get your ass over here. He's got a more important case to hand over to you."

Barry stopped on his tracks when he heard the communication being shut down in his earpiece. He was now in the middle of a busy street, bending over with his hands on his knees, trying to gain back his breath. His target was nowhere to be seen. After a few moments, he looked around him and punched angrily the air with his fist.

All of this had been for nothing.

And now Barry had actually no idea where he was or how to get back to HQ.

"Great." He muttered to himself.

* * *

"You blew my whole game out there." Barry complained as soon as he entered the office. He didn't know how many times he had been here. But he wouldn't be surprised if the number was close to the number of days since he had begun working here, even if it wasn't his office. No, it was his handler's office. Well, handler and IT expert. She had taken him under her wing as soon as he had arrived on the job.

The young woman behind the computer threw him an apologetic look above her glasses. "Sorry, but you know I don't decide that kind of stuff."

Barry shrugged and let himself fall on a chair not far from her desk, lifting his feet on the table. "I know Felicity." He let his hand go through his messy hair while stretching a bit. The shower he had taken as soon as he arrived at the HQ had been invigorating. Barry huffed. "Well, could you tell Mr. Queen that I don't like being taken off my cases before I finish them."

Felicity glanced at him and rolled her eyes without even taking the time to reply.

"So… What's this case Oliver wants me to take?" He finally asked.

"He'll tell you all about it himself." Felicity replied without taking her eyes off her computer screen.

The young man groaned. He wasn't sure he would get any serious answer from her today.

"Take your feet off my wife's desk, Allen!" The deep threatening voice came from behind him. Barry almost jumped up from his chair and sat straighter. He turned around to nod at his boss, standing in the doorway of the office.

Barry Allen had known Oliver Queen for a few years now. But he couldn't help being scared of him, even if he knew he was a sweet human being under his armour. Barry could count on the fingers of one hand the number of times he had seen that side of his boss. One of them had been his marriage to Felicity Smoak. Since that day, Barry considered her as Oliver's calming force.

"So, I heard you had a new case for me?" Barry asked.

Oliver pushed himself away from the doorframe against which he had been leaning and threw a consistent file on the desk in front of the young man. It made a loud "thump" as it landed. "Yes, I want you up to date with everything in this file for tomorrow morning, 8 O'clock."

Barry wide-eyed the big file in front of him. That was going to be a long read, he thought bitterly. Before he could comment on it, Oliver spoke again. "I'm sending you in a new undercover mission. But it's probably going to be longer then what you're used to. I hope you're up for it."

Barry felt his blood boiling in his veins. His boss was trying to rile him up. Of course he was up for it! Barry was one of the youngest special agents in this private investigation firm. He was also one of the bests. But if Oliver was trying to push his buttons, it was because he needed Barry's total focus, which surely meant that this was a serious case.

A very serious one.

* * *

Barry pinched the bridge of his nose as he felt a headache threatening his brain. He lazily rubbed his face and glanced at the clock on his computer.

3 am and he was still at the headquarters, reading his file. He thought his head was about to explode. So many information and he still didn't get what he would have to do. Maybe the team meeting at 8 would clear things up a bit.

What he knew about the case until now, was that some Dr. Wells, owner of the S.T.A.R. laboratories, had had shady behaviours in the past few months and that Starling Investigation – the firm Barry was working for – was fearing some kind of terrorism attack. Or something like that. Anyway, Dr. Wells seemed to be a threat to Central City.

The file contained all sorts of information about every single S.T.A.R. labs' employee, every project they were working on – that they knew about – and every suspicious thing about the whole laboratories. It also contained a whole new life for Barry Allen. His covert identity didn't seem very complex. He would have to pose as a young forensic expert working at CCPD and his back-story didn't really divert from his real one: no parents, love for science, grew up in Central City, graduated at the top of his class…

Fortunately, Barry wouldn't have to actually work as a crime scene investigator – he would just pose as one. Because as much as he loved science and knew a bit about forensics, he didn't think he had the ability to do this work. Thought it would've been on the top of his list of study choices, if he hadn't decided to become a spy.

Barry glanced at the clock again. He should probably go home to get some sleep before the meeting. He leaned back in his chair and the lightning bolt sign, pinned to his wall next to his computer, caught his eyes. His co-workers had given him the small symbol to fit with his nickname: The Flash. He had gained this name because of the speed with which he could close a case and he was pretty proud of it. It was some sort of tradition here, to give someone a nickname. For example, Oliver Queen was called The Arrow, because of his strict and "straight as an arrow" persona.

Barry chuckled alone at his desk and a yawn escaped at the same time. It really was time to get some sleep.

* * *

"So Mr. Allen, did you do your homework?" His boss asked as soon as he entered the conference room.

Barry fidgeted on his chair from lack of sleep and too much caffeine. "Yes sir, but I didn't quite get what you're expecting from me." He replied awkwardly. He hated feeling dumb, like he hadn't been smart enough to read between the lines of his file.

"We want you to infiltrate S.T.A.R. labs to investigate and find some solid and valuable intel so that we can stop Dr. Wells before he does something unforgivable." Oliver replied as he sat on his chair at the head of the table.

Barry rubbed the back of his neck with his left hand. "And how do you expect me to do that? If I understood correctly, these laboratories are very good guarded… and I'm not sure there are any forensic job offer there either."

"And they have a strict 'No Visitors' policy." Felicity added, while typing nervously on her laptop next to Oliver.

Barry glared at her. She wasn't helping his case, at all.

"That's why we want you to get close to the employees there." Oliver continued.

Barry seemed to hesitate for a moment. "Sorry, no disrespect, but I'm not sure they do exceptions for friends. The place is a damn fort."

A small smile appeared on his boss's face. "Exactly. So the plan is to become more than friends with one of them and they might do an exception."

"I'm the one who came up with that idea." Felicity commented as she looked up from her laptop excitedly.

Barry choked on the water he was drinking and a fellow special agent, John Diggle, had to tap on his back so that he wouldn't suffocate. "You want me to… you…" Barry stuttered, not finding the right words. "You want me… to… seduce… one of the employees?" He finally managed.

Well that was new. He had flirted with targets before, sure. But he would have to get really close to this person to gain access to the labs.

"Well seducing is a big word." Felicity noted. "More like getting close enough to be considered as their significant other. Win her affection, hang out with her, date her."

"Sounds like seducing to me." Barry grumbled to himself and heard Diggle chuckle next to him. "I imagine you have chosen the lucky one." He continued louder.

Oliver nodded. "One in particular. She's one of Dr. Wells's closest employees. She has access to almost every files and she's one of his favourites advisors. She's also at the head of her own team."

Barry had read the biography of every employee at S.T.A.R. labs and he was trying to remember who fit to the description. He remembered having been impressed by her resume – a brilliant female scientist almost at the head of a huge laboratory. He just couldn't remember her name.

Oliver spared him the trouble of searching further. "Her name is Dr. Caitlin Snow."


	2. DNA Over Coffee

_**A/N: Saying I was overwhelmed by all your reviews on the first chapter would be an understatement! Thank you all! I'm so glad to recognise so many of your names, to see that you came back to give this story a chance! I'll do my best to not disappoint you :)**_

 _ **Keep in mind that this is AU, so it's hard to stay in character. I do hope I'm not doing too bad in this area :)  
**_

 _ **Anyway, hope you enjoy this chapter! Have a nice weekend everyone :D**_

 _ **I don't own anything ;)**_

* * *

The coffee place was buzzing with people. He wasn't sure he had ever seen so many people at Jitters.

Barry was standing in line, jumping from one foot to the other, energy bubbling inside him and he just couldn't stay put. Today was the first day of his new life. Today he would try to meet his target. Today everything would change. And he could already see her sitting at a table in a corner, reading some paper – she was probably working. According to his file, Dr. Caitlin Snow was a real work-alcoholic.

Barry glanced around him again. He knew half of the people here but he had to pretend not knowing any of them. That was all part of the plan. With the rest of his team, they had decided to crowd Dr. Snow's favourite coffee place with lots of agents undercover, so that Barry would have an excuse to sit at her table. Maybe he would even manage to begin a conversation with her.

It was almost his turn to order when he saw a guy not far from his target. He seemed to hesitate and Barry immediately understood that the man was about to steal his place at Dr. Snow's table.

"Someone distract that guy with the bicycle helmet at my twelve, he's going to steal my place before I can even order my coffee." Barry mumbled discretely in the microphone hidden in his right sleeve.

Not even a second later, he saw Eddie Thawne – one of his co-workers – make his way to the man. "Excuse me sir, but are you the owner of the blue bicycle parked in front of the coffee shop?"

"Hum, yes." He heard the guy reply with surprise. Barry took his order and waited for the coffee, keeping an ear to the exchange. Eddie would handle things.

"Cool! I would have a few questions about it, if you don't mind." The agent continued the conversation, pulling the bicycle-guy away from Dr. Snow's table.

Barry smirked, took his coffee and made his way to the table. As he stood next to her, he cleared his throat to make his presence known. "Hum…" The young doctor looked up in his direction and he almost lost his ability to speak. He wasn't expecting the depth hiding behind her brown eyes. It was breathtaking. Barry cleared his throat again. "Sorry, I wanted to know if the place was free. The whole shop is crowded." He showed her with his free hand.

The young woman nodded after looking around. "Sure. I don't think I ever saw so many people here."

"I know right? There's maybe some celebrity here that I don't know." Barry suggested. "It's not you, is it? Because that would be way too embarrassing." He joked.

Aside from a glance to his face, she didn't even react before going back to her work. Damn, that was off to a great start.

"Once, I told a chemistry joke, there was no reaction." Barry muttered to himself, just loud enough so she could hear him.

He heard a very small and cute snort coming from her direction. He looked up to see a very faint smile drawing itself on her features and Barry's ego inflated. That was good, she didn't seem as closed off as his file had said; he just needed to find her triggers. Apparently nerdy science joke could do the trick.

Barry silently took a seat in front of her and she kept her eyes fixed down on her papers. He glanced at it but couldn't make out what was written on them. He took a sip of coffee and took out some pieces of paper to pretend working too.

He saw her peek curiously at his papers from time to time but he didn't pay much attention – at least he pretended he wasn't. After about ten minutes of silence, Barry began fumbling with his documents and let out a loud sigh that caught the young woman's attention. She arched a brow at him and he replied with an apologetic smile.

"Sorry, this case is just messing with my head." Barry explained, trying to keep her attention without being obvious about it. He put one particular sheet on the table in plain sight.

Now was the critical phase of his plan. In a few seconds, Barry would know if he still had good deductions skills to read a person. He almost high-fived himself when he saw the young woman take his bait. She looked more intently at the sheet he had put in evidence. "Are these DNA analyses?" She asked curiously.

It took everything in him not to smirk in her direction. It was time to display his acting skills. His eyes flew up distractedly to meet hers and raised an eyebrow. "Oh that? Yes. But they are giving me a hard time." Barry replied faking his annoyance.

"Why is that?" She asked, sitting straighter on her chair.

That was it, thought Barry; he had her full attention now. He had been counting on her being a scientist that she would be one of the curious-kind. Just by putting the analysis in display, he had tickled her brain and she now wanted to know more.

Barry hid his smile behind a pained frown. "I'm used to simple DNA analyses. This one is way too complex for me. I would need an expert to read them… Like a geneticist or something."

He was genuinely surprised when he heard her choke on her sip of coffee. "Are you alright?" He asked worriedly, handing her a napkin so that she could wipe her chin.

"I'm okay, thanks." Caitlin croaked, trying to get her bearings back.

She still seemed a bit dazed so Barry continued as if nothing had happened. "So yeah, I won't get far with these." He showed the analysis with his hand.

"I can help you." The young woman cut him off – a determined look in her eyes replacing the surprised one – the crumpled napkin in her fist.

"You can?" Barry faked his best surprised-face.

Caitlin smiled in response and extended her hand to the sheet of paper. "May I?"

Barry nodded wordlessly and observed her as she began studying the analyses. He could almost see the wheels turning in her head as her eyes flew above the sheet, her lips slightly moving as if she was talking to herself, her finger tracing the words and figures, her brows frowning from time to time as if something was resisting her brilliant mind. Finally, she put the sheet back down on the table and moved it towards him so that he could see what she would show him. The crease between her eyebrows was gone.

"See there?" she pointed to a certain pattern. "It's a distinct mutation we can find in some genetic diseases. It's not a very common one, so that's why you probably didn't spot it, but I wrote part of my thesis on that."

' _Oh, what a coincidence.'_ Thought Barry sarcastically in his head. Of course it wasn't. His team had done a very thorough job on this case, getting all the relevant information that could become handy.

"The person you're looking for…" The young doctor continued, oblivious to Barry's inner thoughts. "Well I guess it's someone you're looking for…" Barry nodded in response before she finished her explanation. "Well he has this disease."

"He?" Barry asked without thinking further.

Caitlin eyed him curiously, like some doubt was creeping up in her brain. "Well… Yes… the karyotype in your file shows a Y chromosome… You knew about that right?"

' _Damn, she's about to catch me_. _Focus Barry.'_

"Oh yes yes… how distracted of me." He tried to explain.

The woman shrugged, took back the sheet and scribbled something on it before giving it back to him. He wouldn't have been able to pronounce the name of the disease even if his life had been depending on it. It wasn't important anyway – all of this was faked.

"Look it up, you'll be able to find everything you need to know about it." She suggested to him. "Also, it is a notifiable disease, so your guy would have to report being sick to the authorities. So from there, it shouldn't be hard to find him."

"Wow." He looked up and gave her his most dazzling smile – or so he thought. "Well I owe you one. Let me buy you another coffee as a thank you."

The smile must've worked, if the blush creeping up her neck, the nibbling of her lower lip and the shy nod she gave him were anything to go by. He stood up to take their second orders and soon came back with two hot cups of coffee.

"I'm Allen, by the way, Barry Allen." He said while handing her one of the cups.

"Well, you are quite the spy, Mr. Allen." She replied with a smirk.

Barry gasped, almost dropping his coffee on the table and looked bewildered at her. "Wh… whaat?" he squealed, suddenly not feeling confident at all. How had she already uncovered his secret identity? That had never happened to him before.

Caitlin glanced at him with knit brows. It was her turn to hand him a napkin. "That was an attempt at a joke, I think…" She said shyly. "Because of the James Bond thing you just did?" From the lack of reply from a stunned Barry, she continued, trying to chase away some of the awkwardness with a hand movement. "Anyway, I'm Dr. Caitlin Snow."

That brought him out of his lethargy. She was giving him an open door to a conversation right there. He could've said _'Cute, funny and intelligent'_ but somehow he felt she wasn't the kind of girl who would appreciate such a comment right away. So he decided to go more neutral with "What is it that you do, to wear such a nice title?" He realised he had to flirt with her brain before flirting with her looks.

Barry saw her relax immediately and they began talking over their second cup of coffee. Barry could see that she was a guarded person. She answered every question as simply as possible, trying not to give him any insight about her private life. They talked mainly about science, which pleased Barry a lot.

He had always had a passion for science but his line of work didn't always allow him to really talk about it. So he was surprise to feel the breath of fresh air this conversation was giving him. He found himself genuinely wanting to know more about the young doctor. So he tried to deviate the conversation towards every day life and she seemed to open up a bit. Caitlin told him about her job at S.T.A.R. labs, about living in Central City for the past 5 years, about her love for reading… But it didn't go deeper than that.

Barry tried to encourage her by talking about his own life. He tried not to go deeper in details either – afraid to say something he wasn't allowed to. So he joked around a bit and she seemed to enjoy listening to him way more than talking about herself, which was a big ego boost for the young man. Every time he managed to coax a tiny smile out of her, he could feel himself getting prouder. He didn't know what it was, but something about her smile made the whole room seem brighter.

The moment came where Caitlin glanced down at her watch and almost jumped up from her chair. "Shoot!" she muttered to herself. They had been talking for about one hour and a half. She gathered her things and threw an apologetic smile in Barry's direction. "Sorry, but I didn't know it was so late, I have to go." He stood up too as she put her bag on her shoulder and put her chair back in place. "Thank you for the coffee."

Barry waved her thanks with his hands as if to said 'no worries'. "I should be the one thanking you for your help. You kind of saved my butt here." He pointed to the DNA Analysis still lying on the table.

Caitlin blushed at the comment and looked away for a second. Barry felt his heartbeat pick up at the sight; he couldn't help thinking that she looked very cute. He shook the thought away from his head. He had to focus, he had a job to do and he couldn't let her go without having a way to see her again.

"I had a great time." He fumbled one hand awkwardly in his pocket for a few seconds and took out a small card to give her. "Here is my card, if you ever want to grab a coffee… or… You know… chat about science and DNA… or something like that… Just give me a call."

He saw a shadow cross her face as she eyed the CCPD card and Barry wondered if it had been the right move. He couldn't mess this up, he had a mission – get close to her, get in S.T.A.R. labs, get the intel and disappear. If she didn't take this card, he would have a hard time seeing her again without blowing up his cover.

She cautiously grabbed the card. "I'll think about it." Caitlin said before scurrying away waving good-bye.

Barry let his shoulders fall down and rubbed a hand against the back of his neck to chase away some of the tension that had been piling up there for the past hour.

Something was telling him that this wouldn't be an easy-to-close case.

 _Well, who didn't like a good challenge?_


	3. Collision

**_A/N: Hey guys! Thank you all for the reviews and support! For those of you who are afraid I won't continue this story, there's nothing that I hate more than an unfinished story. I've got the whole storyline written down for this one, so don't worry, I'll continue writing it, and I'll finish it ;) And I'll try to do one update every weekend !_**

 ** _Also, English is still not my first nor second language, so I apologise for any mistakes :)_**

 ** _Anyway, enough with the talking, enjoy this chapter and tell me what you thought about it ;)_**

 ** _I don't own anything ;)_**

* * *

"I'm telling you, she's never going to call… or text!"

Felicity took her glasses off to pinch the bridge of her nose before putting them back on to glanced at an agitated Barry. He was pacing nervously back and forth in her office – had been doing it for the past 10 minutes – it was kind of getting on her nerves now.

"That's probably because you're bad at flirting." Felicity teased, trying to ease up the tension in his shoulder with a joke. The glare he threw in her way told her that he didn't appreciate it.

It had been a week since Barry had met with his target and he still hadn't heard back from her. She knew him well enough to know that he was nervous about not getting his job done. "Relax, give her some time."

"We don't really have time. Oliver is busting my ass so that I work faster." Barry threw his hand in the air in despair. "And I can feel it. She's too guarded to make the first move. You guys chose the worst target possible. She's closed off, shy and probably stubborn. How do you want me to work with that?!" He stopped dead on his tracks as an idea formed itself in his mind. Felicity could almost see the light bulb lightning up above is head. He turned towards her with a hopeful look on his face. "You can track her down, right? I can go and 'accidently' bump into her." He said, making the air-quote-sign with his hands.

"I guess so… But try not to be too obvious about it." Felicity gave him a stern look above her glasses. "I know you're a trained spy and everything, but sometimes your poker face falls when you do something ridiculous, like bumping into someone."

"Nah, don't worry Smoak, I'm the best here." He replied with some pride and a wink. "I just need to show Oliver that I'm doing at least some progress in the case."

Felicity shook her head – this was going to be interesting to watch.

* * *

"Okay, she's in the alley right behind you. Go in position!"

Barry positioned himself at the end of his alley and looked the other way, following the orders he was getting from Felicity in his earpiece. If anyone were to take a look at him, they would frown at his weird behaviour, standing stiffly at the end of a supermarket alley, staring straight ahead of him.

"Good, now walk backwards."

"What?!" Barry muttered through his grit teeth in his sleeve-microphone.

"You wanted to bump into her right? Now go backwards!" She hissed in his ear making him wince.

He rolled his eyes and followed his instructions.

"Collision in 5... 4... 3..."

"Damn it!" was the first thing that came out of his mouth as he felt a body crash against his. With a genuine surprised look on his face, Barry turned around to face a dishevelled Caitlin Snow. "I'm so sorry, I wasn't looking where I was... Dr. Snow?!"

She was wearing a mortified look accompanied with some surprise on her face. "Mr. Allen! What are you doing here?" Her voice was a bit strained.

Barry straightened his shirt and picked up the few things he had dropped because of the collision. On purpose, Felicity had begun the countdown too late, so that his reaction would be honest and believable. He would have to thank her later. Barry shook his head as he stood back up. "Well same thing as you apparently, doing some groceries."

"You shop here too?" Caitlin asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Yep, I live right around the block." This was a total lie. He lived almost at the other side of the city. Starling Investigation had suggested giving him a brand new apartment not far from hers, in case he ever needed to bring her home. But he had respectfully declined – they weren't even close to that stage. Until then, he would just pretend living in the same neighbourhood as her. Like he was pretending everything else.

Caitlin nervously bit her bottom lip and Barry had to force himself not to stare at it. He slightly shook his head and looked back up at her eyes, which were completely avoiding him. He felt his heartbeat pick up the pace. That wasn't good, she was absolutely not attracted to him; she couldn't even look him in the eyes. How was he supposed to seduce her? Maybe it was better to get an agent more talented in flirting to do this job. ' _A better-looking-guy too'_ he thought bitterly.

He felt a pinch in his heart. Barry had never doubted himself as much as he was now. He had been doing this job for a few years now and he had acquired a lot of skills that had turned him into quite a confident young man. He knew his capacities and he trusted them. Though, right now, Barry didn't seem to remember it.

He took a deep breath. "Listen, I'm sorry about the bumpy… thingy… thing… and if I'm making you uncomfortable… I'm not stalking you or anything… Why would I? Hmm… not that you're not worth it, no! You're totally worth stalking…" Barry let out a loud sigh. He really wanted to bang his head against the cornflakes stall right next to him right now. "Nope that's not what I wanted to say! Okay, I'm going to stop talking now!" He rambled awkwardly looking away. Damn, he hadn't felt like this since his high school years and his nerd phase. Sure deep down he was still a big nerd, but working as a spy had boosted up his self-confidence. His rambling monologues had amazingly decreased over the years.

And here he was, in a supermarket with oranges and toilet paper in his arms, talking to a very good-looking doctor and suddenly he was relapsing. It was really not the time he thought. On top of that, he could hear Felicity face palming herself in despair in his earpiece.

A small chuckle caught back his attention and he looked up at Caitlin's beaming face. "That was quite a speech, Mr. Allen." She teased.

"Sorry." He mumbled sheepishly. He tried one last thing before giving up. "I would offer you to buy you a coffee to apologise, if I didn't think my rambling would chase you away."

Caitlin didn't think she had ever smiled that much in a supermarket. ' _Well not since Ronnie._ ' She shrugged away the chill that was running up her spine and observed the young man in front of her. She had absolutely no reason to accept his invitation. But somehow she felt pulled towards him. "Sure, why not? Let me just finish my groceries and we can meet up at jitters. Is that okay with you?" She replied shyly.

The wide smile he gave her made all of her worries fly away.

And that's how they got coffee together for the second time in their life. And after spending about two hours at Jitters, they decided to go get ice cream. They savoured it while strolling around the city, ending near the water, talking a bit about themselves, finding the things they had in common… The subjects were pretty light hearted and they spent a really good time together.

"So what about your family? Do you have brothers and sisters?" Barry asked her, leaning forward with his elbows on a railing, contemplating the water flowing its course to the sea.

Caitlin stood next to him, leaning backwards against the same railing, looking towards the city while catching a drop of melting ice cream running down the cone. She nodded. "I have one older brother. He has a PhD in English Literature and currently juggles between teaching at the Coast City University and his research."

Barry glanced at her and was momentarily distracted by the way the sun was currently reflecting itself in her hair. When he didn't reply immediately, she turned her head slightly towards him and eyed him curiously. Barry caught himself and cleared his throat. "Nice" was the only intelligent thing he found to reply.

Caitlin let out a small chuckle and looked back towards the Central City buildings cutting through the blue skyline. "And my parents live in a small city 1 hour-drive away from here. We have a family dinner every first Friday of the month, so we see each other quite often."

"That's nice." Barry replied before realising it was the second time he said ' _nice_ ' in 5 minutes. He had to get a hold of himself. He wouldn't gain her trust with mono or disyllabic replies.

Caitlin seemed oblivious to his inner turmoil. "What about you?" She finally asked.

Barry's smile dropped immediately. He should've seen the question coming. After all, he had been the one initiating the family subject – he was the only one to blame for his own discomfort. He rubbed his neck with his left hand and took a bite of his ice cream cone to buy himself some time. He had two options here. Either he would tell her the truth, or he would tell her what was written in his fake identity file – the latter being a simplified version of the truth.

Caitlin seemed to realise she had hit on a nerve and she turned around completely, leaning forward on the railing, facing now the water. She slightly bumped against his shoulder. "Hey, it's okay if you don't want to talk about it." She whispered.

He glanced up and met her deep brown eyes, the ones that had caught his breath the first time he had seen them, the ones that kept challenging him, the one reflecting perfectly her intelligence. The spy inside of him rapidly saw an opportunity in this moment. Telling her the truth about his family would get him closer to gaining her trust.

Barry cleared his throat after swallowing the piece of cone he had been chewing on. "I spent the majority of my childhood and teenage years living with my best friend and her dad." He tore his eyes away from her and faced the water. "My parents died when I was just a kid." He heard Caitlin catch her breath. "One day, I came back from school and found my house surrounded by cops. 'Burglary gone wrong' was their explanation for my parents' death." Barry shook his head and threw the end of his cone in the water, having lost the appetite to finish it. Maybe a fish would prefer it, he thought bitterly. Caitlin stayed silent, waiting for him to continue. "I believed them at first, but as I grew older, I couldn't help thinking there was something fishy about the whole story."

Caitlin frowned. "How is that?" She carefully inquired.

He turned his face to hers and stared at her. "Nothing was stolen." He breathed out.

Caitlin felt a shiver running down her spine, and not the good, enjoyable kind of shiver – no – the creepy kind. Barry seemed to spot it and shook his head, giving her an apologetic smile. "Sorry, I completely ruined the mood right now."

Caitlin shrugged the chill away and a bittersweet smile appeared on her features. "Don't apologise. I know how it feels to loose someone important without being able to say good bye, without closure."

Barry raised a questioning eyebrow. He perfectly knew what was coming – he had thoroughly read her file – but her telling him what she was about to tell him meant that he was getting closer – he could see a door appearing in her protection walls.

"My fiancé, Ronnie, died in a car accident almost a year ago… A drunk driver collided with his car… Ronnie didn't have a chance and the other driver came out of the crash unscathed." She paused, avoiding his eyes at all costs.

Barry saw her worrying her lower lip while tears seemed to gather at the corner of her eyes. He felt his stomach drop at the sight. He realised the last thing he wanted was for her to suffer. And all he wanted to do was to give her comfort.

"Can I… Can I hug you?" He whispered cautiously.

Her teary eyes contemplated his face for a short moment before she agitatedly nodded her head, letting a small sob escape her lips. A second later, she was engulfed into two strong arms. She gripped his shirt at the back as if it was a lifeline she had to hold on to and she buried her face at the crook of his neck. "I didn't… I didn't get the chance… to tell him… how much he really meant to me." Caitlin sobbed silently against his skin.

Barry cradled her softly in his arms. "Hey, you were engaged. I think he probably already knew."

Caitlin nodded her thanks and they stayed in silence for a moment, not quite ready to let each other go. Barry was amazed at how easy he had managed to confide himself to her. And how easily she had replied.

When they finally pulled apart, her tears had dried off and a faint smile was back on her lips. Barry decided to change completely the subject of their conversation. He told her about some mischief he had accomplished during his high school years as they made their ways back to the city centre and Caitlin soon gained back a full smile.

Caitlin didn't really know why she had told the Ronnie-story to an almost complete stranger. Hell, she had even hugged him! But she knew that she felt safe with him and they seemed to find their common pain as another link to bind them. And as they went their separate ways after their long walk, she promised herself that she would call him to meet again.

For Barry, this walk, that had lasted a lot more than a few hours, had given him a boost of confidence. He was a very talented spy and with the adapted methods he would be able to take down her walls of protection. But it had also made him realise how special that young woman was. He had been genuinely interested by everything they had talked about, he wanted to know more about her and he absolutely couldn't wait to see her again – for the case, of course. It had absolutely nothing to do with the way his heart was beating just a little bit faster just at the thought of it.

* * *

 _ **A/N: Yes, indulge me, I took the liberty to give Caitlin a brother, she deserves it (because she suffers too much on the show :( )**_

 _ **Sending you all lots of Snowbarry love ! 3**_


	4. As Time Flows By

**_A/N: Thank you everyone for the support, hope you like this chapter! Here we have a small insight in what's going on in Caitlin's head :)_**

 ** _I don't own anything ;)_**

* * *

Caitlin rubbed her eyes for what felt like the thousandth time in the past hour. She was currently observing a tissue sample in her microscope, but every time she would put her eyes against the eyepiece, her mind would drift away and her sight would blur. Somehow, she couldn't manage to concentration decently today. It didn't help that she had a tone of work to do and zero motivation.

Was it weird that, every time she would look at the green fluorescence from her sample, she would think of two particular green eyes?

' _Yes that's totally messed up'_ she thought to herself, rolling her eyes.

But she couldn't help it. Caitlin had been spending so much time with Barry in the past few weeks that he was almost constantly on her mind. She was switching her microscope off, deciding to work on something else, when she felt the vibration of her phone in her lab coat pocket. She shook her head in amusement as she took her gloves off. Without even looking at her phone, she already knew who had sent her a text.

After throwing her used gloves away, she picked up her phone and read the text from Barry that was waiting for her.

' _You and me. Tonight. 8 O'clock. Central Movie Theater. You don't have a say in this, I already bought the tickets ;)'_

Caitlin let out a small giggle and had to put her hand on her mouth to stop the high sound to expand itself. He always seemed to lift up her mood when she was having a bad day, even without being in the same room as her.

She quickly tipped in her reply: _'I'll be there! ;)'_

To be honest, she had had a say in this, they had talked about going to see the adaptation of one of her favourite books for a while now. She would just let him think he had the power this time because he had taken things in his own hands. She couldn't help the goofy smile plastered on her face right now. Things had been going really great. She sometimes felt guilty to feel _this_ good because of a guy, she couldn't help feeling like she was cheating on Ronnie.

She perfectly knew it was ridiculous, and that it would go away with time. But the feeling was still there. And Caitlin was also afraid to dive in, head first, in something that would put her heart on the line. Though it was probably already too late for that.

"Soo Caitlin…" A teasing feminine voice behind her brought her out of her daydreaming. "Who's the hot guy you've been dating lately?"

Caitlin's smile immediately disappeared from her face. She had been tense all day long, stressed out from too much work, and Barry's text had managed to coax a small moment of joy for her. The last thing she needed was Lisa Snart getting on her nerves. Caitlin put her phone back in her pocket, took a deep breath and turned around to look at her co-worker.

"I'm not dating anyone, and it's none of your business anyway." Caitlin replied coldly.

Lisa Snart was also an engineer at S.T.A.R. labs and probably one of the persons she could bear the least. Caitlin felt like the only job she was good at, was pissing her off. She sometimes wondered if she hadn't stolen her engineer degree or something.

"Tsk tsk tsk, don't lie to me Caitlin, I saw you with that hot dark haired guy the other day." Lisa's snaky voice made the hair at the back of her neck stand up.

She was probably referring to Barry picking her up after work. It had become kind of a routine, every few days, he would pick her up and they would go somewhere together. They didn't do anything fancy, but Caitlin liked how normal it felt, not having to go back to her empty apartment right after work, just spending time with him.

"It's Dr. Snow to you, Snart." Caitlin hissed through grit teeth.

Lisa flinched slightly at the injunction. Caitlin was the person in charge in this part of the lab. And though she wasn't the kind of person to abuse of her power, it felt good to put the other woman back in her place once in a while.

"What's going on here?"

Caitlin turned around and greeted Cisco that had just entered the room. He was wearing a cheeky grin while chewing on a red vine. The young man's presence seemed to bring Lisa some self-confidence. "I was just giving _Dr. Snow_ some dating advices." She explained, putting the emphasis on the doctor title, clearly mocking her.

Cisco's whole face lighted up. "Oh so it's finally official? You're dating the guy?"

Caitlin rolled her eyes annoyingly at her best friend. "His name is Barry, and no, we're not dating."

"But I thought he was interested!" He remarked, raising his eyebrows.

"He is." Caitlin retorted with a voice she wanted to sound as detached as possible. Let's just say she wasn't very good at pretending. "Well at least I think he is…"

"Then what are you waiting for?" Lisa snorted behind her. "It's not like you've got a lot of pretenders at your feet."

Caitlin's hands clenched near her waist and she threw Cisco a fiery look, silently asking him to take care of her. He nodded, swallowing his candy and grabbed Lisa by the arm, leading her further away from Caitlin to avoid any fistfight. Caitlin could be quite threatening when she was mad.

"I don't think angering Caitlin right now is a good idea." He warned her.

"I'm doing this for her own good." Lisa chuckled. "If she doesn't make a move on the hot guy, some other woman might perfectly steal her place."

Caitlin tried to ignore the comment, switching her microscope back on. She really had to get some work done, but concentration seemed to avoid her like the plague. Her mind seemed to find her colleagues' conversation way more interesting and she had the bad feeling that Lisa's statement held some truth. She hadn't really given Barry any sign that she liked him for something more than friendship and she was also afraid to admit it. But it was obvious that she had to clear up what her relation with Barry was.

"Listen." Cisco's voice was firm, warning Lisa. "Drop the relationship-advices subject."

The other woman frowned at his stern voice. "Are you still mad at me for the other day, Cisco?" Lisa chimed. "I really did enjoy kissing you."

Suddenly, Caitlin turned around and looked appalled at Cisco. "You kissed her?!"

"I can't deal with this right now." Cisco threw her way, before ignoring her again. "Come on, let's talk somewhere else." He grabbed Lisa's arm and they walked out of Caitlin's lab, leaving her deep in her thoughts.

Even if Caitlin was curious about it, the relationship between Cisco and Lisa was the least of her problems right now. She had a decision to make. Well, she was pretty sure she had already made the decision – she didn't really like it though.

* * *

They had seen each other more and more over the weeks, and Barry could feel that he was getting closer to her opening up to him. It wasn't easy, but he was patient. Starling Investigations had other agents on surveillance over S.T.A.R. labs and no suspect activities had been spotted. So Barry could take his time to get closer to the young doctor. As long as he was making progress, according to Oliver, everything would be okay.

He had tried a few times to ask about what projects she was currently working on, but she had always been very vague in her replies, telling him she wasn't really allowed to talk about it. He had stopped asking about it when she had once asked him "Why does that interest you so much?" Barry had replied with a cheesy excuse like "I'm interested in you and you're interested in your job so that means I'm interested in what you do." So Caitlin had dropped it with a roll of her eyes.

What he hadn't counted on was the feelings he began to develop. He grew quite fond of spending time with her. He absolutely loved the passionate look that would appear on her face every time they talked about some scientific stuff, how her eyes would light up as if her brain was shining through her eyes. And Barry's personal challenge was to coax as many smiles from her as possible, because it always seemed to brighten the air around them.

"Aw come on, it wasn't _that_ bad…"

"Of course you would say that, you haven't read the books!"

It was Friday evening and they had just gotten out of the movie theatre.

"Yes, so from a cinematographic point of view, the movie was pretty okay."

Caitlin bit her lower lip nervously. "I guess." She finally admitted, but before Barry could celebrate his victory, she continued with the passionate voice she always used when talking about something she cared about. "But the storyline was completely different than the one from the books. And that's inadmissible. They just kept the names of the characters! Other than that, nothing fits!"

Barry tried to keep in the laugh that was threatening to burst out of him. He failed miserably. "Oh come on Cait, it's just a movie." He said when she threw him a death glare. She didn't even seem to notice him using her nickname. He had picked up the habit of calling her 'Cait' around their fifth meeting and she had never seemed to mind, though a slight blush on her cheek would always appear right after him saying it. But not this time.

She just continued walking straight forward with a pout on her face, not paying any more attention to him. He chuckled lightly at her stubborn behaviour and caught up with her, walking at her speed. They stayed like this for a few minutes until Barry threw one arm around her shoulder and squeezed her against him. "Don't be like that snowy."

That nickname earned him a jab in the ribs but also a small laughter from her. He let her go with a proud smile and a comfortable silence settled in between them. Until Caitlin finally broke it. "Listen Barry, we need to talk." She said seriously, going to sit on a bench. Barry frowned, the smile falling down, and followed her. That was usually the break-up sentence. Except they weren't actually dating.

"What is it?" He inquired.

He saw her shoulder tense up, her back straightened and her lower lip caged up between her teeth. Her eyes were fixed on her hands, her fingers playing with the space on her ring finger where, he guessed, her engagement ring used to be. Finally, Caitlin took a deep breath and spoke. "I don't know what this…" she showed the space between them with one hand. "… is. But I don't want you to get your hopes up."

The light-hearted feeling he had been wearing on his sleeves the whole evening suddenly left him bare, crashing down on the floor. Barry felt like the ground under him was giving away and that an abyss would soon swallow him.

"I told you about Ronnie and how it broke me when he died." She continued, apparently oblivious to the thunder happening in his head. "It took me time to get to the good place I'm at right now… Hell, until a few months ago I was still wearing my engagement ring…" She let out a shaky breath. "The point being that I don't think I'm ready to jump into a new relationship yet." She paused for a moment. "It is what you want, right?" Caitlin's inquiring eyes flew up to meet his.

Barry swallowed hard and just nodded. It wasn't like he had been hiding his intentions from her. He had been very clear that he wanted something more than friendship.

"That's what I was thinking." She mumbled more to herself than to him. "But I'm not ready and I don't want you to wait for me, because I don't know how long it's going to take." Her voice cracked a bit at the end of her sentence. "I can't expect you to wait…"

A crease appeared between Barry's eyebrows. So she was worried about him waiting. She wasn't telling him she wasn't interested. She was telling him she needed time. And Barry could deal with that; he would deal with Oliver & Co later. He felt his lungs being freed from the sudden anxiety that had taken over him and he finally could breath normally again.

"Listen, Cait…" He felt her shiver next to him, the slight blush on her cheek was present this time. "I like you… A lot… And there's absolutely no pressure, I can wait."

"No…" She shook her head. "I can't ask you to wait, that isn't fair."

"Caitlin, you're not asking me. I'm telling you. I'm waiting." Barry stated matter-of-factly, not leaving much place to argue. She glanced up in his direction and he saw her shoulders drop in relief while letting out a nervous chuckle.

"Are you sure?" Caitlin asked cautiously, not wanting to be the one to get her hopes up.

Barry didn't know if he had ever been so sure and so unsure about something at the same time. On one hand he was certain that he could wait for her. Everything about her shouted how amazing and how worth the wait she was. But on the other hand, a feeling was gnawing his stomach, telling him that what he was doing was wrong, that he was deceiving her. And somehow, it felt even worse than what he had expected. She wasn't the average woman looking for a casual boyfriend. She was a young woman who had lost the love of her life and who was trying to move on. With him. He could see the hurt and the pain still swimming in her brown irises. Doing anything to make it worse felt inhuman.

Doing this to her was disgusting him.

 _But that was his job, right?_

"I'm sure." He replied with a firm voice.

The young woman gave him a soft smile, a small twinkle arising in her eyes, before leaning into him, laying her head on his shoulder as he sneaked one arm around her shoulder.

"Thank you." She whispered.

Yes his job was to pretend liking her to get to his goal. No matter the costs.

Except part of him knew he wasn't quite pretending everything. And he already hated himself for what he was doing to her.

* * *

 _ **A/N: Okay, so I needed a female character to get on Caitlin's nerves so who better than Lisa Snart? Anyway, it was just some fun, her role won't be major in this story :)**_

 _ **See ya' ! ;) (there will be more fluff in the next chapter, don't worry!)  
**_


	5. Sliding On Ice

**_A/N: So I actually wanted to update this sooner as I hadn't any Internet access the whole weekend but I somehow couldn't log in on the website... So I'm really sorry for the wait and here is the new chapter! :)_**

 ** _I don't own anything :)_**

* * *

"Come on Barry, it's not that hard, you'll see."

"Easy for you to say, Snow." The young man groaned and heard Caitlin giggle at his behaviour. He was currently bent down, his legs apart and his hands on his knees trying to stay in balance. He was already out of breath, which he found pathetic knowing that they had been here for a total of ten minutes.

"Right, because my last name is Snow, is that it?"

Barry tried to glance up in her direction, but immediately looked back down as he felt one foot making a run for it. He stared at the white floor in front of his eyes and cursed himself for suggesting this activity. It had seemed such a good idea at first, going to the inside ice-skating ring that had just opened in Central City. And Caitlin had looked so excited when he had asked her if she wanted to go there.

But the young man had forgotten _how bad_ he actually was at ice-skating. His feet never seemed to coordinate with his brain, he never knew what to do with his arms and his back was always doing back-and-forth movements that weren't exactly pretty to look at.

Barry took a deep breath, trying to calm his agitated heart. How was it possible that he could chase down criminals without breaking a sweat, but walking on an iced floor seemed like the most terrifying thing in the world? He let out a loud sigh. "Exactly, it has to be in your DNA or something."

Caitlin snorted and shook her head. "Yeah sure, keep telling yourself that, Allen, you're just bad at it and you don't want to admit it."

Barry's whole body shot up at the comment but he immediately lost his balance and fell on his back, his feet flying up with the fall, his head hitting the cold floor accompanied by a gruesome noise. He heard a small shriek soon followed by a worried Caitlin kneeling next to him. "You okay, Barry?"

"I'm fine." He grunted his reply.

Caitlin ignored him and grabbed his head between her hands to check its back. After seeing the lack of blood, she laid him back down, putting one finger in front of his eyes. "Follow my finger." She ordered as she moved it from right to left while observing his eyes. After a few seconds, she dropped her hand on his chest and her worried face relaxed. "It doesn't seem like you've got a concussion, you're good to go."

Barry chuckled as he raised himself to a sitting position, Caitlin's hand falling on his lap. "Well no need to go all doctor on me, I told you I was fine. I didn't fall _that_ hard."

Caitlin rolled her eyes and stood up, stretching her hand to him so that he could follow her. "Let's try again." She suggested as soon as he was back up. "Your feet shouldn't be so parallel to each other, because then they just go front and back and you'll lose your whole balance."

"Then what I am supposed to do? Because that's the only position that keeps me on my feet." He complained like a little kid and Caitlin had to smile at that.

"Keeping you on your feet? Like a moment ago?" She snickered.

Once again, she was the aim of his glare. "Very funny, Cait."

Caitlin bit the inside of her cheek to avoid laughing more. "No but seriously, form a small angle with the line of your feet and then push to the outside. Then it'll be easier to slide across the ice."

He doubtfully looked up at her, so she gave him a reassuring smile. "Come on, take my hand and I'll help you."

He carefully grabbed her hand while the other was clutching at the railing. "I'm too young to die." Barry muttered and Caitlin just chuckled. One of the things she really liked about Barry was how he could be really serious and there for her during difficult moments, but he could also turn into an endearing little kid that she just wanted to crush into a hug.

Slowly, she led him forward along the railing, making slow swipes with her feet, showing him how to do it. Barry tried to copy her movement but somehow his feet wouldn't do what he wanted them to. He kept swinging forward and backwards and Caitlin had to hold tight to his arm so that he wouldn't end up back on the ground, taking her with him in the process. 10 minutes later, Barry was panting and grabbing at the railing so hard that they couldn't move further.

"Do you want to take a break?" Caitlin teased and Barry nodded furiously.

"I feel like and awkward penguin who forgot how to slide along the ice." He huffed with a crease between his eyebrows.

"Well, I happen to think that awkward penguins are really cute." A beaming Caitlin moved to stand next to him, her hand slipping away from his. She didn't have time to mourn the loss of contact – his hand was already making its way to her back, bringing her closer for a hug. She took a deep breath, as her lungs felt suddenly too big for her chest, and snuggled her face into the crook of his neck.

"Well this is the worst date idea I ever got." He whispered against her hair.

A nice shade of red crept on Caitlin's cheeks. Ever since their talk, everything had felt so much more real to her. They weren't just friends – they were swinging on the thin line between friends and couple. The physical contact had impressively increased in the last two weeks. They would hold hands in the street, he would sneak an arm around her shoulders, they would hug to greet or to part… And Caitlin felt giddier with each touch.

"I think it's perfect." She murmured back.

Barry's hands moved to her shoulders to pull her slightly away from him, his deep green eyes falling upon hers, and suddenly her heart decided to run a marathon. She saw him swiftly glance down to her lips before going back to her eyes. Her throat dried up under his intense stare and her eyes decided to imitate his.

Caitlin felt torn. She knew Barry wouldn't try anything if she didn't give him the green light – and she really cherished that side of him, always attentive to her wishes. But a part of her couldn't help but want him to at least try to kiss her. Her mind was telling her to pull back, to protect herself from any possibility of getting hurt, while her heart was just telling her to go for it. She knew Ronnie would want her to move on, and she could feel herself getting there. The support of her family and friends had helped her in her grief. She had no idea what would've become of her if they hadn't been there for her.

Caitlin didn't know how long they stayed like that, in each other's arms, gazing in each other's eyes while life was bubbling around them, kids shouting on the ice skating ring, parents sliding behind, warning them to be more careful, everyone being completely oblivious to the two young people on the side.

At some point, out of nowhere, she remembered the conversation she had had with Cisco just the day before. She could still hear his voice telling her _"But how long is he willing to wait before he gets sick of it? Before he thinks you're just leading him on?"_ He had struck a chord there. Something switched inside of her and before she knew it, one of her hand had climbed to his cheek.

"Caitlin?"

Her hand dropped down at the sound of her name on her right and she pushed herself away from Barry. She had to grab his jacket to prevent him from falling – as she saw him sway from the push in the corner of her eye. But her attention was drawn to the tall man standing proudly on his ice skates next to them.

"Jay? What are you doing here?"

"Well apparently the same thing as you, christening this new ice-skating ring."

Caitlin tried to gain back control of the situation, beginning with calming her crazy heartbeat. On Barry's side, things didn't look better either. He was wearing a lost look, not knowing what was happening, what had been _about to happen_. Barry's eyes flew from Caitlin's surprised face to the man's handsome one.

Saying that he didn't like what he saw was an understatement. Jay, as Caitlin had called him, was staring at her in a way Barry didn't appreciate, his eyes roaming her body, not sparing a single glance in his direction. Who was this guy? Couldn't he see they were busy?

Caitlin seemed to remember that Barry was standing right there. "Barry, this is Jay, a colleague from S.T.A.R. labs." The older man finally looked at Barry and nodded, a small smirk appearing on his face as he saw that Barry was firmly clutching at the railing behind him. "Jay, this is Barry… a friend." She said with a slight hesitation that made Barry groan.

But for Caitlin's sake, he decided to replace his sour face with a smiling one. Cautiously, he stretched his hand to greet Jay. But the latter eyed his hand curiously. "Keep your hand, young man, it seems like you need it to stay on your feet."

 _"Oh that was low"_ , Barry thought bitterly as his hand reached safely the railing again. He would've given him a piece of his mind if his legs hadn't been standing on slippery grounds.

Jay snickered, crossing his arms on his chest, pushing his shoulders back to show his muscles off. He faced Caitlin again. "Have you talked to Dr. Wells today?"

The young doctor frowned. "Hum… No, it's Saturday…"

"Good point." Jay chuckled. "Anyway, I'll be working with you next week. He wants me to have my insight on the project." Jay carefully eyed Barry before bringing his full attention back on Caitlin. "You know which one I'm talking about…"

"This is great." Caitlin beamed. "It has been a long time since we really worked together on something."

"I agree."

Barry frowned. Whichever project Jay was talking about, he didn't want him to know about it. Barry looked helplessly at the exchange happening in front of him. He hadn't calculated another guy in his plan. He also hadn't expected the bitter feeling at the pit of his stomach. He didn't want to name it or he would've called it jealousy.

Jay brought him out of his thoughts. "So let me see how good you are on ice skates."

Barry saw Caitlin hesitate for a moment, not sure how to react to Jay's request. But as her colleague began skating away backwards, giving her a head movement telling her to follow him, Caitlin threw a "wait here" to Barry and joined Jay.

Without being able to do anything, Barry saw them sliding side by side as if they had been doing this all their life, swiftly flying on the ice, not the slight hesitance in their movements. Caitlin's behaviour comforted him though, she was keeping her hands strictly to herself while Jay's arms and hands were a bit to close to her for his liking. And Jay seemed way more into their conversation than Caitlin.

 _There were no reasons to worry, right?_

Finally, after having done one round of the ice skating ring, Caitlin immediately stopped next to Barry as they reached him.

"Just one round?" Jay asked disappointedly.

Caitlin bit her lower lip and looked away for a short moment. "I'm sorry Jay, but you see, Barry and I are actually on a date, so…"

Jay threw his head back, as if he had just been hit in the face, his smirk falling with the impact of her words. Barry didn't even feel guilty for being happy about it. To give some more countenance to Caitlin's words, Barry snaked a hand around her shoulders, not showing that he was also using her to keep himself from falling down.

"Yeah, no sweat, I get it." Jay replied with a sour look and slumping shoulders.

"But we'll see each other this week." Caitlin tried to sooth his hurt.

"Right." He nodded towards Barry. "Well if you ever get bored of slippery feet here, you know where to find me." Jay winked at her without even looking at Barry before turning around and leaving them.

Barry groaned and was about to go after him but Caitlin stopped him with a hand on his chest.

"I swear if we were on safer grounds, I would give him a piece of my mind." He grunted through clenched teeth.

Caitlin moved to place herself in front of him, pushing him back against the railing, her hands on the lapel of his jacket. "No need for this, Barry." She said softly. "Jay has been heavily flirting with me ever since he arrived at S.T.A.R. labs. And don't get me wrong, he's an excellent scientist and a really nice one too, but he's not my type."

Barry's anger seemed to disappear. He looked down at her with a raised eyebrow, the right corner of his mouth slightly raised too. "And what is your type, if I may ask?"

"Tall dark-haired, green-eyed, nerdy forensic expert." She whispered, looking him straight in the eyes, her eyebrows bouncing on her forehead.

He gaped at her and she just smiled before pulling him slightly towards her and softly pecking his left cheek. Barry didn't remember the last time he had blushed a deep shade of red, but it was definitely happening this time.

"Now, let's go, you still need to learn how to skate properly." Caitlin tugged at his hand and led him on the ice.

With a heart that felt so light, as if it had been filled with helium, Barry followed her without resistance, his feet suddenly understanding the right movements.

Well almost.


	6. Progress

_**A/N: Again, thank you all for your reviews! It means a lot that you guys are enjoying this and trying to figure out what is happening and what will happen :) Anyway, here is the new chapter, enjoy!**_

 _ **I don't own anything :)**_

* * *

"Barry, you need to work faster!"

"I'm trying, but I can't exactly force her to become my girlfriend!"

"I don't care what you have to do, just do it!"

That comment lighted up a fire inside Barry. "No, I refuse to put any more pressure on her. She's a human being who experienced loss, it takes time to accept someone new into your life!" In other circumstances, Barry would've never thought about yelling at his boss, but this was too much. "Two weeks ago she told me she was thinking about it. I'm close I can feel it!"

Oliver gave him a death glare but decided to drop it. "Deal with it." He said matter-of-factly before leaving the area. Barry let his head fall on his desk with a loud ' _bang'_ and sighed. He was running out of new ideas. He would've never thought that this case would require so much creativity from his part.

He had brought Caitlin to restaurants, to the movies, to the beach, to an inside ice-skating ring, to a science museum… they even had done karaoke, for goodness' sake! And he would have loved every single one of these activities if they hadn't tasted bitter because of his secret motivations. The guilt was getting worse every time he saw Caitlin. He tried to shut it down, but it kept coming back to him. But on the other side, he loved seeing her.

' _Don't fall for your target, don't feel anything for your target, just do your job and get as far as possible.'_ That was the motto they had taught him during his training. Something Oliver had kept repeating to him over the years. It was the only way to survive in this job. Don't get attached, don't become friend, don't fall in love… Or you won't be able to finish the job.

Until now it had always worked perfectly. So what was the problem now?

Barry shook his head and decided it was time to go for a ride, clear his head a little. He was supposed to meet with Caitlin around 6 p.m. so he had about 2 hours to kill. He shut down his computer, grabbed his jacket and helmet before leaving the bullpen.

He made his way to the elevator and got down to the last floor while drumming his fingers on the length of his leg. Maybe a great idea would appear out of nowhere in the next couple of hours, maybe everything would go back to normal at some point. He arrived in the underground parking and soon reached his motorbike. He couldn't wait to hear the machine roar to life again. He had bought the flashy red Ducati as soon as he had had enough money for it. Something about the speed while driving the engine was exhilarating.

Everything would be alright, he had to believe that. With a big smile on his face, he got on the Ducati, put his helmet on, started the engine and flashed away from the building like a red streak.

* * *

Two hours later, Barry sent her a text as soon as he arrived in front of S.T.A.R. labs.

' _I'm here, do you want me to come up and get you?'_ He knew it was a long shot, but he at least had to try.

He put his motorbike on its stand and leaned against it, looking at the doors of the building as he waited for Caitlin. He could see two security guys behind the doors glancing at him from time to time – each one of them had their hands hovering above their guns attached to their hips. They looked like two modern cowboys dressed in black.

Caitlin's reply came quickly after. _'No, it's ok. I'll be down in a minute.'_

Barry shook his head. Well that was no surprise. It would've been easier that way, though. It would've spared him from lying to her – more than he already was. His eyes looked up to scrutinise the whole building and he could see security cameras a bit everywhere. This place really had strong security. They were probably already scanning his face through a recognition program to see who he was and why he was waiting in front of the building. But his co-workers had already made a fake identity for him so the only thing they would find would be a harmless forensic guy living his life. He couldn't help thinking they had something to hide. Otherwise why would they have such security measures? But that was his job right? Figuring out what they were planning.

His thoughts were interrupted as the doors opened and the click of high heels caught his attention. He raised his eyes and the sight almost took his breath away. Caitlin was in her normal work wear, her hair was tied up in a messy bun and her eyes seemed a bit tired from the long day of work, but for some reason she seemed to be glowing tonight. And Barry thought she was even more beautiful like that.

She hastily made her way in his direction, a determined look on her face. Barry pushed himself up to a standing position as she finally reached him. "Do you still mean it?" She asked slightly out of breath, before he could even greet her.

Barry raised an eyebrow in confusion. "Wh… What?" He asked, suddenly losing all his self-confidence.

Caitlin smiled and rolled her eyes before repeating slowly. "Do you still mean it?"

His frown deepened. "What are you talking about?"

He saw a flash of worry strike her face but it disappeared as fast as it had appeared. "What you said the other night… after the movie… two weeks ago… Do you still mean it?" She said calmly.

The surprised look on Barry's face, as it dawned on him what she was referring to, would've been hilarious if she wasn't a bit worried about his actual reply.

"Of course." He finally stated, like it was the most obvious thing in the world. "I still mean every single word. I…" Barry couldn't finish his sentence as Caitlin grabbed his leather jacket by its lapels and she crushed her lips against his. Passed his shock, he took her by the waist and brought her closer to him, replying to her kiss. He felt himself melt against her body, fireworks exploding at the touch of her skin.

She was the one to break it, but he didn't let her get very far, leaning his forehead against hers, breathing the same air as her. "Wow… What was that for?" Barry asked breathlessly.

Caitlin let out a nervous chuckle. "I like you too, Barry." Her voice was raspy and a bit shaky. "And I just want you to know that I'm trying… I'm still not ready, but I'm trying… and I don't want you to get sick of waiting and go away." She was too nervous to look him in the eyes, so she thought her feet would be way more interesting right now.

"Hey." Barry cupped her cheeks and lifted her face so that she could look at him again. His deep green eyes got lost in hers. "I'm not going anywhere." He whispered.

Caitlin let out a breath she hadn't realised she was holding, letting her nervous energy leave her body. She rose on her tiptoes and pressed her lips cautiously against his. He let her decide how she wanted the kiss to go, he let her lead.

So his heart jumped in happiness when she pressed further against him, one hand clutching at his jacket, the other going up to play with his hair at the back of his neck. Barry gripped her waist with more force and teased her lips with his tongue, asking for entrance, which she gave him very eagerly with a moan.

Caitlin didn't know how long they stayed like this, tangled with each other, but it felt way too soon when he pulled back. A giggle escaped her lips when she looked at his goofy smile and messy hair.

"I thought you weren't ready?" Barry finally asked with a groggy voice and a slight frown.

She carefully let go of his jacket, swiftly straightening it back before her finger went up to graze softly her lips, a blush appearing on her cheeks. She cleared her voice before whispering her reply. "Yeah… But it doesn't mean we can't kiss… Or cuddle…" She avoided his eyes shyly.

Barry was amazed at how he could turn this very confident and smart woman into a shy puddle of cuteness. His heart felt like swelling and he almost thought it would burst out of his chest. He carefully gathered her in his arms and leaned back against his bike. She buried her face in the crook of his neck while he softly caressed her hair. "I couldn't agree more." He whispered.

A comfortable silence settled between them and for a short moment nothing else existed outside their little bubble of wellbeing.

"Come on, let's go grab something to eat." Barry softly said before untangling himself from her. "I hope French food is okay with you, I made a reservation in the new restaurant near the city hall." Caitlin nodded while softly biting her lower lip.

He handed her the spare helmet he had brought and got on the bike. "Hop on."

Caitlin sat behind him, snaked her hands around his waist and pressed herself against his back. Barry had to take a deep breath to calm his heartbeat and concentrate on the road in front of him. The bike roared to life with a satisfying sound and they flashed away.

* * *

"So, how was your day?" Barry asked as soon as the waiter took their order.

They were sitting at a table by the window and had a very nice view above the market square, which was almost empty at that time in the evening. The restaurant had a cosy ambiance and Caitlin could see herself coming back here regularly.

"It was okay, I guess. A lot of work, but Cisco helped me with some of it so we managed to be more efficient." She replied with a thoughtful look on her face.

Barry tried to hide the relief of not hearing Jay Garrick's name in her sentence. He knew they were currently working together on a project and he really didn't like it. Cisco Ramon, on the other side, was one of her co-worker but also her best friend – so not a threat for the young agent. Barry had heard a lot about him but hadn't had the chance to meet him yet. "You should introduce us one day." He suggested while sipping on his glass of water. He had refused to drink wine because he would be driving her home.

"Yes, absolutely. He's very impatient in meeting you too." Caitlin smiled at him. "I'm sure you'll get along very well. He's a huge adorable dork. A bit like you." She teased.

Barry reached across the table to take her hand and she let him, slightly stroking his knuckles with her thumb. "You sure know how to make compliments, Dr. Snow." He gave her a blinding smile that made her cheeks turn a shade darker.

"Maybe I can visit the two of you at the lab one of these days." He said innocently after a moment of silence.

Caitlin sighed and gave him an annoyed roll of eyes. "You perfectly know that we're not allowed to have visitors. Why do you keep insisting?"

Barry felt his heart break as she extracted her hand from his, putting it on her laps under the table instead. "Well, it was worth the try." He mumbled to himself but the glare she gave him left no doubt that she had heard him. "Well I just want to see where you work." He tried to explain to soothe her look.

It seemed to work as her hand came back on the table. He didn't dare touching it yet so instead he fumbled nervously with his napkin. He felt so clumsy next to her. While being an excellent agent, he had always had some clumsiness problem. In action, it had never been a problem, as if he was a completely different person, as if he was wearing a suit and a mask.

But right now, he didn't feel like agent Allen, but more like Barry awkwardly trying to date an amazing woman.

"It's okay. I would love to show you around, but you know how my boss gets about that kind of things. I don't really know why, by the way." Caitlin's soft voice brought him back from his messy thoughts. "Maybe someday I'll manage to get you in." And her hand made its way back to his, stopping it from fumbling in the process, leaving the crumbled napkin in peace.

"So… Have ever gone to France?" Barry changed the subject to lighten up the mood after their meal arrived.

Caitlin swallowed the piece of chicken she had just put in her mouth before answering. "Once. I went to Paris with my family, but I can't quite remember it, I was little. I would love to go back and see more though. The south of France is supposed to be really nice too."

Barry engaged the conversation further, asking questions about her trip, telling her that he would love to go there too. He just wanted her to forget about the whole S.T.A.R. labs incident. It couldn't hurt that it was also keeping him from thinking about his job.

He didn't remember ever enjoying a date meal so much – the feel of her lips still lingering on his – even if part of him was still torn, like his two personalities were fighting for dominance.

It should've made him happy, knowing that he was doing progress in his case.

But somehow, it didn't.

For the time being, he would enjoy this evening with her, he would accompany her to her door and kiss her good night there – on the cheek or on the lips, the choice was hers. He wouldn't push; he respected her way too much for that. And he would go back to his place, falling asleep with her smile as his last thought – Caitlin bathing under the French sun.

Who knew, maybe one day they would go to south of France together?


	7. Falling Deeper

**_A/N: Hey guys! Here is the new chapter, I hope you enjoy! Tell me what you thought about it ;)_**

 ** _I don't own anything :)_**

* * *

For Caitlin, there was nothing more satisfying than finishing the work you had to do just in time to get ready for the date night that would follow. Caitlin let out a sigh of contentment as she closed all the open files on her laptop before shutting it off. Barry would arrive soon and fortunately she just had to put a last touch of make up on her eyes and she would be ready. They had nothing major planned for tonight, just a quiet night in.

She ran to the door as soon as she heard the knock. She took a moment to straighten back her hair before opening the door. Barry was standing in the hallway, a take-out bag in one hand and a board game in the other. Caitlin immediately recognised the latter as being the operation game.

"You once told me you were very bad at this game so I wanted to witness it with my own eyes." Barry explained when he saw her frown. "It's not every day that I can see Dr. Snow being bad at something." He continued while lifting his eyebrows playfully.

She rolled her eyes as she let him come in her apartment. He dropped a small kiss on her lips as he passed by and Caitlin felt a small blush creep up her cheeks. She slightly bit on her lips to keep herself from smiling and grazed her lips with the tips of her finger while Barry wasn't looking. It had been almost a month since they had agreed to take things slow, but she still wasn't really used to Barry kissing her – her heart still did crazy acrobatics every time it happened.

Seriously, she was acting like a high school girl blushing at the thought of her crush. Caitlin closed the door and followed him into her living room.

"I brought Italian food and I have also some movies, in case we get sick of playing doctors – pun intended." He said while putting his things on her coffee table. She rolled her eyes at his comment, something she seemed to be doing a lot more when he was around.

Ten minutes later, they were both sitting on the floor around the coffee table of her living room. They took turn playing the game and eating their food.

"This is not even remotely anatomically correct!" She complained after a shrilling beeping sound came out of the board game for what seemed like the hundredth time. Annoyed, she let go of the tweezers and went back to her spaghetti.

"That's not the point Dr. Snow" Barry chuckled before leaning forward as it was his turn to play.

"Then what is the point?" She groaned, making a face while leaning back against the armchair behind her.

"To have fun!" He said gleefully, showing her proudly the butterfly trapped in the pair of tweezers in his hand. "See, I just took out the butterfly from his stomach so he can now relax."

Caitlin just rolled her eyes and tried again to remove the apple from the patient's throat. The _'Beep!'_ cut her off as soon as she got close and she let out an exasperated groan. "It's not as easy as it looks."

Barry had to laugh at her competitive character – she was worrying her lower lips with her teeth and the crease between her eyebrows seemed to have settled there for the evening. He was sure that some people would find her behaviour annoying, but he found it endearing. Although, he knew when to stop teasing, so at the end of the game, they put the patient away and settled on her couch.

They ended up watching some cheesy chick flick, Barry sitting on her couch with Caitlin lying on it, her head resting on his laps. He was absent-mindedly stroking her hair while trying to concentrate on the movie, without much success. Caitlin was very calm and silent and he almost thought she had fallen asleep.

That was until she shyly broke the silence. "Barry?"

"Hmm?"

"You know I told you about our family meetings every first Friday of the month?"

Caitlin felt his body tense up at the mention and his hand went still in her hair. She scrunched her eyes close for a moment to gather the courage to continue. "Yeah?" Barry croaked hesitantly.

She lifted her head from his lap and sat straighter next to him. His hand that had been in her hair fell to the small of her back. Her eyes met his as she took a deep breath. "I thought that... maybe... you would like to... you know... accompany me next time?" Her voice came out weaker than intended.

Barry gaped at her with big round eyes. "You... you're sure?" He finally asked.

She let out a small chuckle. "Of course, you dummy, otherwise I wouldn't ask."

He didn't reply right away, too many thoughts were fighting a battle in his brain. He couldn't go, that would be crossing the line. He couldn't deceive her family too. _'Keep your distance'_ they had told him. Well that was easier said then done.

"I thought... I thought you wanted to take things slow? Don't you think it's too soon?" He tried to buy himself some time.

Caitlin flushed and looked embarrassingly away. "I know, but we're practically a couple... just without any physical intercourse, but still..." Good that she wasn't looking at him or she would've seen Barry turning crimson red at the scientific mention of their lack of action in the bedroom. "And I would like you to meet them, to show you that I'm serious, that I'm not leaving you hanging and that I'm making progress... that you mean a lot to me."

Barry didn't think it was possible to feel his own heart burst and constrict at the same time. The thing was, he really wanted to meet her family, but he knew it would make things even worse. The lie was becoming too big to carry. But maybe it would help him getting closer and finally gaining access to some S.T.A.R. Labs' documents.

Barry carefully put his hand under her chin and turned her face so that she could stare into his green eyes. He heard her breath catch in her throat as he leaned in to press his lips to hers in a sweet but meaningful kiss.

"I would love to." He whispered as he pulled away.

Caitlin snaked a hand behind his neck to bring his lips back down to hers and he felt her smile into the kiss. She settled back down on his lap after breaking the kiss and they turned their attention towards the movie again. At least they tried to.

When it finally reached to its end, Barry had to keep in the groan of despair for how much cliché the story had been. He finally looked down at Caitlin and saw she had fallen asleep, one of her hands clutching at his right one. He contemplated her for a few seconds before trying to extract himself from under her without waking her up. Naturally, he failed.

She stirred and clutched to his hand with more conviction. "Where d'you think you goin'." Caitlin's sleepy voice stretched a smile across his face.

"You need to go to bed or you'll be all cranky tomorrow morning." He explained as he stood up, her head falling on the couch accompanied by a loud groan. "Come on." Barry put one arm under her shoulder and the other one under her knees to carry her bridal style.

Caitlin cracked an eye open to glance at him. "Wow, you're so strooong." She giggled while her hand came up behind his neck to get a grip on him.

A small chuckle made his whole body vibrate against her and she had to bit her lip to keep the sigh of contentment to escape from it. Instead she nestled her face against his neck.

Barry carried her to her bedroom and finally laid her on her bed. Luckily she was already in stay-at-home comfy clothes (sweat pants and a t-shirt) so that she didn't need to change. He carefully tucked her in and sat on the edge of her bed, one hand stroking softly her hip. "There you go, now you can sleep in peace."

Caitlin nodded happily.

"Barry? Could stay until I fall asleep?" She said after a short moment of comfortable silence.

Startled by her request, he didn't reply right away. She opened one eye to glance at him and he had to admit it was pretty damn hard to resist. "Yes of course."

For a few minutes, they stayed like this, Caitlin under the covers and Barry sitting next to her. But apparently she wasn't quite satisfied with it. "There's place for you to lie in the bed too, you know?" She whispered.

His breath caught in his throat. "Don't do that, Cait... you said you weren't ready." He said seriously. The truth was, he wasn't ready to do this to her. He couldn't bear the thought of her sharing herself with him while he was still keeping things from her.

He saw her blush furiously and she hid further under the covers. "I meant to sleep. You know that's what people use a bed for, most of the time." Caitlin mumbled. "There's a big S.T.A.R. Labs shirt in the left drawer and some sweatpants if you want to wear something more comfy." She added when she saw him hesitate.

Cautiously, he nodded before standing up to follow her instructions and go to the bathroom to change.

Shortly after, he came out and put his day clothes on her chair. The borrowed clothes looked like they had been made for him. "Surprisingly, they fit perfectly." Barry commented as he made his way to the other side of the bed.

Caitlin immediately understood the question hidden under his seemingly innocent statement. "I keep that here in case my brother ever needs a place to crash."

Barry felt some tension evaporating from his shoulders as he slid under the cover. So they didn't belong to an ex-lover or anything…

"Night" she mumbled before turning on her side and sliding into a deep sleep. Barry observed her relaxed features and they lulled him to sleep.

* * *

Barry woke up about 2 hours later because of an uneasy dream, beads of sweat running down his forehead, hair sticking to his skin. He had seen himself hugging Caitlin and dream-Barry had turned to face a mirror, but all of his features had been erased, leaving him with a faceless head.

He sat on the edge of the bed, glanced behind him to make sure Caitlin was still sleeping and made his way to the bathroom. He threw some water on his face to wash away any dream-related-anxiety before looking at his reflection. Barry never thought much about bad dreams, never trying to decipher their hidden meanings. But somehow he felt like he would have a hard time getting back to sleep.

He took a last glance at his tired reflection in the mirror before making his way back to the bedroom. Barry was about to get back in bed when Caitlin's laptop caught his attention at the corner of his eye. He checked Caitlin one last time before taking the computer and going to the living room. On the way, he fetched his USB stick from his bag.

He settled on the kitchen table. "Okay, let's see what we can find." He whispered to himself has he opened the laptop. He had absolutely no idea what he should be looking for, but maybe something would ring a bell. He flew over most of her files until one name caught his attention. _'S.T.A.R. Labs'_. He double-clicked on it, glancing at Caitlin's bedroom door over his shoulder. The file was filled with project names and numbers. He wasn't surprised to see how good it was organised – there were no _'to be filed'_ -folders, no stray documents, no untitled folders…

He didn't have time to search deeper for now so he decided to copy the whole file on his stick. After that, Barry went to search in other part of the computer. A guilt knot formed itself at the pit of his stomach as he saw some personal files like _'Christmas Photos 2014'_ , _'Dad and Mom's present ideas 2015'_ and so on. But the worst was probably _'Wedding Plans – Ronnie'_.

Part of him really wanted to open it, the other part just wanted to flee the apartment right away and never look back.

He shrugged a chill away and then went to her Internet browser to look at some of her favourites and history. As soon as the browser opened, he heard movement behind him. As fast as he could, he typed in some name in the search engine.

"Barry? What are you doing up in the middle of the night? On my computer?" Caitlin's groggy voice broke the silence.

Barry turned in her direction, letting her see what was on display on the computer screen. "I was looking for the dude's name from the movie we watched last night."

"In the dark?" She asked suspiciously.

"I didn't want to wake you up." He smoothly explained.

"In the middle of the night?" She asked again. Damn she was hard to convince. And she was half asleep! He should never get caught in bright daylight, he thought bitterly.

"Yeah, it was nagging me and I couldn't go back to sleep without knowing. And my phone died..." He closed the computer to stop the conversation from going further, discretely grabbing the USB stick.

"Hmm..." She nodded, not quite convinced but too tired to search further. "Are coming back to bed?"

A shiver ran up his spine at the question. Barry looked up at her and she was extending her hand, waiting for him to take it. "How could I refuse?" He sweetly replied, grabbing her hand. She led him back to her room and he shoved the USB stick in his sweatpants' pocket.

They buried themselves under the covers and Barry was surprised as Caitlin put his arm around her waist so that her back was pressed against his chest and he could spoon her. He carefully applied a kiss on the top of her head before burying his face in her nape while a sigh of contentment escaped her lips.

' _Dear lord, I'm in deep trouble'_ was the last thing he thought before falling asleep.


	8. Threats

**_A/N: Here is the new chapter! Hope you like it :) And if you ever want to talk about Snowbarry, I'm available per PM or tumblr (destianac or drsnow-allen, I manage both blogs). Thanks again for the feedback and have a nice weekend! :)_**

 ** _I don't own anything :)_**

* * *

Barry had been trained to be alert 24/7. Even in his sleep, he could hear the slight disturbances around him and could react really fast in case his life was in danger. So he was quite surprised to be woken up by Caitlin cursing under her breath.

He opened his eyes with difficulty and saw her fumbling through her wardrobe. "Where the hell are those shoes when I'm looking for them?!" She muttered, kneeling down and throwing a cardigan on the side to look under. Her back was to him so when he asked what was going on, she jumped on the spot.

"Damn, you scared the crap out of me, Allen." She glanced at him, a hand on her heart as if she was trying to soothe it to avoid a cardiac arrest. "I'm sorry, I didn't want to wake you up." Caitlin gave him a small smile before turning back to her shoe search.

She was already completely dressed, except for her shoes, and Barry wondered how he hadn't woken up as soon as she had left the bed. He usually didn't have a deep enough sleep to block out sounds. Barry waved a hand into his messy hair and something on his left caught his eyes. Under her chair was a pair of black heels.

"Are those the shoes you're looking for?" He asked with a yawn, pointing under her chair on the other side of her bedroom. She peered up above the bed and her face lightened up at the sight.

"Oh thank you Barry, I was going crazy." She said agitatedly while grabbing the shoes and she then ran out of the room.

Barry frowned at her behaviour. What had happened to get her so worked up? How long had she been up while he was still sleeping? He slowly stood up and followed her into the living room. There, he found her ready to go. She had her coat on, her bag on her shoulder, her heels at her feet, her phone in one hand and a fresh cup of coffee in the other. Seeing Barry frown, Caitlin stopped, as she was about to reach the front door.

"I'm really sorry, but I overslept and now I'm running late to go to work. Make yourself at home, there's fresh coffee ready and some cookies in the kitchen." She nodded in the direction of said room. "There's also a spare key on the counter, just throw it in the mailbox or something… Or you can give it back another time."

He barely had time to nod that she was already out of the door. Barry felt like a one-night-stand where the girl had realised she had stayed over the whole night and was fleeing the place as soon as possible. Except they hadn't slept together and this was actually _her_ place. He ruffled his hair – his mind still dazed from sleep – trying to figure out what he had done wrong to scare her away like that. She wasn't suspecting him, was she?

He was so lost in his thoughts that he barely registered when the door opened again and she ran back in. "Did you forget something?" He asked with a sleepy frown.

"Yes." Caitlin stopped just in front of him and smiled before going on her tiptoes and giving him a quick kiss. She pulled back just as he realised what was happening. "I would've loved to eat breakfast with you, but I really have to go. So rain check?"

"Yeah." He croaked with the hint of a smile. Caitlin let out a small chuckle, messed up his hair even more with a flick of her hand, swiftly kissed him again before running out of the apartment – again.

She was something else, he thought. Dr. Caitlin Snow was completely different from every other girl he had dated. She was smart, sweet, funny and compassionate. But at the same time he felt like she had a childish side that she was repressing most of the time, trying to hide it behind all her organisation and strict rules. And Barry couldn't help the bubbly feeling in his stomach every time he managed to have a peak at this side of her.

He let out a deep sigh, putting his hands in his pockets. He felt the USB stick tickle his fingers and he was brought back to reality. He wasn't here to have a domestic life with his girlfriend, getting breakfast with an awesome woman and telling her how special she was.

No he was here because he had a job to do.

Barry quickly grabbed all of his things and was soon out of the door too.

* * *

"Here you go, keep me posted as soon as you find something relevant." Barry handed the USB stick to one of the guys working in the IT department to analyse the contents. He didn't wait for any answer and made a beeline for Oliver's office. His secretary tried to stop him but he just ignored the young man and Barry opened the door without even knocking.

Oliver was on the phone at his desk and raised a surprised eyebrow in his direction. "Hum, let me call you back." He said in the receiver before hanging up. Oliver laid back in his chair, bringing his hands together in front of him, clearly showing who was in charge here. "How can I help you Barry?"

It crossed Barry's mind that maybe he shouldn't do what he was about to do, maybe he should just apologise and go back to work. But now that he was here, he could at least give it a shot.

"I would like to tell her the truth." His voice came out almost as strong as he had wanted it to be. Almost.

Oliver frowned and leaned forward, putting his arms on his desk. "Excuse me?" He asked calmly but firmly.

Barry felt some of his courage crumble down to pieces, shattering at his feet and cleared his throat to give himself some composure. "I'm here to ask you permission to tell Dr. Snow the truth about me."

"Absolutely not." Oliver's voice cut through the silence like a very sharpened arrow and Barry could almost feel like he had been hit with it.

It wasn't a surprise, really. They had a code; they couldn't break it like that. But a small part of him had really hoped Oliver would make an exception. Barry must have opened and closed his mouth at least half a dozen times before sound finally came out of it. "Why not? I'm convinced that if I tell her the truth, she'll be able to help me."

"No, Mr. Allen." Barry winced at the use of his last name. That meant his boss was probably pissed at him. "And there will be no discussion about that. You have absolutely no idea if that young doctor is involved in Dr. Wells's plans or not. There is no way I'm allowing you to blow your cover as you get closer to your goal."

Barry took a deep breath, squaring his shoulder, puffing his chest to make his statement more impressive. "I just gave the IT department an USB stick and maybe they'll find something on it. I'm not really comfortable with using Cait… Hum… Dr. Snow for more."

Oliver frowned. "Well suck it up, that's your job! You're making progress; you can't quit now. I want you to get into S.T.A.R. labs and find some valuable intel there too. I think it's the only way to catch this guy for the safety of this city." Oliver stood up from his chair, put his hands on his desk and leaned on them, making his posture more threatening. "I'm not going to let you blow the whole operation because you have a little crush on your target." A devilish smile appeared on Oliver's features. "Beside, do you really think that if you tell her the truth she'll let you stick around? You've been lying to her this whole time – do you really think she'll trust you again?"

"But…" Barry tried to protest, his heart beating way too fast from the anxiety creeping all over his body. The idea that she would hate him if he admitted to everything had made itself present in his mind a few times, but he had pushed it aside. He had to believe that Caitlin would accept it if he were to come clean with her.

"There is no 'but' Mr. Allen. And if there is, then you have no longer a job and I'll ask a less subtle agent to take care of your pretty doctor."

Barry swallowed hard and felt beads of sweat appear at the seam of his hair on his forehead. He had always known how cold hearted and dangerous his boss could be, but it was the first time he was at the direct end of his threats. Getting Caitlin in on the secret with his boss's approval would've have been too good to be true. And Oliver did have a good point about the whole trusting thing. But at least he had tried. He'll just have to get his job done and go as far away from Caitlin as possible. For her own good. "Yes sir." He finally replied through grit teeth despite himself.

Barry slightly bowed his head in Oliver's direction before leaving the office and then making his way towards the bathrooms. He went straight to one of the sinks and splashed water on his face. He could still feel the chill of Oliver's threat. _"I'll ask a less subtle agent to take care of your pretty doctor."_ There was no doubt that nothing good could come out of this.

He never thought Oliver would stoop so low. His boss had probably his reasons, like the safety of the entire city being at stake. But still, threatening Caitlin was too far.

He now feared for her safety and he was responsible for that. Somehow, he had lost the boundary between lie and truth, the line between both being now all blurred. He had lost himself in the pretended relationship, everything felt so real with Caitlin – probably because, for her, it was. He had gotten way too involved in this and it was going to backfire. Hard. But he couldn't do anything to stop it – he had to finish this mission.

 _The show must go on!_

The sudden need to see her became unbearable. He grabbed his phone and sent her a text.

' _What are you doing for lunch?'_

* * *

"So Barry, you work at the CCPD?" Cisco asked before biting into his sandwich. Barry, Caitlin and Cisco were sitting at a small table in a café not far from S.T.A.R. labs to eat their lunch. Caitlin had suggested bringing Cisco along so that the two men could finally meet.

Barry nodded. "In the forensic department, yes."

"That's funny, I never heard about you." Cisco remarked. "I do some collaborations with them sometimes, when they need my mechanical engineering expertise." He added smugly when he noticed Barry's frown.

Barry immediately tensed up. He had to improvise quickly if he didn't want to appear suspicious. He really hadn't thought about the possibility of meeting someone _actually_ going to the CCPD station. "Hum… That's probably because I don't get out of the office often."

Cisco seemed to find the reason plausible and Barry's shoulder sank in relief as the young engineer took another bite of his lunch. He didn't quite follow the rest of the conversation as his phone began ringing. Barry glanced at the screen, which indicated Felicity was calling him and decided to just decline the call. Caitlin eyed him curiously before turning back to Cisco.

Barry should be enjoying this lunch. Cisco was a really funny and happy young man with whom he could see himself hanging out more. But the conversation with his boss was still weighing heavy on his shoulders. His phone rang again and he kept declining the call.

He felt a small hand sneak itself on his knee and he looked up to see Caitlin's worried gaze boring into his green eyes. "Barry, are you alright?"

"Hmm?" Was the only intelligent thing he could think of saying while losing himself in her eyes. Life would be so easier if he wasn't pulled apart from his two lives. If he could only be a young man, falling for this amazing smart doctor, having lunch with her and her best friend. If his only concern could be to impress her friend to convince him he was good enough for her.

But no, this was real life. He was falling for the woman he was lying to. He couldn't tell her the truth or he might lose everything. Including her.

"Your phone keeps ringing and you're not answering." Caitlin nodded towards his cell phone that was ringing again, eyeing the device as if it might explode at any moment.

Barry knew Felicity wouldn't give up soon. He softly squeezed Caitlin's hand on his knee before getting up. "I'll get that. I'll be right back"

He put some distance between his friends and him, feeling Caitlin's gaze on his back, and he finally answered the call. He didn't even have time to say anything that someone was already shouting at the other side of the line.

"Barry Allen! How dare you dodging my calls?!" Felicity's shrilling voice resonated along the whole length of his spine, making his hair stand straight.

"What do you want Felicity?" Barry sighed in annoyance.

He heard her take a deep breath. It was almost as if he could see her, sitting in front of her computer, pinching the bridge of her nose under her glasses, her other hand drumming nervously on her desk, her headset firmly stuck on her. Her voice was softer as she said: "I heard what happened with Oliver."

Barry let a hand go through the hair at the back of his head. "I don't want to talk about it."

"I know, but I need you to come back here."

"Why? I'm working." He whispered; making sure Caitlin or Cisco couldn't hear him.

"Sorry, but you can flirt later." She really did sound apologetic. "We found something on the USB stick you gave us."

Barry's breath caught in his throat and glanced at the table he had just left. He realised he hadn't actually expected them to find anything relevant from Caitlin's computer. He had thought it would've been pretty harmless scientific stuff. Did that mean that Caitlin was involved in the whole thing? Could he trust her or had she been playing him all along too. Was she one of the bad guys? He shook his head – he was becoming paranoid. "Okay, I'll be right there."

He hung up and quickly went back to the table, his hand going to Caitlin's shoulder out of habit. "I'm sorry but there's a work emergency, so I have to run."

"Everything all right?" Caitlin's worried gazed seemed to analyse his features.

"Yes, don't worry Cait." He dropped a kiss on her head. "It was nice meeting you Cisco!" And Barry was gone before any of the two scientists could even reply.


	9. Patient X

_**A/N: I know the weekend is behind me, please forgive my tardiness and here is the new chapter :) I keep saying it and will keep doing it : thank you ! :D**_

 _ **I don't own anything :)**_

* * *

When Barry arrived at the Headquarters a few minutes after having left the café, he wasn't expecting to see so many people in Felicity's office. As usual, she was sitting at her desk staring at her computer screen and Oliver was standing right behind her. What was out of the ordinary was John Diggle also standing in the room with the young IT expert to whom Barry had given his USB stick. There was also Iris West, their reporter and Barry's best friend.

"Hum… What's going on here?" Barry asked cautiously as he entered the room.

All sets of eyes flew up in his direction and Felicity told him to look at her screen with a hand movement. "Most of the files you got from Dr. Snow's computer were pretty harmless, typical scientific projects, some articles and researches… Nothing we didn't already know. What caught our attention were the patient files she has in her possession."

Barry stood next to his boss without giving him a second thought and curiously glanced at the computer screen. He could see dozens and dozens of files with each a different name on it. "Isn't it illegal to look at that?" Barry asked.

"In theory, it is. But because the city's safety is at stake, Starling Investigation as the right to." John quickly explained with a shrug. "Don't ask me how, I wouldn't be able to explain it."

Barry nodded and looked more intently at the file Felicity had just opened on a bigger screen on the wall of the room. "I was in charge of finding the suspicious things in theses files." Iris explained, approaching the big screen. "This seems like an ordinary patient file at first. But one intervention tickled my curiosity. This guy had plastic surgery."

Barry frowned. "Why would Caitlin have a plastic surgery patient?"

"Exactly what I thought." Iris continued, proud of her friend's quick thinking. "Except this isn't Dr. Snow's patient. The signature at the bottom of the file is Dr. Wells's." She pointed at the quickly scribbled signature. Right beside it, Felicity pulled out Caitlin's signature, which carried a swift grace, like Caitlin had spent time and effort to perfect it.

"But he's not a medical doctor, right? He shouldn't have been allowed to sign this document." Barry approached the screen to look at the details closer.

"That's why I called you so that you could come here as fast as possible." Felicity intervened. "There's something absolutely fishy about the whole thing. This opens a lot of new questions."

"Why would Dr. Snow have this file in her possession? Is she involved in all of this? Can you trust her?" John asked.

"Who is this patient and why is he that important that Dr. Wells signed his patient file?" Iris continued. At the mention, Barry looked for the patient's name on the file. But it was blacked out and the name of the document itself was 'Patient X'.

"What does he have to do with S.T.A.R. labs and is he a threat to the city?" Oliver finished. Because who would do extensive plastic if it wasn't to hide something?

So many questions were fighting together in Barry's mind. But the question that seemed more important to him was: _'What was Caitlin's involvement in all of this?'_

* * *

"So, how is it going with your case?"

Barry launched himself at Eddie once again, dodging a right hook and grabbing him by the waist to tackle him to the ground. Eddie let out a loud puff of air at the impact, raising his hand in surrender. Barry let go of him to stand up and then stretched a hand to help him up.

"We're making progress." Barry replied, grabbing his towel to wipe off some of the sweat gathering to the back of his neck. "Caitlin's beginning to trust me. I'm meeting her parents next Friday."

Eddie took a gulp of water. "Seriously, dude? The parents?" He gaped at him after closing his bottle of water. "Don't you think you're crossing a line there?"

Barry glanced up at his friend and shrugged. Barry and Eddie had quickly hit it off and were now very good friends. They usually hung out together at HQ but also out of work, given that he was also Iris's boyfriend. Right now, they were training at the HQ's gym. Eddie always had new moves to teach Barry and it also allowed them to blow off some steam when their current case wasn't that active.

"I know, but what can I do? If I refuse, she's going to back off and that's the opposite of what I want." Barry complained.

"I feel your pain." Eddie replied with a small smirk, which earned him Barry's wet towel in his face. "Ugh! That's disgusting." The blond man threw away the towel.

Barry burst out laughing and Eddie soon joined him, as they both sat on a bench.

"Hey, Iris told me about the Patient X thing. Who do you think it is?" Eddie asked as things calmed down.

Barry shook his head in despair. "I have absolutely no idea. But I have a feeling weird things are happening at S.T.A.R. labs."

"Hum…" Eddie nodded thoughtfully. "I heard there was a gorilla in there… And an accelerator thingy?"

Barry shrugged. "A particle accelerator. The files I got from Caitlin's computer don't say much about it, but at least they allowed us to know about their existence."

Eddie immediately spotted the anxious look displayed on his friend's features. He lightly patted his shoulder. "Hey, you know it's never too late to back off, right? If you think things are going too far, someone else can take over." He tried to reassure him.

Barry shot him a frightened look. "No way, I took this case and I'm keeping it."

The blond man lifted his hands in surrender – clearly seeing it was a delicate subject. "I was just saying… Come on, let's go shoot some things." Eddie suggested and they made their ways to the shooting range.

Barry followed him in silence. _"I'll ask a less subtle agent to take care of your pretty doctor."_ It was still ringing in his head every time he thought about backing off. He couldn't do that to Caitlin, he had to protect her.

* * *

"This is so cheesy…" Barry groaned, while a smile couldn't help from stretching itself on his face.

"Shush, I'm trying to listen to Andrew!" Caitlin softly nudged him in the ribs.

Barry chuckled as he looked down at her. They were both back at her apartment, on her couch watching "The Proposal". Barry was sitting on one end of the couch while Caitlin was almost completely spread against him, her head resting against his chest, her hand playing with his button down shirt while his right hand was softly stroking her back.

She looked very focused at the TV screen, slightly biting her lower lip. Barry was pretty sure she already knew the movie, but it seemed like it was the first time. His moment of observation was suddenly interrupted buy the loud laugh that burst out of her mouth.

Barry's eyes flew back up to the screen and saw both main characters butt-naked squeezed against each other. His eyebrows shot up, almost disappearing under his messy hair. How the hell had these two characters ended up in that position? Had he been staring at Caitlin for so long that he had lost the course of the movie?

He tried to concentrate back on the movie, but the woman against him kept attracting his eyes like it was a magnet. It were moments like these where he realised he didn't need to pretend anything while being with her. She made him feel at ease and at peace with himself. He didn't remember ever being so relaxed with a girl he dated, even if his job was a constant presence at the back of his mind. He dropped a light kiss on the top of her head before settling himself more comfortable on the couch, tugging Caitlin closer to him to watch the end of the movie.

The credits were finally rolling down on the screen but Caitlin didn't make a move to either shut down the TV nor to get up. "I don't want to go to bed…" She suddenly groaned against his chest. The vibrations made a shiver run down Barry's body. "Because if I do, it means I'll have to get up in the morning to go to work…"

He chuckled at her grumpy behaviour. "I thought you loved your job."

"Oh don't get me wrong, I love my job! It's just that I have a lot to do these days, and I'm kind of comfortable right here." Caitlin's right hand was now playing with the creases of his shirt while her left one was around his waist, hugging him closer to her.

Caitlin rarely talked about work, mainly because she wasn't allowed to, with the whole "Secrecy Policy" they had going on at S.T.A.R. labs. So special agent Allen saw the opportunity that was offering itself to him.

"Dr. Wells gave you a lot to do, didn't he?"

Caitlin let out a yawn and nodded against his chest, which made his heartbeat go a little too fast. "Uh-huh… He's out of town for a few days, so he loaded me with _some_ of his projects." Barry could tell she was dead tired and he should probably let her go to sleep instead of questioning her. But the trained spy inside of him was telling him to take advantage of her weak state to get information from her. His actions would probably disgust him later, but he had to get more information or the threat of his boss would become more real as times goes by. He also had to know what her involvement was; he had to put his mind at ease on that subject. He really wanted to believe that she was innocent.

"I see… that's not cool…" He cleared his throat, making her head bounce a little. "By the way, is Dr. Wells a doctor?" He asked with an innocent look on his face.

Caitlin's hand on his shirt stopped dead on its track. She slowly lifted her head off his chest and eyed him with wide eyes like something weird was popping out his ears. "You've got to be kidding me…" She mumbled while shaking her head.

' _Damn, not that sleepy after all'_ Barry thought. "Okay, don't get mad, I was just wondering and…"

"Are you actually asking me if _Doctor_ Wells is a doctor?" She cut him off still staring at him with bewilderment, making an emphasis on the 'doctor'.

Barry frowned at her reaction and then laughed in relief, as he understood her confusion. "No, I was asking if he was a medical doctor… Like would he be able to prescribe drugs? … Or you know, sign off on medical treatments?" He carefully added.

The surprised look on Caitlin's face was soon replaced by one of suspicion. "Why are you asking me this, Barry?"

"No reason, I'm just curious."

"Barry…" She trailed off with a menacing voice.

He nervously rubbed the back of his neck with his hand. He had to find an excuse, and fast because he could feel Caitlin's burning gaze on him. "I… hmm… I was wondering… you know… if he would be able to… you know… write me an excuse… hmm… for a sick leave."

There he was rambling like an awkward teenager again. How did Caitlin manage to turn him into a puddle of nervousness so easily? Barry was a spy, he lied on a daily basis for a living, but as soon as he had to lie in front of these beautiful brown eyes, he felt all his skills evaporating into thin air.

"Why would you want him to do that?" Her voice seemed calculated and slow. Barry felt like that time he had been arrested for a case. The cops had interrogated him for hours until Oliver had managed to find a valuable excuse to get him out of there, without blowing off his cover. Except Caitlin seemed way better at the interrogation techniques then the police officers.

Barry shrugged, trying to look casual about the whole conversation. "You never know when you need a day off."

"If you need an excuse to ditch work, why don't you ask _me_ , your girlfriend, to write you a sick leave?" There was a crease between her eyebrows as Caitlin frowned at him.

Barry tried to ignore the fluttering of his heart at the sound of Caitlin calling herself his girlfriend. "Well I don't want to take advantage of you in that way."

She raised doubtful eyebrow. "But you'd take advantage of my boss, thus me indirectly?"

Barry looked shamefully down at his hands lying on his laps. "Touché…"

The intensity of her stare lessened a bit and Barry felt some pressure disappear. "He's not a medical doctor so he wouldn't be able to do it anyway."

Caitlin stood up and shut down the TV before heading to her kitchen. Barry lifted his head back up to look at her but she didn't spare him a glance as she left the room. He felt his heart constrict itself. He really had to drop all the suspicious questions. The night had been going wonderfully well and he had to screw everything up with his inquiries.

He heard the water run has Caitlin did the dishes in the kitchen. Barry hopped up and went to find her. "Hey Cait, I told you I would clean up."

She didn't turn her head towards him as he came in, stubbornly looking down in the sink. She did jump as he came behind her, putting his arms around her, stopping her movements in the process. With one hand, he shut off the water, with the other he turned her around so that she could face him.

"Listen, I'm sorry if I upset you. But let me do the dishes and I'll get out of your hair." He said very softly and she gazed up at him. "It was just a dumb question."

Caitlin smiled at him and he felt the grip on his heart lessen a bit. It disappeared completely when she rose up on her tiptoes, snaking a hand to the back of his neck and pressed her lips against his. "I'm not mad." She said after slightly pulling away from his face, her hand resting on his cheek. "I just want you to know that I'm here if you need to talk about something… Anything, really." She bore her eyes into his and Barry felt himself being surrounded by warmth.

He softly rubbed his nose against hers. "I know." He whispered before kissing her once again, but this time with more force and passion. Caitlin let out a small moan of surprise before gripping his shirt, tugging him closer, deepening the kiss, invading his mouth with her tongue. Her right hand left the back of his neck to join the other one, which was beginning to undo the buttons of his shirt.

"Cait…" he mumbled against her lips before diving back in when he saw her eyes flutter in his direction.

He felt her cold hands sneak under his undershirt after finishing the task of unbuttoning. The cold sensation had the effect of striking him back to reality. "Cait." Barry said more forcefully, pulling away and stopping her hands with his.

Caitlin's tired eyes flew up to his face. He lifted a hand to softly stroke her cheek. "Not tonight. You need a good night's sleep."

A blush crept up her cheek as she bit her lower lip while slowly nodding. Her hands came out of under his shirt to lay around his waist, bringing him closer so that she could bury her head in the crook of his neck while he returned her hug.

"Will you stay?" she muttered against his skin, which sent a small shiver down Barry's spine. His grip on her just tightened even more.

"How could I refuse?" He whispered back.

 _Really, he couldn't._


	10. Family Dinner

_**A/N: So in this chapter we get to see a bit of what happens in Caitlin's mind. Hope you like it!**_

 _ **I don't own anything ;)**_

* * *

She checked her watch again. As usual, he was late. But this time, it was making her nervous. She glanced at her reflection in the mirror in front of her and fixed her hair for what felt like the hundredth time. Caitlin fidgeted with the watch on her wrist as she paced in her room. It had been a long time since she'd introduced someone to her family – the last one being Ronnie. So it was a no-brainer as why she was so tense. For a brief moment, she wondered if Barry took it as seriously as her. But she pushed the thought away – Barry was always late.

She jumped at the sound of a loud knock.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry…" She heard Barry repeat as soon as she opened the door. He was giving her the puppy eyes and already half of her anger was gone.

She shook her head in despair, grabbed her bag and went out in the hallway, locking the front door behind her. "Let's go." Caitlin said a bit harshly.

Barry followed her obediently down the stairs. They got in her car in silence, Caitlin trying to calm down her anger and Barry trying to avoid making things worse.

She pulled out of her parking lot and made her way towards the highway. After about 10 minutes of silence, Barry decided to speak. "Cait, I'm really sorry, but things got crazy at work and I didn't see the time fly by." He used his softest voice.

Caitlin let out a loud sigh and glanced at him. "I know…" She finally said. "It's okay… It's just that being late makes me even more nervous."

Barry's eyebrows shot up. "Nervous? You?" He asked incredulously. "But it's your family. If you're nervous, what do you think I'm feeling right now? It's nerve-wracking."

She chuckled at his behaviour. "Aw, come on it's going to be fine, my family's not _that_ bad."

"Says the woman who just said she was nervous!" Barry squeaked.

Caitlin rolled her eyes at his antics. There was really no reason to be nervous, right? Barry was great and her family would see that. There was no reason for things to go bad.

Except something was nagging her at the back of her brain, something she had tried to ignore for the past few months since she'd met him. She couldn't help thinking Barry wasn't completely honest with her, like he was keeping something from her. But she had no idea in which department – it was just a feeling.

She always wondered how she got that lucky, how it was possible that this great guy had chosen her. She had never believed in destiny, but she couldn't help wondering what would've happened if Jitters hadn't been packed full that day, if Barry hadn't sat at her table, if they hadn't talked, if they hadn't accidentally run into each other at the supermarket. Part of her wanted to believe in the magic of this story.

The other part, the scientific one, was wondering how much Barry was keeping from her. He always seemed available when she asked him to do something. She could ask at any moment of the day, and he would be free to see her. It made her wonder if he ever went to work.

Speaking of work, she had never visited his lab, though he insisted with visiting hers. Which was also weird. What was so interesting in S.T.A.R. labs that he wanted so bad to see? Sure, there were some pretty nice things to see inside, but nobody from the outside knew about it.

Also, she still hadn't gone to his place, while he was really often at hers. Sure, she had never asked to go there, but he had also never suggested it. Why was that?

Caitlin was brought out of her deep thoughts as Barry turned the radio on in her car. After fumbling with the buttons, he finally found something he liked. She soon recognised the well-known _'Summer Lovin'_ song from Grease. A small smile appeared on her lips when she heard Barry humming absent-mindedly to the song. She realised she didn't know he had a nice singing voice. What else didn't she know about him?

Caitlin concentrated back on the road, ignoring the weight settling at the pit of her stomach. She was introducing him to her family, it was now too late to pull back and it wasn't the time to doubt her partner.

A partner she realised she didn't know _that much_ about.

* * *

"Stop fidgeting, you make me feel like my family is horrible." Caitlin finally snapped, putting a firm hand on his knee to stop it from moving. They were still in her car, parked right in front of her parents' house. They had been staying there in silence for the past 10 minutes. She had been staring at the house and with each passing minute, Caitlin had felt the tension rising inside Barry. His knee had been going up and down like a nervous kid in a waiting room.

"Well, what are we waiting for?" Barry puffed out, a little bit annoyed.

Caitlin glanced furtively at him before looking back out. It had been very short, but it had been enough for Barry to see the anxious look she was displaying. Worry immediately replaced his nervousness.

He placed a soft hand on her shoulder. "Cait, what's going on?"

She tried to shrug it off, but Barry wasn't taking any of it. Caitlin finally looked back at him, taking a deep breath before speaking. "You're the second boyfriend I introduce to my family. I've had a few more but never brought them home." She nervously bit her lower lip, staring at his eyes. "And now I'm thinking it's maybe to early for this." With her thumb she pointed back to her parents' house.

Barry's eyes squinted as he beamed at her. She wasn't expecting the flutter of her heart at the sight. "Hey, don't worry, it doesn't have to mean anything special. It's not because we're having dinner with your parents that we'll have to get married next month." He said softly, his right hand flying up to her cheek, his thumb carefully stroking her skin. "It's just dinner."

' _It doesn't have to mean anything special.'_ Somehow that sentence managed to calm her down, as she got lost in his deep green eyes. He was leaving her the choice. And she hadn't known how badly she needed that. Being in control of the situation.

Caitlin swiftly wondered how long they could actually stay like this, staring at each other in her car. But she decided she would experiment on it another day. Right now pressing her lips against his seemed like a way better idea. He seemed to agree.

* * *

"So, Barry, I heard you were a CSI?"

"Correct Mr. Snow. I work for the forensic department at the CCPD."

Caitlin and Barry were both sitting on the couch of her parents' living room, while Kelsey – Caitlin's mother – was finishing up in the kitchen and Archibald – Caitlin's father – was sitting in his armchair observing the young couple.

Barry was sitting perfectly straight, facing her father without a single flinch, while Caitlin was sitting next to him, clutching at his hand in support. She had always known her father to be quite impressive. As a kid, all of her friends had kind of feared him. But Barry seemed to handle it pretty easily – or, knowing him, he was keeping it all inside to make a good impression.

"Are there any possibilities of climbing up that social ladder in this job?" Archibald asked seriously after taking a sip of his drink.

"Dad…"Caitlin tried to stop that line of questioning as she felt Barry tense up next to her. But her father just waved his hand in her direction, his eyes not leaving the younger man.

Barry cleared his throat before answering. "Actually, there is. I could get my own laboratory and create a private company, or I could end up at the head of a FBI forensic lab for example, or maybe even the CIA." Caitlin's father seemed both satisfied and impressed by his reply. Barry smiled tensely, waiting for the next question.

There was a knock on the door, interrupting their conversation.

"Caity, that's probably your brother." The older man told his daughter.

Caitlin jumped up from the couch in excitement and almost ran to the front door. They heard a small squeal of joy followed by a low chuckle. Barry nervously rubbed his hands on his pants to dry off the sweat gathering in his palms. Meeting her brother was one of his top worries. He had absolutely no idea what to expect. The only thing Barry knew about him, was that he had a PhD in English Literature and was teaching his subject in College while doing research.

Barry stood up as he heard footsteps coming back towards them and faced the entry of the living room. Caitlin came in followed by a tall dark haired man firmly built. Her brother looked like the kind of guy who would go jogging for breakfast while reading some great English literature for lunch. He had a big grin on his face as he teased his sister with small pokes, making her giggle like a little kid.

"Come on, I want you to meet Barry." Caitlin batted away his hand and showed Barry.

Her brother turned serious all of a sudden, observing the young man from behind his glasses. "So you're the forensic guy Caity has been telling me about."

Barry swallowed hard as the taller man approached him with a threatening stance. "Hi, I'm Allen… hmm… CSI… hmm… Barry… Barry Allen… forensic scientist." He rambled nervously.

Caitlin's brother cracked a smile and extended his hand to greet him. "Nice to finally meet you. I'm Nathan."

"You too… nice to… meet you." Barry croaked while shaking his hand.

The grip from Nathan suddenly tightened and he brought Barry closer to hug him. "If you hurt her, I'll hurt you." He whispered through clenched teeth in his ear so that only Barry could hear, as he tapped on his back to keep up appearances. Barry just nodded in reply as Nathan pulled back. The threat was short but effective.

Barry sat back down next to Caitlin, a little bit shaken up by the exchange.

"So, what are your intentions with my little sister?" Nathan took place next to his father, examining Barry like he was some new text he had to analyse.

"Nathan, don't start." Caitlin pleaded.

"Shush, let him talk." And it felt like a déjà vu. At that moment, Caitlin saw how much her father and her brother were actually alike. They were both pulling the protective card on her boyfriend.

"Well, right now I'm letting things go their own way and we'll see where it brings us." Barry replied with a small shrug of his shoulders. "I'm not going to impose my intentions on her."

Nathan slowly nodded and opened his mouth to ask something else but he was cut off. "Enough with the interrogation, dinner's ready." Caitlin's mother said from the doorway; saving Barry the trouble to answer to another delicate question.

They all sat around the table, Barry next to Caitlin, opposite to Nathan, while her parents were at both ends of the table. They served themselves some food while her mother explained what she had cooked for them.

"So, honey, how is your job going?" Kelsey asked her daughter, around the middle of the meal.

"Very good, I've got a lot to do, but it's very rewarding." Caitlin replied excitedly and Barry smiled at her.

"Really?" Her father asked doubtfully.

"Yeah… Why do you ask?" Her excitement died down very quickly. She had known it was coming, but she had hoped that they wouldn't bring it up because her new boyfriend was here. Apparently not.

"I just think you could do better." Archibald shrugged as if his opinion didn't really matter. Except everyone knew it did.

"Really dad?" Caitlin put down her fork and leaned back in her chair, crossing her arms on her chest, annoyed at her father's behaviour.

"It just seems like you work a lot for nothing." He explained matter-of-factly. "You don't really publish anything because of the whole secrecy policy, and when you do, a lot of the credits go to Dr. Wells… It just doesn't seem fair…"

"I agree." Nathan intervened. "Why don't you join me at the University, you'll have a lot more of freedom and you'll still have a good pay."

Caitlin rolled her eyes. "We've already talked about this. I love working at S.T.A.R. labs, I've got my own team, we've got exceptional equipment and I earn good money." She lifted her hands in the air. "And I do publish, with my name right next to Dr. Wells's."

"I just think you could do better." Archibald repeated, ignoring her arguments.

Caitlin was about to retort, but she just shook her head in despair. She knew it didn't bring much to argue against her family. This subject came up at every single family time they had. She could feel tension building up between her shoulders. She relaxed a little when Barry's hand sneaked towards her to hold her hand lying on her lap. He softly squeezed it to show his support and Caitlin gave him grateful look before turning back to her father.

"Dad, this is my dream job. Can we please drop the subject?"

Archibald ignored her request and turned his intense gaze towards Barry. "What do you think, Barry?" Her father looked at the young man as if his answer would change the course of their future relationship. And it probably would.

Barry took a sip of water to give himself time to think about his answer. He could see two options: either he would side with Caitlin and her parents would probably be pissed at him and would give him a hard time; or he would side with her parents, which would please them, but then Caitlin wouldn't be very happy with him. He felt like he was standing at a dead end.

Barry cleared his throat before looking straight at her dad. "I think Caitlin has a great position at S.T.A.R. labs right now. She's a brilliant young woman at the head of a great team, and I'm sure she can do anything from where she is." He glanced at Caitlin sitting next to him and realised she was staring right back at him, her eyes a shade darker than usual, her teeth softly nibbling on her lower lip. "I know that when she makes up her mind about something, she's going to do everything possible to achieve it. And I also think she should be the one to decide what to do with her life."

Caitlin didn't think any of her friends or past boyfriends had ever had the guts to stand against her father. Especially at the first meeting. Knowing Barry, he was probably nervously shaking like a leaf inside, but outside he looked really confident. She was quite impressed at how Barry was handling himself around her family. He seemed to answer well to her brother's teasing threats, he managed to charm her mother with compliments and have some repartee against her father.

And somehow, all these things made her heart swell in her chest as all her previous worries disappeared. She really liked Barry.

Like really, _really,_ liked him.


	11. Let Me Hold You

**_A/N: Well things are going serious over here! Everyone is fearing the moment Caitlin will find out, but don't worry guys, I'm a sucker for happy endings ;) Anyway, I'll let you read the chapter! Thanks again for the support!  
_**

 ** _I don't own anything :)_**

* * *

"Well I think it went pretty well, right?" Barry asked cheerfully from the passenger seat. "Nobody tried to kill me, so that's a win."

Caitlin glanced at him, a light smile curling her lips up, before looking back to the road. They had left her family house for about 20 minutes and the weight lying on their shoulders the whole day had finally been lifted, breathing was easier and her heart was beating crazily. Barry felt like he was on a sugar rush, his lungs too full of air and his lips so stretched that he could feel cramps in his cheeks. And everything felt right.

Caitlin shrugged, trying to act unaffected. "Yes, I think you handled things pretty nicely."

He turned his head so quickly to face her that she was afraid he would actually break his neck. "You think so?" A look of shock was plastered all over his face.

"I do." She replied softly, peeking at his goofy face, her heart getting bigger in her rib cage. "Besides, Nathan was so happy to find someone able to keep up with his fitness addiction, it was pretty cute."

Barry chuckled at the mention, relaxing back in his seat. True enough, Nathan had begun talking about his weekly trips to the gym and had even wanted to show them some of his favourite moves. Without really thinking about impressing anyone, Barry had given him a few tips to work out more effectively. From then on, Nathan had turned all heart-eyes for Barry for the rest of the evening.

"I didn't even know you worked out that much." She innocently remarked, one corner of her lips going up. Obviously, Caitlin had noticed how well built Barry was, slim yet muscular. Quite often she had found herself thinking about his hard body against hers while they would cuddle. She had never seen what was hiding under his shirt, but she had felt it. And she was intrigued by it.

Barry went silent for a moment. "Oh… huh… I work out… occasionally." He finally said without giving her more information, yet bringing her out of her daydreaming. He couldn't really tell her that he had to be fit for his work, since being a forensic scientist didn't really require any special physical skills. He decided to deviate the subject. "Your brother is some interesting dude."

"He is." Caitlin nodded as she took a turn on the road. "Not really what you would expect from a PhD in English literature, right?"

"Not at all." Barry chuckled.

Caitlin checked her rear-view mirror before driving on the highway. "He always used to say he needed to protect himself if someday someone tried to steal his books." She added with the typical Caitlin-roll-of-eyes that Barry adored.

"Fair enough." He laughed. "Well, I like him. We promised to go for a run together one of these days."

Caitlin raised an eyebrow. "Really? That's nice."

Barry beamed at her, momentarily catching her eyes and she had to take a deep breath to keep herself from pulling over and kiss his smile off his face. Today, she had discovered how easily Barry could adapt himself to a situation. She had seen him getting along with her family so well, that it had made her like him even more than before. She had never realised how much the approval of her family actually mattered to her. And Barry had passed the test with flying colours.

It was getting late, but Caitlin wasn't quite ready for the day to end. A few hours ago, she had had so many doubts about her whole relationship with Barry. But right now everything seemed in place. She felt good.

They stayed in a comfortable silence for the rest of the ride, tired but content with the events of the day. When they arrived back at her building, she parked in her usual place and they got out of the car. Barry opened her trunk to get his bag and his helmet. His red motorbike was standing right next to her car where he had left it a few hours ago. He put his things down and went to put his arms around her waist as she locked her car.

"I'm glad you invited me today, I had fun." Barry said softly.

She looked up at him and snaked a hand behind his neck to play with his short hair. "I'm glad you accepted." She replied in an even tone. "And also that nobody died." She added with a smirk.

He chuckled against her, making her shiver. Barry lifted a hand to her face, carefully threading his fingers through her hair. He dropped a sweet and short kiss against her lips before leaning his forehead against hers. "Okay, I should go." He whispered, his eyes closed, as if pulling away was physically painful.

Caitlin's heart began doing acrobatics in her chest and she knew she couldn't quite let go of him now. Her grip on the back of his neck tightened as she brought his lips back down to hers, muffling a moan in the process. She softly nibbled on his lower lip to ask for permission to enter, which he gave without hesitation and Barry groaned at the contact of her tongue against his. He backed her against her car and she let out a small squeal of surprise, which was soon replaced by a moan of contentment. She dropped her bag to the floor to let her hand travel freely on his shoulder.

They lost themselves in each other for a moment, before they finally pulled away when the need for air couldn't be ignored anymore. Barry let a hand dance against her back as they both tried to calm their ragged breaths down.

Caitlin let her tongue swipe her swollen lips as if to taste the remaining of his presence there, and she then softly bit on her lower one. Barry could watch her do that all day long if he had the choice.

While staring at her, he wondered when everything had become so real with Caitlin. Had anything ever been fake? Had he ever had a chance against her? He didn't think so. She had trapped him in her beautiful web even before he had sat at her table at Jitters. The first time he had caught her eyes, he had been lost. And he didn't regret any second spent with her. He momentarily wondered if that was how love really felt. But somehow, he knew he could fall even more for her than he already had. He was just grazing the immensity of the possible with her. They had so much more to discover together and it was thrilling.

"Would you like to come up and stay the night?" She finally whispered, breaking the silence reigning in the parking lot.

Caitlin's twinkling eyes met his and Barry felt his heart galloping. It wasn't rare that, after spending time together in the evening, she would ask him if he wanted to stay the night at her place. Sometimes she didn't even have to ask, it was like a silent agreement. It had always meant just sleep and some cuddling. And Barry had always been more than fine with it – he actually cherished these nights. But the way she had said it this time, made his pulse quicken and his breathing becoming uneven again.

Caitlin's eyes were three shades darker than usual, the way she was worrying her lower lip didn't have the same edge as usual, her grip on the back of his neck was strong yet delicate and her other hand was playing with the hem of his button-down shirt.

Barry had to swallow hard at the breath-taking sight he had in front of him. He should leave. Right now. But he really didn't want to. He had never felt this way about anyone. Caitlin was the first person able to make his heart act crazy by just being near him. He felt shivers running all over his skin at the simple touch of her fingers and all he wanted to do was to lose himself in her.

Barry held her gaze like it was his lifeline, he could see in her eyes that she wanted him to say yes, that she wanted the exact same thing as him. And right now, Barry was too weak to refuse, the connection between them being way deeper than he could have ever imagine.

He crushed his lips back down to hers and Caitlin rose on her tiptoes to be even closer to him, clutching at his body like her life was depending on it. When they separated to get some air again, Barry began peppering kissing along her jaw and neck; making her knees go weak. She felt a shiver running down her spine and Barry's fuzzy mind misinterpreted it as a cold shiver. He pulled away breathlessly. "Let's go up."

Caitlin beamed back at him, interweaving her fingers with his, pulling him towards her building right after he had picked up his things from the floor – including her bag. On the way up to her apartment, they couldn't keep their hands off each other. The silence was only disturbed by kisses and giggles.

Tonight the only thing that mattered was the both of them together. Caitlin had put her doubts to rest for the time being and Barry had deactivated the spy-mode inside of him. There was nothing in the back of their minds to ruin their time together as they stumbled on her bed – half of their clothes lost somewhere in her apartment – and tangled themselves in her sheets, ragged breaths mixed with muffled moans and clear laughs.

Tonight it was just the both of them – Caitlin and Barry – Barry and Caitlin – surrendering to their deepest desires, and nothing else.

And everything was right where it belonged.

* * *

" _How could you do this to me?! After all this time! Everything was a lie!"_

 _Barry put his hands up in front of him as a shield. "Please, Cait, I can explain!" He said, trying to be as calm as possible. Which was quite difficult while his girlfriend was pointing his own gun at him._

" _Don't you dare call me Cait, you don't have the right! I don't even know who you are anymore!" Caitlin waved the gun in his direction, tears streaming down her eyes. The look on her face was heart wrenching. If she hadn't had a deadly weapon in her hand and if her anger hadn't been directed at him, he would've run to envelope her in his arms. "You let me sleep with you…" Her voice cracked while a shining tear running down her cheek caught the light, almost blinding him, and he felt his heart tumble down the length of his body and shatter itself on the floor into millions of pieces._

" _Of course you know me. It's still me, Barry." The young man choked from the emotion and the fear. Everything was going wrong. How did all of this happen? Why was everything out of control? How hadn't he seen it coming? "Please put the gun down and we can talk this through." Barry took one small step in her direction._

 _Panic struck in her eyes and he stopped dead in his tracks. "Don't come any closer, or you'll regret it." She warned him coldly, her features losing all their warmth. Her make-up was all smudged on her face and, again, if it weren't for the gun in her hand and the tears in her eyes, he would've found it endearing._

 _He ignored her warning and took one single step._

 _Which he regretted as soon as he took it._

 _Caitlin took the gun with both of her hands, turned it up and pointed its barrel under her head. "Good-bye Mr. Allen." She said in a blood-curdling voice, staring right into his eyes with a determined look on her face. And the next thing he knew, she was pulling the trigger, putting a bullet through her skull._

 _His throat burned as he cried her name, tearing up his lungs, pain shooting through his body as if he had been the one receiving a bullet._

That's the exact moment when he woke up, sitting straight up on the bed, beads of sweat running down his face, his throat still burning from a cry. Next to him, Caitlin's frightened and worried gaze looked up at him.

"Barry? Are you okay?" She asked, her voice dripping from a mixture of sleep and worry.

Barry simply looked at her with round eyes while panting – like he had just been running a marathon. Caitlin sat up next to him, putting her hand on his back softly soothing him. "It was just a nightmare." She murmured in his ear, her lips grazing his skin in the process.

"It felt so real." He choked on a sob and buried his face in the crook of her neck, his arms going around her waist and clutching at her like his life was depending on it, as if he was afraid she would disappear if he didn't hold on hard enough. He needed to feel her hot skin, her living body against his, the beating of her heart. He needed to erase the images of her torn face out of his mind and replace it by her warm smile.

"Ssh, it's okay, I'm here." She whispered while her other hand tangled itself in his messy and sweaty hair. "We're together."

They stayed like this for what felt like decades, Barry sobbing in her neck, tears leaving a wet trail on her t-shirt – which, by the way, was his, but he was way too shaken up to realise it – while she was calmly humming and cradling him in her arms. He finally calmed down as he adjusted his breathing to the rhythm of hers while listening to the soothing beat of her pulse that he could feel against her skin.

"Do you want to talk about it?" She finally asked, her voice so soft he could've taken a swim in it.

He shook his head still against her neck. "Just hold me. Please." His voice was so weak that she almost didn't hear him.

He felt her nod in acceptance and she then moved them so that they were now lying back on her bed, still in each other's arms. Her left hand was still running up and down along his back and her left one was still going through his hair. "Go back to sleep." She said before dropping a kiss at the top of his head and then leaning her cheek against it.

Barry squeezed her further against him as a reply and they tangled their legs together. It was a long time before either of them could fall asleep, but when they did, they both felt safe and protected in each other's arms.

And it was all that mattered.

* * *

 ** _A/N: I'm sorry (not really) about the jump from fluffy to angst, but I hoped you enjoyed! Tell me what you thought ;)_ **


	12. Guilt

_**A/N: So writing angst is way harder than fluff, so I hope I'm not doing too bad. I really appreciate every single one of you for reading and leaving a comment, it always makes my day and keep me going. So thank you! Hope you like this chapter ;)**_

 _ **I don't own anything :)**_

* * *

Caitlin woke up in an empty bed, which didn't surprise her but she couldn't help feeling disappointed. After Barry's nightmare, she hadn't expected him to stay long. They hadn't talked about it, but judging on the way it had affected him, Caitlin could tell that the nightmare had been an intense one. Something on the back of her mind was telling her that maybe it was related to the night they had spent together. But she quickly chased that thought away.

It had been perfect. Barry had been perfect. She had never thought two people could be so much compatible together. She had never felt anything like it. Plus, she had been able to witness first-hand how working out had shaped his body. Saying she had liked what she had found under his shirt would be an understatement. She bit her lip to keep her smile from widening at the thought. Without much success. She just wanted to cuddle back into his arms. Like right now.

A sound in the kitchen brought her out of her daydreaming. Surprised, Caitlin got out of bed, straightened Barry's shirt she had been sleeping in and padded to the other room. She found a crumpled-haired, bare-chested, tired-eyed Barry sitting at her table, waiting for the coffee to brew, his eyes staring at his hands, lost in his thoughts. What she would give to wake up every morning with this sight… Preferably right next to her in her bed.

"Hey." She whispered and he slowly lifted his head to look at her.

Barry's lips stretched themselves across his face, his smile reaching up, forming small wrinkles at the corner of his eyes. "Hi" he croaked, his voice thick from sleep and she could've sworn his eyes were glistening. Her heart fluttered at the sight and she almost felt dizzy. Then he frowned and nodded in her direction. "Is that my shirt?"

She looked down to the blue button down she was currently wearing before her eyes flew back up to his. After their nightly activities, Caitlin had quickly gone to the bathroom to get ready for sleep. On her way back, she had snatched his shirt up the floor to put it on. "Hmm no, that's mine." She replied playfully and continued as he raised an amused eyebrow. "I decided to try out a new look, what do you think? I could go to work like this right?"

Barry chuckled and his slumped shoulders shook at the same time. "You better not."

Caitlin slowly made her way to him. He looked so tired, the lack of sleep visible from the small wrinkle on his forehead. But making him smile lightened up his whole face, making her want to do everything possible to keep that smile on his lips. "And why is that?"

"Because you're not wearing any pants under _my_ shirt." He threw one arm around her thighs as soon as she was in his reach, and brought her closer to him, making her gasp in surprise. She took hold of his shoulder to avoid falling down on him and she looked down at him still sitting on a chair. She found his eyes way darker than usual. "And that's a look only _I_ am allowed to see." He groaned.

Caitlin's heart fluttered and she ran a hand through his hair. Behind his desire-darkened eyes, she could spot a hint of worry. She could tell that his nightmare was still floating on his mind. Maybe some distraction was in order. Caitlin sat down on his lap so that she would straddle his legs, snaking an arm around his neck while the other hand was still messing up his hair.

Barry let out a second groan as he gripped her waist, welcoming her in his arms. The young woman dropped kisses along his jaw and then down the column of his neck. "If you don't want me to get out wearing it, why don't you help me take it off?" She teased as she found his pulse point. She had to smirk when she felt his heart miss a beat.

She felt one hand grip her head to bring her lips to his and she had to let out a moan of contentment at the contact. Was it possible to miss the feel of someone's lips not even 5 hours after the last kiss? Caitlin would've thought the idea crazy a few days ago and now it felt perfectly normal.

She let her hands trail down his firm torso and couldn't help shivering while his had sneaked under her shirt to let his finger dance along the length of her spine. She could stay like this all day. His touch was intoxicating.

A small beep behind Barry interrupted them. "Coffee's ready." He whispered against her lips.

Caitlin stopped to catch her breath. She then gave him a soft peck before standing up and grabbing two cups to fill them. When she sat again, it was on her own chair, across from Barry. In silence, they ate a small breakfast and drank their coffee, stealing glances at each other every few seconds, blushing like teenagers every time they got caught by the other.

"Do you want to talk about last night?" She finally asked.

Barry glanced at her above his cup and raised an eyebrow. "Hmm…" He hesitated, putting his coffee back on the table. A sad shadow took over his green eyes. "Why? Do you regret it?"

Her hand shot forward to grab his. "No no no, that's not what I meant." She chewed on her lower lips as she saw him tensing up. "I was referring to your nightmare."

Barry's eyes glazed over at the mention and he shook his head, sighing and looking back down at his cup of coffee. "Please, Cait, I really don't want to talk about it."

"But you'll feel better after it, I promise." Caitlin tried to convince him, squeezing his hand.

He glared at her under his eyebrows. "Don't push it." He warned.

Her shoulders dropped down and her hand left his as some kind of protection mechanism, tensing up at Barry's tone. "But Barry, I worry about you!" She insisted with a pleading voice.

He glanced at her retreating hand with hurt eyes. "Let it go, Cait, I'll be fine."

Maybe if she tried the playful angle it would work – making him forgive her coward hand for pulling away. "Oh come on, give me something, Mr. Allen."

"… _Mr. Allen. Good-bye Mr. Allen. Good-bye Mr. Allen. Good-bye Mr. Allen. Good-bye Mr. Allen."_

Flashbacks of his nightmares were suddenly throbbing inside his head, her cold-as-ice voice resonating like a mantra he would never be able to forget.

He suddenly stood up, leaving his coffee to turn cold. "I need to drop by the office." Barry said matter-of-factly, not sparing her a single look.

"Barry, wait!" She called after him. But he didn't stop and she followed him as he made his way back to her room. Caitlin watched him as he gathered his things from the floor. She stood at the entrance of her bedroom, her hands sitting firmly on her hips, giving him a doubtful look. "Really? On a Saturday?"

Barry looked up at her after threading his belt back into the loops of his jeans. "Oh don't give me that look, I'm sure you've spent more Saturday at the lab than at home." He spat out bitterly.

"But not today…" Her voice cracked and Barry saw the hurt settling in her eyes. His behaviour killed him, but he couldn't do anything to stop himself.

He eyed the shirt she was wearing and uncomfortably ran one hand through his messy hair. There were no nice ways he could ask her for his shirt back. But he really couldn't go out shirtless. Caitlin seemed to read his mind but decided to do the opposite of helping him. She hugged herself, wrapping her arms around her middle and clutching to the fabric, slumping slightly like she was trying to protect it. "Don't even think about it." She warned.

Barry sighed, looking away. He couldn't bear watching her like that – he couldn't bear doing this to her. But it felt like he wasn't in control of his body, like the anger and the fear were taking over him. He grabbed the S.T.A.R. labs sweatshirt that was lying on her chair and slipped it on. He picked the rest of his things up and stopped next to her.

He stared into her eyes and saw her pleading back, silently asking him to stay. And he really wanted to. If only things were simpler.

" _Good-bye Mr. Allen."_

Barry shook the sound away from his head. "I have to go Cait, I'll call you later, okay?" He dropped a kiss on her forehead and was out the door not a minute after.

Caitlin felt her heavy heart drop in her chest. Why did she have to bring the nightmare up? Why couldn't she let things go their own way? Why did she have to control everything? She leaned back against her wall and slowly slid down to sit on her floor, silently sobbing in Barry shirt, clutching at the fabric as if it would bring him back into her arms. All she wanted was to wake up again and start the morning again.

* * *

Felicity startled as Barry burst through her door, an agitated look on his face.

"Felicity, I screwed up big time." He said agitatedly.

"Oh dear, what did you do again?" She sighed, leaning back on her chair.

"Wh… What?" Barry's worry was momentarily replaced by surprise.

Felicity just rolled her eyes. "Oh, don't look so surprised. You always screw something up."

"For real?" He squeaked, his high voice almost making her wince.

"But don't worry, I'm always here to fix things! So what did you do this time?"

Barry shook his head and ran a hand through his hair. "I slept with Caitlin." He breathed out.

Felicity bounced on her chair. "Oh but that's great! Good job, agent!"

His eyes went wide. "No no no no, Felicity! I _slept_ with Caitlin." He insisted, hoping she would understand the message hidden behind his round eyes and tight lips. He ignored the disgust he felt at the thought that sleeping with Caitlin meant doing a good job.

Maybe she was tired, because she didn't seem to get it. "And that's bad because…?" She trailed off with a frown.

"I liked it!" Barry admitted as if it was simultaneously the end of the world and a miracle.

Felicity snickered and gave him a wink. "Well you're a guy and she's a good looking woman, it seems perfectly normal that you enjoyed it."

Barry groaned in despair, throwing his arms in the air. "Arrg, you don't get it!"

"Pretty sure I do. You slept with Caitlin." The young IT expert stated.

He put his hands on her desk and leaned towards her. "What I meant was…" He took a deep breath; there was no going back now. "I made love to her."

Felicity's eyes and mouth went round with surprise as she finally understood what he actually meant and what was putting him in that state. "Oh boy… you're in deep trouble."

Barry groaned, momentarily closing his eyes. "Tell me something I don't know." He grumbled, pushing himself off her desk.

"When Oliver finds out…" She warned but Barry cut her off immediately.

"Oh no, you can't tell him!" He pleaded. "He'll take me off the case in a second and I can't let that happen."

Felicity raised an eyebrow at him. "You want me to lie to my husband?"

"Just hide the truth…" Barry shrugged, giving her his best innocent smile. "I really need to stay on this case, for Caitlin's sake."

The young woman shook her head in bewilderment and was about to retort when a deep voice, coming all the way from the other side of the bullpen, sipping through her opened door, interrupted their conversation. "Allen! In my office, now!"

Barry gaped at Felicity as he recognised Oliver's voice. "How does he already know?!" He shrieked.

It was Felicity's turned to shrug. "Well, there's only one way to find out. And you know how Oliver hates to be kept waiting." She added, glancing over her glasses before going back to typing on her computer.

Barry glared at her but she was already concentrating on something else. He straightened his jacket and left her office, making his way towards Oliver's. He felt his heartbeat quicken and his hands tremble from anticipation. This was probably the end on his carrier as an agent, Oliver would make sure of it. But at least maybe he would be able to go back to Caitlin without any guilt and remorse. And he would be there to protect her from Oliver's threats.

Barry stopped in front of Oliver's opened door and swiftly glanced inside. His boss was currently hunched over his desk, staring at a file. Next to him was Eddie also going through what looked like case documents. Barry momentarily forgot about his worries, his curiosity getting the best of him. They usually had their weekends off of work. Seeing Eddie in the office meant they had something serious to talk about.

Barry stepped inside the office. "You asked for me?"

Oliver glanced up. "Yes, please close the door and come take a look at this." There was no anger in his voice, no venom. So that probably meant he had no idea about what had happened between Caitlin and Barry – not that it was a big surprise – How could he have already known?

Barry followed his instructions and joined them. "What are those?" He asked, showing the case files they were looking at.

"We found new intel in the files you took from Dr. Caitlin Snow's computer. They were trickier to decipher." Oliver explained, handing a paper to Barry.

"And we now have a location." Eddie added.

Barry frowned. "For?"

"We don't know yet. But Eddie and you are going to take a look and find out."

Barry nodded at his boss and took another look at the documents he had now in his hands. He was sending them in the middle of nowhere. "And what are we supposed to be looking for?"

"Anything suspicious."

Barry and Eddie shared an unsure glance. Oliver usually didn't waste his operatives' time on bogus information. "How do you know we're going to find something interesting?"

Oliver looked intently at Barry before answering to his question. "Well, your doctor seemed to think this location was pretty important or she wouldn't have put such security codes on it. It took some times for our IT department to crack it."

"Really? Dr. Snow didn't seem like the type of woman to code." Eddie commented.

"And she isn't." Barry replied, looking back at the document as if this new information would show them under a different light. "It's probably Cisco's work." He added after a short moment.

"That's not our problem right now." Oliver pushed the comment aside with a movement of hand. "Go there and bring me something I can work with."

Both agents nodded and left the room without saying another word, making their ways towards the elevator.

The deeper Barry went, the less he understood.


	13. The Echo In The Warehouse

_**A/N: Here's the new chapter with a bit more action than usual and some Eddie/Barry partnership ;) Thanks again everyone for the reviews, the favourites and the following, it means the world to me! Hope you like this chapter :D  
**_

 _ **I don't own anything ;)**_

* * *

Their car pulled up in front of a huge warehouse that looked pretty much abandoned. They were in the middle of nowhere, thirty minutes away from Central City, no sign of a single human being around.

Barry bowed forward in the passenger seat to take a better look at the building through the windshield of their car. "You're sure it's here?"

Eddie took the keys out of the ignition and shrugged. "Well the GPS says so." He grumbled at the message that the device displayed: _'You have reached your destination!'_ They had driven in circles for a good twenty minutes, not finding the way even with the technology available. Finally, Eddie had spotted the Warehouse from a distance and had cursed the GPS that had insisted that they had to take a U-Turn as soon as possible – every 3 minutes.

Carefully, he stepped out of the car, soon followed by his partner. Both of them checked around if anything would catch their attention, but there was nothing aside from a deadly silence. "What is this place?" Eddie whispered as Barry joined him in front of their car.

"I have absolutely no idea, but it gives me the creeps." Barry mumbled, a chill running up his spine.

"Same here."

They shared a cautious glance before Eddie nodded towards the abandoned building.

Slowly, both agents made their way towards the small door blended in the warehouse's facade, almost invisible to someone not paying attention. Eddie placed himself against the wall, putting his hand on the door handle before glancing behind him, making sure that Barry was in position. They both took their guns and flashlights out, ready to shoot if necessary. Barry nodded in his partner's direction and Eddie cautiously pushed on the handle.

A greasy sound echoed inside the warehouse followed by the grating of the door. Eddie pushed it opened with his foot and swiftly went inside, his gun drawn in front of him, the small ray of light from his flashlight guiding him. Barry was attached to his hip, checking his blind spot. They were both really tense and aware of every sound surrounding them, so much that the silence seemed to be noisy.

Together, they navigated in the empty warehouse, checking every angle and every crease to make sure they were alone. The flashlights were reverberating on every dust particle indicating that the place hadn't been regularly used in some time.

"Clear." Eddie's voice echoed in the vast space when he finished pacing around the place.

"Clear." Barry repeated and they both put away their weapons.

The whole warehouse was almost empty, aside from spider webs, some barrels and wooden crates. "There isn't much here." Eddie commented as they returned towards the entrance. He ran one finger on a box and made a disgusted face as he realised he had just gathered all the dust, that had been piling up there for god knows how long, on his finger.

Barry chuckled before making his way towards a crate to check if there was anything in it. It was hermetically closed and Barry felt around to see if there were any easy openings to it. He huffed in annoyance when he didn't find any. "There has to be something here. Otherwise why would Caitlin protect this location?"

"Just for fun?" Eddie suggested with a shrug.

Barry made a face, not convinced. "She's not that kind of person, she wouldn't waste her time to do that. But I also can't imagine her doing anything illegal, even less being related to a place like this." He remarked as his shoulders slumped down a little. "Maybe I don't know her as well as I thought." He whispered to himself.

He shook his head to snap back into focus and continued his search knocking on the wood, checking if it sounded filled or empty. If his hearing was correct, the box seemed empty.

The blond man smirked and took his cellphone out. "I'm going to call Oliver, tell him there's nothing here."

"What?" Barry's head shot up, gaping at his partner. "No, we should look further or he'll have my head off." He squeaked.

Eddie raised an eyebrow in his direction but before he could ask for some explanation, Barry had already changed barrels, going on his knees to find something… anything really. But this one seemed empty too. Eddie shook his head and put his phone away, deciding to help his partner.

They spent about 10 minutes checking every crate, every box, every barrel but came up empty. They had to be missing something, right? Barry could feel it, like it was in front of his nose but for some unknown reason he couldn't reach it. It was getting on his nerves.

"Well, at least we got to see some landscape on the way here. Doesn't happen every day." Eddie joked as he took his cell phone again, trying to soothe Barry's irritation.

Barry groaned and sat on the crate behind him. He glanced at his partner that seemed to be searching for some cell signal, his hand in the air, navigating blindly in the warehouse, almost tripping on some metallic bar lying on the ground. Barry was chuckling at his behaviour when a ray of sunshine caught his attention. He frowned, not remembering seeing any windows in the building.

The young man looked up at the ceiling, trying to spot the sun's point of entry. Putting weight on his hands, Barry stretched up, crooking his neck in an uncomfortable position, leaning slightly back to catch the light with his eyes. He hummed in satisfaction when he found the small hole in one corner of the ceiling. Somehow – maybe it was because he had released his tensed muscles or because he had finally let out the breath he had been keeping inside – after finding the source of light, Barry totally lost his balance.

He let out a small squeal as he fell on his back; leaning completely on the crate he had been sitting on, his head hitting the one next to it. But the worse wasn't falling back on a dusty piece of wood. It was that said piece of wood began moving under the pressure of the length of his body. Barry jumped away from the crate and witnessed as both boxes' covers moved to the left, revealing their inside.

Eddie, who had ran, with his gun drawn out, towards his partner at his sound of distress, looked agape at what was happening. "What the hell?"

When the lids stopped moving, both agents cautiously bent forward to take a look inside the boxes. As soon as they understood what it was, they swiftly took a step back with a hiss, coming closer together. "Is that a dead body?" Barry whispered, in fear that the content would hear him.

"I think a skeleton would be the more appropriate word but yeah… that's a dead body."

Barry momentarily forgot the gravity of the situation to swiftly glare at his partner before bringing his attention back to the content of the two crates. Now that he was paying more attention to them opened _together_ side by side, he could see that they were kind of forming a coffin. And inside was a skeleton with what he guessed were some remains of human tissues still sticking on it.

Eddie put his gun away. "I'll call it in, if I find some bloody cell reception!"

Barry approached the skeleton of what he assumed had been a tall man. Or woman, he couldn't really tell. An uneasy chill ran up the whole length of his body and a scowl took place on his face. He had been lying down above _that_. Behind him, he heard a small yelp of victory when Eddie found enough cell signal to dial Felicity's number.

That's the exact moment when they heard shots ringing across the warehouse, making both of them jump in surprise and crawl down onto their knees.

"Damn it!" Barry cursed as they hid behind the makeshift coffin, guns drawn out thanks to their perfect reflexes. His back to the box, Barry placed himself at the edge, keeping his gun close to his face, ready to retaliate at the next gunshot.

"I thought the place was clear." Eddie grumbled next to him, his gun in one hand and his phone in the other.

"Yeah so did I, but apparently not." Barry groused back.

After a short pause, the shots started again. They both positioned themselves so that each had the other's back. They stayed still while the shots kept ringing in the warehouse.

Finally they stopped and the silence was broken by a woman's voice. "Guys?"

"Ssshh!" Both agents hissed to Eddie's phone, where Felicity had finally answered their call.

"What's going on?" Felicity whispered back.

Before they could answer, three shots cut through the air, resonating against the warehouse's walls. The survival instinct taking over, Barry's head sank down between his shoulders, his hands flying up to shield his face as if it would protect him from any lost bullet.

"Send back up. Now!" Eddie groaned to his phone.

Barry didn't wait to hear her answer. They needed to act now if they wanted to get out of here alive. "Cover me, I'll try to distract them." He requested when the shots stopped, crouching down on himself.

Eddie nodded and turned around, placing himself at the edge of the crate, aiming his gun in the direction of their assailant. He pulled the trigger a few times to intimidate them, giving Barry the time to jump on the side and run, hunched over, his gun drawn in front of him.

"Back up is on its way!" He heard Felicity whisper from behind him.

Barry went straight to the opposite wall. The offensive shots came from a high place, except he couldn't see any stairs. Eddie's shots stopped and the offensive one started anew, just above his head, but still aiming at Eddie. He had to get up there to stop them.

Barry walked along the wall, searching for any grip. He finally found a pipe going up. Barry put his gun back into its holster, gripped at the pipe and started his ascent. It didn't take him long to reach the top, allowing him to clutch at the edge of the floor. The shots came from somewhere at his left. Barry prepared himself to jump up on the platform when the assailant would be distracted enough to take them by surprise.

Eddie spotted his partner hanging from somewhere on the wall, and – thanks to years of training and being partners – he immediately understood the plan. He took a deep breath and as soon as the shots stopped, Eddie stood up and emptied his gun far away from his partner, giving Barry the time to lift himself up on the platform and knock out the man taking cover from Eddie's shots. He didn't see Barry coming. The blow to his head was a total surprise.

Barry checked that his assailant was actually unconscious before calling out for Eddie. "He's out." He shouted.

Maybe he should have checked before shouting in an empty warehouse. From somewhere behind him, another aggressor jumped on Barry, tackling him to the ground. Barry huffed at the impact, all air leaving his lungs. He tried to get the man off his back with an elbow strike, but his assailant was bigger and stronger. Barry received a fist in his face, making him spurt blood. He tried to push him away, struggling to take control without success.

Fortunately, before the next impact could hit him, Eddie came from behind them, his gun drawn in front of him. "Let me see your hands." He shouted.

The assailant had absolutely no intention of doing as asked. He aimed his own gun in Eddie's direction, shooting haphazardly, making Eddie duck out of the way. The distraction gave the assailant enough time to run for his life.

When Eddie looked up, the man was gone. Without giving it more importance, Eddie joined Barry, checking if everything was alright. Except from a cut lip and a bruised ego, Barry was fine. They cuffed the unconscious stranger that Barry had first knocked out and finally paused to take a breath. It had really taken them by surprise.

"What the hell was that?!" Barry grunted, wiping the blood off his lips with his shirtsleeve.

Eddie shrugged and sat down next to his partner, releasing the tension that had been building up in their bodies. At that point, they thought nothing could surprise them anymore. They were wrong.

A few moments later, they heard the cavalry arrive, shotguns drawn, flashlights blinding them, voices shouting in their direction, telling them to stop moving. Both agents put their hands in the air, showing they were harmless.

John Diggle, at the head of the armed men, lowered his gun, gestured to his men to hold fire and approached them. "What happened?"

"You're too late." Barry huffed in exasperation. "We only got one guy. The other escaped."

John nodded in understanding. "We spotted a car leaving the premises when we arrived. I've got one team following it." He glanced around the warehouse then back at his friends. "So, what's up?"

So they explained everything, showing the dead body. After further inspection, they found a second makeshift coffin with another body and also another entrance to the warehouse, opening directly on the 1st floor where their assailants had probably entered the premises. Eddie and Barry felt a incompetent for missing it in the first place. With the help of his men, Diggle transferred both dead bodies in their SUVs, as well as the unconscious assailant and the rest of the crates to examine them.

"What's going to happen now?" Barry asked his partner with a wince as an EMT was checking his lip and cheek.

"Well that guy is going straight into an interrogation room." Eddie explained, pointing to the unconscious man lying on a stretcher. "And both bodies will get examined by an forensic pathologist."

Barry nodded, thanking the EMT that had finished his check-up. "I know that. But where does that leave us?"

Eddie shrugged. "Well, first I need a good shower. Second, I need a big Iris-hug." A small smile stretched itself on the blond man's features at the thought of his girlfriend. "I suggest you do the same."

Barry chuckled. "You want me to get a 'big Iris-hug'?" He teased, making air quotes with his hands.

Eddie glared at him. "You know what I mean. Go home. Get some rest. Our job is done here. We'll hear back from the lab when they find something." He gave Barry a small tap on his shoulder, winking at him, before walking towards their car.

Barry nodded as he slowly followed his partner. Eddie was right. Barry was drained from energy and still sore from all the action. He really needed some rest. But he didn't want to go to his empty and cold apartment. But he did want to get home. His breath caught as he realised what he actually considered being his home. It wasn't a place, it wasn't a city, it wasn't a room…

It was Caitlin's arms.


	14. Apologies

_**A/N: Okay, so this is probably the longest chapter I've ever written and it's just plain Snowbarry (I'm making up for the lack of Caitlin in the previous chapter). So enjoy and tell me what you thought about it! ;)**_

 _ **I don't own anything :)**_

* * *

Barry had been standing in front of Caitlin's apartment door for the past 10 minutes, not doing anything except thinking about what he would tell her. His whole body felt heavy from guilt and weariness – still sore form the warehouse action. He had stopped by his place to shower and change – somehow he didn't think she would appreciate him coming with a bloody shirt. He was sick of this whole game that his job was asking him to do. But he had no choice and absolutely no control over the things that were happening to him. He felt like he was someone else, watching his life on a TV screen, trying to guess what would happen next.

Finally, he found the courage to lift his hand – which seemed way too heavy – to knock on her door. After a short moment of silence, he heard naked feet padding across her wooden floor on the other side of the door. When it opened, his breath caught at the sight of her face. Her hair was up in a messy bun, a lock falling right in front of her red and tired eyes, her perfect eyebrows forming a deep frown, her lower lip caught between her teeth. Caitlin looked at him in silence, waiting for him to say something.

Barry buried his hands in his pockets, rocked on the ball of his feet and cleared his throat. "Listen, I know I was a jerk…"

"No kidding…" She cut him off drily before he could apologise. Caitlin turned around and went back into the apartment, leaving the front door open.

Barry took a deep breath, his shoulders slumping down as he followed her, closing the door behind him. Letting him inside was probably a sign that Caitlin was willing to forgive him, if he played his cards right. Or she would've slammed the door on his face, leaving him in the corridor.

She settled against her table, crossing her arms on her chest, taking a defensive pose. Barry bought himself some time, taking his jacket off and putting it on the arm of her couch. He looked up at her, trying to ignore how good she looked when she was pissed off – which was a lot harder then he thought. "But I'm really sorry, I don't know what came over me…" He cautiously continued – ignoring the urge he had to just cross the room and take her in his arms.

"Well a simple excuse won't cut it, Barry!" She spat out, angrily. "Do you have any idea how I felt after you left this morning?!" She threw her arms in the air. "And the whole day, waiting for a small sign that you… that _we_ were okay?!"

Guilt submerged him, making him look down at his feet. He felt like dread was taking over him. "I'm really sorry, but something came up at work and I got stuck there. I wanted to come back earlier." He mumbled, still not looking at her, the patterns on her wooden floor way more interesting. And less frightening.

"Yeah right…" He could practically hear Caitlin roll her eyes in exasperation.

His eyes flew up to hers. "What is _that_ supposed to mean?!" Without any control, his voice got angrier, like his macho ego was taking over. "I'm not lying about that!"

Her eyes went round. " _About that_?! So you are lying about something!" Her eyes narrowed, her voice was harder and an almost satisfied grin appeared on her lips.

It was almost like he didn't recognise her. Or himself. What was happening to them?

"Wait… What?! No no no… nooo…" He rambled, trying to gather his wits back.

Caitlin shook her head. "Yes, that's what I was thinking…" She huffed, her shoulders slumping down in defeat. "You know what, Barry?! I'm sick of this!" She added with a firm but strained voice.

Barry felt like all his muscles were contracted all of a sudden, his whole body tense and as hard as a wooden plank. His throat was completely dry but somehow he managed to croak: "What do you mean?"

He saw her lower lip quiver before she started speaking with a shaky voice. "All this time, I thought I was the one who needed time to open up, the one keeping us from moving further." She paused to take a deep breath, slightly pinching the bridge of her nose between her fingers. Barry waited for her to continue, not breathing, in fear of setting her off. "But it's actually you that is slowing down the pace. I've done nothing but being more open with you – I freaking introduced you to my parents, Barry! If that's not opening up, then I don't know what is… But none of this matters if you keep shutting me out, Barry! You act like everything is fine, but I can see that something is eating you inside."

Her watery eyes tried to search some answers on his features without any success. Barry itched to take her in his arms, to feel safe again. Because, right now, he felt like he was standing on shaky grounds. He was almost expecting the floor to crumble under his feet at any moment and that he would fall down into an abyss.

Something in the way she cocked her head to the side, scrunching the skin between her eyebrows, made him surrender. "It has something to do with my job…" Barry finally admitted, nervously playing with his hands. "But I can't really talk about it and I think you can relate to that." He glanced up at her understanding and loving face – any trace of anger slowly replaced by compassion – before looking back down at his hands. "I really want to tell you about it, I really do! But that would probably get fired…" He trailed off. _'And put you in danger'_ he wanted to add, but couldn't.

Caitlin pushed herself off the table and came closer to him. "And the nightmare? Also job related?"

Barry closed his eyes, concentrating on her soothing voice, every inch of anger in it completely gone. "No." He croaked; his throat caged up with emotions. "Kind of… Not exactly… It was about you." A wet drop fell on his hands and he realised he was crying. Angrily, he chased the tears away with the back of his hand, still not opening his eyes. "You were dying. I lost you. I couldn't do anything to save you and it was all my fault in the first place."

Even if he didn't see anything, Barry felt Caitlin come even closer than before, her delicate hand cautiously cupping his chin to lift his face towards hers. He couldn't help but open his eyes as a soft "Hey" came out from between her lips. Meeting her eyes was like activating a protective shield around them, like a safety fog was enveloping them, creating their own bubble. He couldn't look away even if he'd wanted to – he was like trapped by her enchantment.

"I'm here, I'm not going anywhere." She whispered, her fingers slowly running along his jaw. It was simple and soft and enough to make his knees go weak.

Barry's lower lip was trembling from his nightmare-remaining fear, his heart almost beating out of his chest. "But you don't know the whole truth." He muttered, afraid to scare her away.

"I don't need it right now. I just need you… to be with me…" Caitlin's voice was barely a whisper, but Barry heard it loud and clear as if she had shouted it. Her statement acted like a lever on a dam, releasing all the tension from his body. What had he done to deserve someone like her?

A second later Caitlin was engulfed in his strong arms. She sneaked her arms around his waist, her hands resting on his back, keeping him close to her.

And he felt home again.

* * *

"Do you own a suit?"

They were both sitting at her dinning table; having just finished eating the home-cooked dinner Caitlin had prepared for them. Barry's hand was across the table, keeping Caitlin's hand in his. He couldn't seem able to let go of her in the past few hours since their long talk. He felt like if he stopped touching her, she would disappear, or he would wake up from a dream.

They had been sitting in a comfortable silence when she had asked her question.

He met her eyes and raised an eyebrow. "What?"

Caitlin chuckled and squeezed his hand playfully. "You heard me, knucklehead. Do you own a suit?"

Barry frowned. "Yes…" He replied carefully, as if he was afraid of falling into a trap.

Caitlin nodded pensively and slightly bit her lower lip. "A nice suit?"

He really didn't see where this conversation was coming from and where it was going. "Who do you take me for?" He asked, almost offended by her question.

"I'm just making sure…" She trailed off, shrugging her shoulder. She stood up to gather up the dishes before making her way towards her kitchen.

Barry grabbed the things left on the table and followed her. "Why are you asking me that?"

Caitlin was already standing in front of her sink, cleaning the dishes. She looked over her shoulder and nodded in direction of her counter. "There's a blue letter there."

Barry put what he had in his hand next to her and went to the counter. The blue letter was lying on top of a stack of scientific articles. Carefully, he took the letter and glanced back at Caitlin. "Open it."

He hesitated for a moment before unfolding the letter. It revealed a beautiful calligraphic written invitation. An invitation to the S.T.A.R. Labs annual Gala. He felt his heartbeat raising while he read it. What did all of this mean? Did he have an opportunity to go inside S.T.A.R. labs? Should he exploit it?

He almost jumped when he felt Caitlin's hand on his arm. "Barry? You okay?" She looked worriedly in his eyes.

He cleared his throat and gave her a soft smile. "Yes, you just surprised me." How long had he been standing there, staring at the letter? Obviously more time than he had expected, since Caitlin had cleaned everything up in the meantime.

Caitlin's hand rose to his neck as she came closer to him, laying her head on his shoulder, his left arm falling to her waist. "I received this last week and wasn't sure if I wanted to go yet. Going there alone can get quite boring." She explained. She paused, taking a deep breath, leaning further against him. "Do you want to go with me?" She whispered without looking at him.

He momentarily closed his eyes, imagining Caitlin all dressed up, waiting for him on the dance floor. Barry was pretty sure she would be the most beautiful woman in the room and that he wouldn't be able to take his eyes off of her. Caitlin's hand on his chest brought him out of his daydreaming. "I would love to." He replied as softly as her. "But don't you think a tux would be more appropriate than a suit, even a nice one?"

Caitlin bit her lip at the thought of seeing Barry in a tuxedo. "Definitely" she murmured with a smile.

They stayed like that for a minute, before Caitlin pulled away, giving a soft tap on his chest. "Well, it's a date then." She threw over her shoulder while grabbing her glass of wine and making her way towards her living room.

Barry let out a shaky breath, his heart fluttering. They were still standing on rocky grounds, tiptoeing around each other, still sore from the fight they had. The fact that she considered it a date, made him think that there was still hope for the both of them.

Barry ran a hand through his hair before straightening his shirt and following her with his own glass. He found her sitting on her couch, her head laying back, her eyes closed and a soft smile floating on her face as she listened to some music. He stopped for a moment, admiring the view. She hadn't an ounce of makeup, she was wearing lazy clothes and her hair was messy. But she was simply breathtaking without even trying.

Caitlin opened her eyes when she felt the couch dip next to her as Barry sat down. She sweetly smiled at him and laid her head on his shoulder as his arm rested along the back of the couch. Without speaking, they enjoyed the soft jazz playing in the background, sipping their wine from time to time, his hand playing with her hair and hers running along his chest.

"Can I ask you something?" Barry finally whispered cautiously, scared to break the peaceful bubble around them. He continued after feeling Caitlin nod against him. "Why did you forgive me?"

Caitlin sat up, slightly turning to face him with a frown. "What do you mean?"

Barry took both their glasses to put them away on her coffee table, buying himself time to think about what he was about to say. "Well, obviously I'm not completely truthful with you. Yet you let me stay here and cuddle with me… You even ask me to go to a formal gala with you… Not that I mind, believe me! I'm really happy about it… But why?" He explained as he settled back on the couch, ignoring the way his voice was stuttering.

Caitlin seemed to contemplate her answer for a moment, her teeth worrying her lower lip and her hands nervously fumbling with her sweatshirt. She took a deep breath before explaining herself. "Because, while I know that you're not being 100% truthful with me, I can also see it's killing you to keep things from me. Which tells me that it is beyond your control. And I also know that when you're ready, you'll tell me what's going on." She met his eyes and shrugged. He loved the way she said 'when' and not 'if'. "And it might surprise you, but it makes things clearer. Life is messy. It isn't all black and white. But you are more white than black for me. So why screw things that are the most light in our lives?"

He shook his head in amazement and whispered, "God, you're amazing!"

"I have my days…" She shrugged innocently, a teasing smile on her lips making him chuckle. And then she cocked one eyebrow. "By the way, are we going to talk about that cut lip of yours and that nasty bruise on your cheek?"

Barry gaped at her. He had completely forgotten about that. He had prepared an explanation but since she hadn't brought it up, he hadn't considered it important. He cleared his throat. "Hmm… Well we had a crime scene to examine this afternoon. At one moment I was alone and the next, some guy jumped at me and introduced his fist to my face." Caitlin let out a gasp of surprise; worry crinkling her eyes. "He had been hiding at the crime scene and made a run for it when I was defenceless. But I'm okay. it's nothing serious. It comes with the job." Barry shrugged. It technically wasn't a lie.

"Okay." She nodded. "Well let me know if you need me to attend to your wounds." Caitlin smirked, making his heart flutter. Again.

Barry nodded silently and threw an arm around her shoulder to bring her back against him, laying her head back on his chest. His arms tightened around her frame. There was really no way he would let her go now. He was truly falling head over heels for her. Every moment spent with her made him realise how amazing she was.

"Soo…" She trailed off after a few minutes of silence. "Last night was…"

"Amazing." Barry breathed out.

Caitlin lifted her head from his chest to look up at him, one eyebrow raised playfully. He grinned awkwardly back at her, realising how fast he had interrupted her sentence, the need to express how he felt about that night too powerful to fight against. Her eyes flitted down to his lips before meeting his eyes again. Very, very slowly, Caitlin pushed herself forward, one hand going to his cheek, hovering carefully over his bruise, her thumb grazing the slight stubble on his jaw. Barry couldn't do anything but watch her approach, mesmerised by her beauty and softness, his heart going way too fast for his own wellbeing.

Finally, their lips met and Barry felt fireworks explode in his stomach. It seemed like an eternity since the last time they had kissed and not a whole day. He had missed the feel of her lips against his so much it felt unreal. He did feel a slight sting as her teeth inadvertently grazed against the cut on his lower lip, but it was totally worth it as, a moment later, Caitlin let her tongue swipe across his wound as an apology, soothing the pain, replacing it with desire. His grip on her waist tightened as she deepened the kiss. He groaned in approval and guided her towards him so that she could straddle his legs. They pulled away to catch their breaths and Caitlin's lips went down the column of his neck, kissing his fluttering pulse point.

"Let's go to the bedroom." She whispered against his skin and Barry nodded furiously. He had absolutely no idea how she was still able to speak. He frowned when she pulled away, encasing his face between her hands, keeping it at distance from hers and looking straight into his eyes. "But on one condition." She said very seriously.

Barry's heart missed a beat. He gave her a shy nod for her to continue, not trusting himself to say anything.

Caitlin seemed to think about her words, a soft crease forming between her eyebrows. "You won't flee my apartment tomorrow morning. Or I swear you'll regret it." She warned.

He let out the breath he had been holding in relief and chuckled. "Yes ma'am."

That grin of his would be the death of her, she was sure of it. But at least it would be a beautiful and peaceful death. Without a word, she stood up, grabbed his hand and led him to her bedroom.

As they both fell on her bed, half of their clothes already lost somewhere on the way, Barry said something that made her heart burst, her breathing uneven and her eyes water.

"You were right. Life isn't all black and white. It's a beautiful rainbow of colours with you in it."

She crashed her lips against his and they didn't talk for a few hours.


	15. Surprise

_**A/N: Okay, so I know you guys are anxious for Barry to tell Caitlin the truth, but don't worry, it's coming. I've got everything carefully planned and I just need to put everything in place. And I really hope you like what I have in mind :) Anyway, here goes the new chapter! Enjoy :D**_

 _ **I don't own anything ;)**_

* * *

"Okay, so we have some new top device coming in from Palmer Tech just for you."

Barry raised an eyebrow questioningly as Felicity entered her office, her high heels clicking loudly on the ground and handed him a small box. He sat straighter in the chair and opened it. Inside were a barely visible earpiece, microphone and camera.

"These are brand new. They are made of a particular substance that is undetectable by metal detectors." Felicity explained and Barry made an impressed face as she sat down behind her desk. "And they are so tiny that nobody will be able to notice them as you wear them. Because with the short messy hair you've got going on here," she gestured to his hair with a doubtful smirk, "your date would spot a normal earpiece from a mile away."

Barry patted his hair self-consciously. He loved his haircut. Even more since that time Caitlin had told him how she felt about it. It had been simple, really. He wasn't even sure Caitlin had been consciously declaring her love to them. But he had understood the message loud and clear: he shouldn't mess with his current haircut. They had been lying in bed, limbs tangled together and her hands had been buried in his hair – like most of the time when they were cuddling. He had been humming in contentment while she had softly rubbed her nose against his, gazing deep into his eyes. "It feels like your hair has been made for my hands to mess with it." She had grinned at him before kissing him deeply, her hands still toying with his hair to his utmost pleasure.

"Anyway," Felicity continued, standing up again, oblivious to Barry's mind-wandering, "with that, we'll be able to follow you around inside S.T.A.R. labs during the annual Gala. Don't worry! I'll let you have fun. I'm just here to have your back." She explained as she saw him frown.

"How are you going to do that?" Barry finally asked.

"Well we have a team that has been working on hacking the S.T.A.R. labs' security system since the beginning of this case. And they finally found a crack in their armour." She hopped excitedly on her feet, proud of their work. "So I'll have access to the security videos. I won't have any sound except coming from you though."

Eddie entered her office at that precise moment and whistled as he looked at the small technology Barry had in his hands. "Why don't I get toys like these?" The blond man complained playfully.

"Well, you're not the one going undercover for this mission, mister." Felicity greeted him big a big smile.

Eddie shrugged. "Yeah, about that, I'm way better looking than Barry. Why didn't you guys choose me for the job?"

"That's because blond guys aren't Caitlin's type." Barry teased him with a wink and Eddie just chuckled. They all knew Eddie was joking. Ever since he began dating Iris, he had requested to be left out of the kind of missions that could jeopardise his relationship. And they had respected that.

Felicity continued explaining the plan to them and Barry just listened with one ear, his mind wondering about the 'what if's'. If Eddie had been the one going undercover, he would be the one dating Caitlin right now. Maybe he would be the one falling in love with her. Maybe Barry would still be the agent so sure of himself that nothing could stop him. Maybe he would still have complete faith in his job. Maybe his mind would be at ease. But one thing was sure: he wouldn't give anything back, if it meant he wouldn't know Caitlin like he did now.

"By the way, we got the results back from the lab." Eddie finally explained his presence in Felicity's office.

Barry's eyes flew to his partner in curiosity. "Really? What do you have?"

"Well, the forensic pathologist found a match for both bodies in our database. It seems like we found the remains of a certain Dr. Harrison Wells and a Dr. Jay Garrick."

A loud gasp tumbled down from Barry's lips. "That's not possible, they are still alive. I even met Jay. Did the lab do a double check?"

Eddie nodded. "Even a triple one. They always get the same result." He handed him two files and Barry took a glance inside.

He found the identity description of both persons. While Dr. Wells' files seemed to match with what Barry knew about him, Jay's was accompanied with a photo that didn't match with the Jay Barry had met at the ice skating ring. "That's not Jay." He commented. "Well, at least not the one I know." He pointed to the description going with the photo. "That guy is a plastic surgeon." He remarked as he continued reading the file. "Caitlin told me that he specialised in Chemistry and Physics. She would've told me if he was a doctor."

Felicity glanced at the files over Barry's shoulder. "What does that all mean? Who's the guy working with Dr. Snow?"

"We have no idea." Eddie shrugged. "I guess Oliver wants Barry to find out when he goes to S.T.A.R. labs next weekend."

Felicity nodded and went back to sit at her computer, launching a search protocol to find information's about Jay Garrick.

"And what's the deal with Dr. Wells?" Barry commented. "If the dead guy is Harrison, who is working at the head of S.T.A.R. labs?"

Eddie tapped his index against his lips, considering what he was about to say. "Well I have my theory." He finally shared his thoughts. "Remember the Patient X? The plastic surgery patient?" Eddie asked. Barry nodded and his partner continued explaining his theory. "What if Jay, the plastic surgeon, did a surgery on Patient X and got killed for it?"

Barry and Felicity stayed silent, considering Eddie's speculations for a moment. It could be possible – they had seen crazier things in life. But it still seemed like a long way to go. What was the endgame in all of this? They were progressively getting answers, but they were still missing vital pieces of the puzzle to see the big picture.

His ring tone interrupted them. Barry grabbed his phone from his pocket and answered with a frown when he saw that it was Joe, his adoptive father, that was calling him.

"Hey Joe, what's up?"

"We've got a problem, Bar." Joe replied very seriously.

"What's going on?" Barry asked worriedly. Felicity and Eddie glanced at him in concern.

"Your girlfriend is here." Joe whispered in the phone.

"What? Where?" Barry squeaked.

" _Here!_ At the CCPD station!" Joe hissed back.

Barry thought his heart was about to stop right there, right now. What was Caitlin doing at the CCPD station in the middle of a workday? She had told him the evening before on the phone that she would have a busy day.

"You're lucky I was here." Joe continued when Barry didn't answer back. "I told her that you were out examining a crime scene but that you'll be back soon. So get your ass over here."

Barry nodded and mumbled: "I'll be right there", when he realised that Joe couldn't actually see him nod. He quickly excused himself from his friends and ran to the basement to take his motorbike and drive towards the CCPD station.

His heart was beating way too fast for his own good when he arrived. He hadn't even thought about his game plan for that situation. He had never thought it would actually happen. Caitlin had never mentioned dropping by the station. Most of all unannounced. He was absolutely not mentally prepared for this. Like pretty much everything concerning the beautiful doctor. She was just always surprising him.

Barry took a deep breath as he pulled the entrance door open and stepped inside the station. He had been here more than a few times to visit detective Joe West. But he had never had to pretend working there. He waited patiently for the elevator with a few strangers, including a cop bringing a strange looking perp in. Barry shook his head and tried to ignore the mischievous grin – all teeth out – the handcuffed man was giving him. Together, they all stepped into the moving cabin as it arrived and a few moments later Barry stepped out, spotting Joe as soon as he sat foot on his floor.

Joe hurried towards him. "Thank god you're here. I didn't know what to do to entertain her." He said agitatedly.

Barry momentarily forgot his worries and chuckled. "She's a grown woman, you know? She doesn't need to be _entertained_ every second."

Joe rolled his eyes. "I know that, Bar. But I felt really awkward, so I pretended I had something to do for work."

Barry nodded. "Where is she right now?"

"She's at my desk." Joe gestured in direction of the bullpen. "You're lucky I work here, or she would've had a bad surprise realising you don't actually work here."

Joe was right – he had been lucky this time. The detective was the only person aside from his colleagues that knew about his real job. If it hadn't been for him, Caitlin would have had a nasty surprise welcoming her. Barry winced at the thought. If Caitlin were to find out about him, he wanted to be the one to tell her. Everything would be worse if she found out from herself. For what seemed like the hundredth time, Barry took a deep breath, squared his shoulders and made his way to Joe's desk. The detective gave him an encouraging tap on the back before doing his business elsewhere.

Barry spotted Caitlin before she did. His breath caught and he took a moment to appreciate the view. She was sitting straight on Joe's chair, looking around her as if discovering a brand new environment – which was probably the case. Her eyes were almost shining and a small crease between her eyebrows made her look like she was deciphering a new formula. And then her eyes fell upon him, a small grin appearing on her features as soon as she recognised him. His heart fluttered at her smile.

He had it bad.

Barry smiled back and made his way towards her. She put her bag on Joe's desk as she stood up to greet him. "Hi." She whispered almost out of breath as soon as he was at ear reach.

"What are you doing here?" He asked before diving in for a short hug. His voice was a little higher than what he would've liked.

Caitlin pulled back and shrugged. "I wanted to surprise you."

"Well done!" Barry laughed nervously but Caitlin didn't seem to notice.

"I've got another surprise." She continued, almost bouncing on her feet.

"For real?" He squeaked but found her behaviour endearing anyway.

Caitlin nodded furiously and turned to grab something in her handbag. Barry rubbed a hand on his chest to release some tension and gave her his best-relaxed face as she turned back towards him. She handed him a small square box wrapped inside gift paper and Barry had the most awkward déjà-vu. He would run for his life if there were an earpiece, a microphone and a camera in the box.

Barry frowned as he carefully took the packet and unwrapped it under her curious stare. As he opened the box, he discovered a beautiful silky red bow tie. He stared at it wordlessly, agape. She really did know how to surprise him. He hadn't expected that.

"So? Do you like it?" She questioned, her teeth slightly worrying her lower lip in anticipation. The action momentarily distracted Barry. He realised he knew her well enough to distinguish the different lip-biting she made. The one when something was bothering her, the one when she was worried or nervous, and, his favourite one, when she was turned on. He could probably distinguish her different frown too. He knew her so well that the mere thought of it made him happy.

"Barry?" She called him out with a worried frown, suddenly unsure of her gift.

The young man cleared his throat as he glanced down at the bow tie again. "I love it." He croaked sincerely.

This time, she actually bounced on her feet and his eyes flew up to her beaming face, making small wrinkles appear right next to her eyes. "Good, because that's what you're wearing to the S.T.A.R. labs' gala."

"And why is that?" He laughed lightly, her excitement being contagious.

"I'm not telling." Her right eyebrow disappeared under her hair and she gave him a cheeky smile.

"Oh, I don't have a choice, do I?" Barry teased back with a pout.

"Nope." Caitlin shook her head with closed eyes and he had to chuckle at how cute she was right now. He hadn't Dr. Caitlin Snow in front of him, but Cait – the girl he was falling in love with.

"Then I guess that's what I'm wearing." He conceded, softly raising a hand to her face to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear, making her eyes flutter open again. She grinned up at him before going up on her tiptoes to press her lips to his. His hand on her cheek wandered behind her neck and the other went to her waist, balancing the small box between his thumb and index, to press her further into him as she clutched at his shirt, pulling him to her. The kiss deepened further and Barry tried to force himself to pull back, but he just couldn't. Her pull was way too strong.

There was a small whistle in his back – he thought hearing a teasing _'Get a room'_ too, but maybe it was his imagination – and Caitlin sprang away, blushing furiously, her hand flying up to her lips. Barry let out a small laugh. She had obviously surprised herself by letting her kiss go so far in a pubic place. But her other hand had still a firm grip on his shirt and Barry couldn't bring himself to regret it.

Caitlin giggled and finally let go of him after straightening his shirt. Her blush decreased, but her cheeks were still a shade redder than usual. "So… I met your dad." She finally said, changing the subject.

Barry gaped, yet again, totally not expecting that line of conversation. "Oh. Right… I hope he behaved."

Caitlin nodded with a small smile. "He did. Though I think I took him a bit by surprise."

"Yeah, I think you did." Barry chuckled.

"You should've seen his face when I asked for you. I'm not sure he realised I was your girlfriend right away."

"Joe gets distracted when he works." Barry shrugged. "We'll have a proper meeting later, I promise."

"I'd like that." She whispered and he winked back at her, making her go weak in the knees. She glanced at her watch. "Ups, I have to got back to the lab. I was just dropping by to give you the bow tie."

"Yeah, I should go back to work too. I've just got science stuff… stuff I got to science the stuff… out of." He rambled awkwardly. He cleared his throat. "Anyway, I'll call you."

Caitlin cocked an eyebrow in amusement and shook her head. She grabbed her handbag and Barry leaned down to drop a kiss on her lips as she turned back towards him. She let her finger trail along his jaw, enjoying the slight scruff he had been growing the last few days. "Okay, I have to go." She said breathlessly, swiftly pecking his lips one more time before pulling away and making her way towards the elevator. She glanced back at him over her shoulder one last time before she was out of sight.

Barry felt like he was on air supply, his lungs too full and his brain floating high in the sky. Things had gone well. Things _were_ going well. And if he was lucky, everything would be soon over and he would be able to live a normal life with Caitlin. He just had to wrap this case up.

And the S.T.A.R. labs' Gala was his open door.

* * *

 _ **A/N: shout out to ShanouNash who practically read my mind with Caitlin surprising Barry at the CCPD station, I had this scene planned since like the 4th chapter!** _


	16. Let's Dance

_**A/N: So here is the first part of the S.T.A.R. labs Gala you've all been waiting for! As you probably guessed, this will be a turning point in the story so I had to divide it in more chapters. Hope you like it and let me know what you thought about it ;)**_

 _ **I don't own anything ;)**_

* * *

He checked himself out one last time in the mirror, readjusting the bow tie – which Caitlin had offered him – for what seemed like the thousandth time in the past ten minutes. It had been a while ago since the last time he had worn his tux but it still fit like a glove – the dark material bringing out the red bow tie at his neck. Caitlin had insisted that he wore this particular bow tie, but had refused to tell him why. He had guessed it had something to do with her attire from which he knew nothing about. He had tried more than once to gain more informations about it, without much success. But she always seemed so excited about him wearing it every time he brought it up, that he couldn't really mind not knowing the reason why. He was pretty much helpless in front of a cute Caitlin Snow.

Barry slightly turned his head to the left and was satisfied when he couldn't see the tiny earpiece he was currently wearing in his reflection. Hopefully Felicity was right and they wouldn't make the metal detector beep at the entrance. Because then he would be totally screwed. Big time.

A ball of nervousness had formed itself at the pit of his stomach since he had woken up this morning. Never had he been so jittery at the thought of going to a party. Sure, some of the anxiety came from going to S.T.A.R. labs, the danger of being discovered and maybe making progress in his job. But the bigger part of his tension came from his date. Their fight had somehow brought them even closer than they had been before. They would call each other every day and they barely spent more than one day apart. Everything he felt for this woman was real – he felt it in his bones.

" _Don't worry, Barry. You look great."_

Barry startled alone in his room. He had almost forgotten that Felicity, currently in her office at Starling Investigation on the other side of the city, could see and hear everything that he could, the devices he was wearing being already activated.

" _One two – one two – sound check."_

"I can hear you Felicity. Now please, you promised you would behave." Barry replied through his shirtsleeve microphone.

" _I know, I know. But I'm freaking excited about this."_

Barry rolled his eyes. "Well, I'm glad you're enjoying yourself from my miserable state of nerves. Now please, shut up."

Felicity chuckled in his ear and Barry glared affectionately at her into the camera – placed at the centre of his bow tie – through the mirror. He was really amazed by the tiny devices he had gotten, practically invisible to the human eye and highly efficient.

There was a soft knock on his door and Barry straightened his jacket one last time, before grabbing the single red rose lying on his table before opening his door.

He lost his voice as soon as his eyes settled on her. She was wearing a sleeveless red dress with a light black jacket on her shoulders. The dress snug closely to her body and ended just above her knees, revealing her perfectly shaped legs. At her feet were deep black high heels. At the same instant, he realised that his outfits – black tuxedo with a red bow tie – matched exactly hers, only in reverse. And he was sure that, together, they would look really good. No wonder she had been so excited when she had given him the bow tie.

"Barry?"

His eyes flew up to her cocked eyebrow. "Oh wow." He croaked – really, was he _incapable_ of speaking clearly in her presence? – and then cleared his throat. "You look beautiful."

Caitlin giggled softly, looking down at her hands as a blush crept up her cheeks, becoming almost as red as her dress, which was pretty endearing if you'd ask Barry. She glanced back up at him. "You don't look too bad yourself." She slowly came closer to him and adjusted his bow tie just because she wanted to. "Nice bow tie." She whispered, her breath hot on his jaw.

His pulse throbbed against his collar and he swallowed hard. "Yeah you like it?" His eyebrows bounced playfully on his forehead and Caitlin nodded. "My girlfriend gave it to me."

"Well, your girlfriend has really good taste." She grinned. God he loved how the word 'girlfriend' rolled down her tongue.

He decided to tease her further. "I'll tell her next time I see her." He said with a wink.

Caitlin gasped at him and playfully hit him on the chest with the back of her hand. Barry chuckled, the red lipstick on her lips attracting almost all of his attention. It should be forbidden to look so good. He cupped her cheek with one hand and leaned down to kiss her lightly, not wanting to swipe off all of her lipstick. When she pulled back, she eyed the red rose still in his other hand. "That's for you." He handed it to her and her lips curled up as she delicately took it between her fingers.

"Aw, that's really sweet. Thanks Barry." Caitlin took hold of his lapel and brought his face back down to hers, softly moulding her lips to his, letting her tongue slip between his lips. Barry's hand went immediately to her waist, keeping her close. Her grip on his jacket tightened as she rose on her tiptoes, wanting more of him.

A loud groan came out from deep inside Barry throat. "If you keep doing that, we won't go anywhere tonight."

"Yeah right." She rolled her eyes, chuckling as she let a finger remove some lipstick that had transferred from her lips to his. She grabbed his arm and pulled him behind her. "Let's go."

Barry closed the front door of his apartment and followed her down the stairs of his building. Her car was parked right in front of it. He scurried to the driver's door and opened it for her as soon as she unlocked it. She pecked him on the lips as a thank you right before getting in the car. He closed the door with a satisfied smile and made his way to the passenger side.

"I'm sorry you had to pick me up, it's not really gentleman-like of me." He apologised as he seated inside her car, watching her put her red rose on the control board.

Caitlin waved his comment aside with her hand before putting the keys into the ignition. "Don't worry. It's the 21st century. I _do_ have the right and privilege to be the one picking you up." She commented smiling as she drove them across the city. "Beside, you don't have a car so there wasn't really any choice."

"True. But it doesn't make me look very sexy for you, does it?" He pouted.

Caitlin burst out laughing and Barry glared at her. She sobered up and looked intently sideway at him. "You don't have to worry about that. The motorbike is tremendously sexy, believe me." She replied with a husky voice and an arched eyebrow, before looking back at the road.

Barry's breath caught in his throat and he had to slide a finger into the collar of his dress shirt to try loosening it up a little, to give himself more space to breath. That woman would be the death of him.

* * *

She pulled up in front of S.T.A.R. labs at her usual parking space. There were already way more cars than usually. And as planned, they were fashionably late.

Barry found her side as soon as they got out of the car, giving her his arm so that she could link hers through his. Together, they made their way towards the front doors where a few people were waiting in line for the security check. Soon, it was their turn. Caitlin handed the security guard – a gruff looking man – her S.T.A.R. labs' pass. "He's my plus one." She indicated, nodding towards Barry.

One of the armed men checked her pass inside a computer, glanced up at Barry, before nodding to his colleague. They gestured towards the security gate and Caitlin went through first. Nothing particular happened so one guard nodded and then it was Barry's turn. The young spy tried to calm his heartbeat as he walked through the gate. A loud beep made his whole body tense up. The man on the other side of the door gestured for him to approach him slowly. Barry swallowed before taking a few steps. The guard stopped him with a hand sign and took his portable metal detector from its holster and began hovering it all over Barry. The young man clenched his fists, just in case he would have to make a run for it. This particular moment would decide for the rest of his life. He couldn't help the beads of sweat from forming themselves at the root of his hair.

But everything went fine. There was no beeping. The guard padded carefully Barry's pocket and then gave him the all clear to go. Barry let out the breath he had been holding and joined Caitlin who seemed oblivious to that intense stress her boyfriend had just gone through. Everything had gone very fast and in almost complete silence.

They shortly stopped at the coatroom for Caitlin to relieve herself from her jacket. She sweetly smiled at him as he placed his hand at the small of her back before entering the ballroom together.

"Wow, Caitlin! Look at you!" Someone whistled near them.

They both turned around in direction of Cisco who had spotted them as soon as they had set foot in the room.

"Hey Cisco." Caitlin greeted him with a big affectionate smile, hugging him quickly.

"Barry, nice to see you again." The young Hispanic man nodded towards Barry, shaking his hand.

"So, Cisco, who's your mystery date you didn't want to tell me about?" Caitlin teased curiously.

Cisco blushed furiously and tried to avoid the subject but Caitlin didn't let go so easily. She did stop talking when a young woman came behind Cisco, letting a hand travel seductively across his shoulders. Barry's eyes jumped from Cisco's awkward blush, to the woman's smug smile and then to Caitlin's appalled face.

"Hello Caitlin." The woman greeted, a bit coldly in Barry's opinion. But before Caitlin could reply, the young woman whispered something in Cisco's ear, making him turn even more crimson red than before, and left the three of them.

Caitlin's disgusted stare followed the other woman across the room before her head snapped back to Cisco. "Really, Cisco?! Snart? You had to bring Lisa Snart as a date?!" She scowled at her best friend.

"She's not as bad as she lets people think she is." Cisco tried to defend himself.

"But you can do so much better." Caitlin complained and Barry let a hand run up and down her back to soothe her. She gave him a grateful glance before bringing her attention back to her best friend.

Barry decided to tune out of the conversation and looked around himself, keeping his hand on Caitlin. The room was full. He spotted some faces he had seen in the initial case files he had gotten at the beginning of this case. But he couldn't see Dr. Wells or Jay Garrick anywhere. A few waiters where walking in between people with drinks and appetizers while security guards kept surveillance on the main room and the different exits. On the stage was a band playing some soft jazz, inviting the guests to dance.

"At least give her a chance, Caitlin."

Barry looked back at the two friends and saw that Caitlin's face seemed more relaxed than before. "Fine. For you I'll give her a chance. But if she breaks your heart, I'll break her face." She finally said, very seriously, a determined look on her face making both men swallow.

Barry put his right hand in front of her and she raised a surprised eyebrow at him. "Let's dance." He simply said, knowing it'll make her relax. But he wouldn't even dream about telling her that, knowing it would probably anger her.

Caitlin took his hand with a soft smile and he led her to the dance floor, carefully putting one hand on her waist as she put hers on his shoulder. Slowly, they moved to the music, keeping the other close. Their eyes were glued together, never looking away from the other. Until Barry leaned down to whisper something in her ear, breaking the eye-connection they had been sharing. "Have I told you how beautiful you look tonight, Cait?"

His voice sent a shiver down her spine and she felt all warm and fuzzy without even having a single drink yet. "You might have said something once, but I wouldn't say no to a recap." She joked, her cheeks slightly flushed.

Barry chuckled and pulled back. He found it really cute how she always had a hard time accepting a compliment and how she often tried to deflect the attention away from her by saying a joke or changing the subject. Barry promised himself that, as long as he would be allowed to, he would keep complimenting her every occasion he would get. "Well, Dr. Caitlin Snow, you look particularly gorgeous tonight. And I'm pretty sure I'm the luckiest man here."

Caitlin bit her lower lip as she shook her head from shyness, her heart swelling in her chest. "You shouldn't say things like these." She whispered, avoiding his eyes.

Barry frowned. "Why not?"

"Because then, all I want to do is to get out of here to have my way with you." She murmured, raising her heated gaze to his face.

She saw his eyes darken immediately. Her hand went from his shoulder to his neck to bring his face down to hers, giving him a kiss appropriate enough for a public place but promising much more for later, taking his breath away. At this precise moment, he realised how much he actually loved this woman and that he wouldn't be able to keep it in for long. These three particular words just begged to roll down his tongue and dive into her ears. Maybe she would say it back. Maybe not. He didn't care. He just wanted her to know.

Barry was about to open his mouth. The words were about to tumble out of it. But he was interrupted before he could say anything.

" _Barry, I'm sorry to break the whole sexual tension between you two lovebirds – I swear the fog on the windows is there because of you two – but we've got an opening."_

Barry was slightly startled by Felicity's voice, but Caitlin didn't seem to think much of it, as she leaned her head against his chest as they continued dancing.

" _On your right, both security guards have been called out. So the way upstairs is clear. You should take your chance now. Tap once on your microphone if you're going to go for it."_

Barry sighed. Way to break the romance and bring him back down to the hard reality. Discretely, he moved Caitlin and him so that he could see the path Felicity had described him. The path was clear – nobody would pay attention to him. It was now or never. He glanced down at the woman in his arm. He really didn't want to separate himself from her. But he slightly tapped his microphone with his index finger anyway. Luckily, the song ended mere seconds later.

Barry softly but reluctantly pulled back from Caitlin. "I'm sorry, but I need to use the bathrooms. I'll be right back."

She nodded and he dropped a kiss to her lips. He made his way towards the bathrooms, glanced over his shoulder to see Caitlin join Cisco at a table both laughing at some joke Cisco had probably just said, before changing his course, making a beeline to the free stairs, making his way up there without anyone seeing him.

His decision was made. Everything would end tonight. He would do everything in his power to get what he needed from S.T.A.R. labs tonight and then he would end everything. He would tell her the truth. He'll make peace with what he did and admit everything to Caitlin.

And hopefully she would give him another chance.

He just couldn't keep it in anymore.

He loved her damn too much.

* * *

 _ **A/N: Okay, so I hope you guys got your dose of cuteness and fluff because things are getting serious in the next chapter! :)**_

 _ **See ya' next weekend! ;)**_

 _ **(Oh and as for the guest that asked me if I could write a fanfiction where Barry is a serial killer and Caitlin his victim, I'm not sure I'm comfortable writing that... Barry is such a puppy, that writing him as a spy was already pretty hard, but a serial killer... o.O Sorry...)**_


	17. Trouble

**_A/N: I want to thank you all again and again for your support! I love how you guys get excited about this story, it always makes my day!_**

 ** _Anyway, here you go, what you all were waiting for! I hope you guys are ready! :P_**

 ** _I don't own anything :) (yup, even borrowed a scene from the actual show for this chapter!)_**

* * *

 _"There, on your left."_

Barry turned his head and was met with a wall. "Hum… There is nothing on my left." He whispered in his sleeve. He was currently in the middle of the corridors of the 1st floor of S.T.A.R. labs, following Felicity's directions. Everything had gone without a hitch ever since he had left the ballroom a few minutes ago. He met no one on his way and every direction Felicity gave him was correct. Well except that last one.

" _Well there should be something. According to the blueprints I have, there should be a room right there."_ Felicity insisted, her voice a little strained.

He was amazed that his colleagues had actually managed to get hold of the S.T.A.R. labs' blueprints. And if they said there was a room there, he should look for it. Barry put both of his hands on the sleek wall and felt around to see if there was some kind of trigger he could activate. After a few seconds of blindly touching the surface, the palm of his right hand sank into the wall as a fragment of it yielded under the pressure. He had found the hidden button.

Right in front of him, he watched with surprise as a door drew itself in the wall, opening itself for him, revealing a square darkened room behind. Cautiously, Barry entered, checking that he was still alone.

" _Eureka! You're a genius Barry!"_ Felicity squealed in excitement in his ear and he could perfectly imagine her hopping on her chair.

Barry didn't bother to reply, taking in his surroundings. He slightly startled when the room lighted up as soon as he set foot in it. The room was completely empty and Barry wondered what the point of having a secret room was, if you weren't going to use it. But the spy inside of him told him to look further.

So he was almost not surprised when, as he set his feet in the middle of the room, a small pillar came out of the ground, stopping when it came to his waist's high. On it was a laptop on display. Barry frowned and glanced around him, almost expecting to see a camera in one corner to show that he had been pranked. Because this was too easy. They couldn't just give him a computer like that.

" _Well, what are you waiting for, Barry? The coast is clear, take a look at the damn laptop!"_ Felicity almost gave him a heart attack. Everything had been so quiet that he had forgotten that she was virtually with him.

Barry took a deep breath and opened the laptop. He took his USB stick from the inside pocket of his tux and inserted it in the computer. He took a swift look of the files' names and took everything that seemed relevant for his case.

Everything was going as planned. The USB stick was top technology, allowing him to download tones of data on it with incredible speed. So when one of the files refused to be transferred, his heartbeat picked up its pace and Barry's mind got sharper.

"Felicity, I need your help." He called out to the young IT expert. "Can you access the computer from where you are?"

" _Honestly, I'm offended you even have to ask! I have a wireless connection to the USB stick so I can basically do anything from here."_ She bragged on. _"I'm a genius right?"_

"Well, I need you to transfer that file." He replied sharply. She acted so relaxed that it was a little unnerving. Sure, her butt wasn't on the line – she was comfortably sitting in her office, probably with a cup of coffee and a pillow behind her back – but still, she could sympathise.

" _Sorry, I'm on it!"_ Felicity quickly apologised, sensing the tension in his voice.

Barry watched as she took control of the computer in front of him, codes appearing on the display. He saw her transfer the file and they now had to wait a little, the process taking longer than for the other files. So Barry decided to take a look inside it in the meantime.

The file opened and one single thing was in it.

A video.

Barry glanced above his shoulder to check if he was still alone and opened the video.

" _You don't have time Barry, just take it and we'll analyse it at HQ."_ Felicity ordered in his ear when the transfer finally ended, but Barry ignored her. He had to know if the video was important. Because if it wasn't, he would have to keep searching and there was no way he was coming back here another time.

He had to end it tonight. He wouldn't risk it. He couldn't. He had to tell Caitlin the truth.

The video showed an underground dark room, with bowed blue walls like if it were a pipeline. It looked like the footage of a security camera. A man – Barry immediately recognise Dr. Wells – was standing in the middle of it when a young man entered the room, an automatic round door closing behind him.

" _Now, what were you doing in my accelerator?"_ Dr. Wells' deep calm voice came out of the computer's speakers.

" _I thought it was our accelerator?"_ The young man, who had a neat haircut and was wearing round glasses, answered sure of himself. _"Because it will be our fault if we turn this thing and blow a hole in Central City."_ He continued with a calm voice.

Dr. Wells answered in another language that Barry didn't understand. In his ear piece, Felicity was warning him to get out of there, telling him to take the video, that he had seen enough to make sure it was crucial intel. Barry kept ignoring her, concentrating on the rest of the video.

" _You are wagering the lives of everyone in this building."_ The young man continued. _"Everyone in this city! If you don't have the courage to admit you could be wrong, I will do it for you."_ He shook is head and skirted around Dr. Wells to leave the room.

" _Hartley Rathaway!"_ Dr. Wells called him. At that same moment four suited security men blocked Hartley's way out of the room. The young man turned back to look at the older scientist who spoke with a firm voice. _"Your position at S.T.A.R. labs is terminated."_

Hartley shook his head in disgust. _"If you think you can shut me out…"_

" _Oh I know I can, Hartley."_ Dr. Wells cut him off, his voice calm and threatening, taking a couple of steps in his direction. _"Because if you breathe one word of any kind of unsubstantiated accusation, I will make sure the only job you'll ever get in physics is teaching it to High School's Juniors."_

Hartley nodded in spite of himself and left the room escorted by the four security men.

Barry let out a breath he didn't even know he had been keeping in as the black screen told him the video was finished. That's what he needed; this and the projects' files would prove that the particle accelerator was dangerous for the city. The video also proved that Dr. Wells was fully aware of it.

This was his way out of this mess. He would soon be free.

He was about to pull his USB stick out of the computer when one last file caught his attention: _'Allen'_. Barry's heartbeat picked up even more than before, if that was even possible. So many questions rushed into his mind and he could answer to none of them. 'Why would S.T.A.R. labs have a file with his family name on it?' being the main question here.

" _Barry, you need to move!_ " Felicity brought him back to reality. Without thinking further, Barry put the _'Allen'_ file on his USB stick before taking it out, closing the laptop and running out of the room. Automatically, the pillar disappeared back into the floor and the door closed itself as he stepped out, hiding the room again.

Safely, he reached the corridor and relaxed his pace, to avoid looking suspicious. He had to get back to the ballroom, or Caitlin would start looking for him. Barry adjusted his bow tie and took a turn at the corner.

And he almost bumped into a hard body. Barry stopped dead on his tracks and looked up to meet Jay's scrutiny gaze. "Barry Allen, right?" He smirked down at the young agent.

Something in his tone didn't feel right to Barry, he could hear a threatening and mischievous edge to it. Barry swallowed hard. Jay was bigger and seemed stronger than him, he shouldn't underestimate him. Especially since he didn't know if that man was actually who he said he was. So he just nodded, trying to square his shoulder to seem more impressive.

"Are you lost?" Jay chuckled without any warmth in his tone.

Barry was looking for a good repartee when the sound of high heels interrupted their almost conversation. "Barry, there you are!" Caitlin came into view behind Jay. "I was looking everywhere for you." She continued, placing herself next to the young man, linking her arm with his.

"Sorry," Barry said quietly, "I was trying to find my way back to you. This place is a real maze!" He tried to explain his disappearance but internally cursed himself for not finding a better excuse.

"It's alright." Caitlin smiled up at him. "Come on, I wanted to show you my lab." She carefully tugged on his arm and he dutifully followed her. He would follow her anywhere, really. "See you later, Jay." She called over her shoulder to the other scientist, not paying more attention to him than that, to Barry's utter delight.

A moment later, they stepped inside a spacious circular room filled with computers and lab equipment. Caitlin turned around to watch the amazed look on Barry's face as he studied every detail of the room. "Wow" was the only coherent thing he managed to say as he detached himself from her and began exploring the room.

Caitlin chuckled at the goofy look he was wearing. "So this is where I work with my team. And over there, you can see my private office, where I can retreat when I need to work on my own." She pointed to a back room on one side. He could easily picture her working there, bent over a microscope, scribbling notes on a piece of paper, absent-mindedly nibbling on her lower lip, taking a sip of coffee from time to time.

"This is so awesome." Barry was beaming and her heart swelled in her chest.

She felt so light after showing him where she worked, like she was sharing a new part of herself with him, making their bond even thicker than before. And after seeing that look on his face, she immediately knew how much it meant to him that she was still giving herself to him. She observed him as he walked around the room, grazing carefully her equipment with the tip of his fingers, afraid to break something. When he finished his round, he came back to stand right in front of her. "Thank you for sharing this with me." He said softly.

Caitlin smiled at him, her eyes crinkling a little as she took a step forward. Her hands travelled up his chest and delicately grabbed the lapels of his tux, bringing him closer to her. For a long moment, they just stared at each other, hazel meeting green, lost in their own bubble. And when her eyes flitted down to his lips, he couldn't help the groan escaping from deep down his throat. Caitlin chuckled right before raising to her tiptoes while bringing him down to kiss him in a way she absolutely shouldn't, considering they were still in a public place.

But it seemed inhuman to have the strength to hold down the passion.

"God, I love you." Barry whispered against her lips when they broke apart. He hadn't planned to say it now, in the middle of her lab, during a heaving make out session. But he couldn't keep it in anymore, he had to tell her. He just had no idea how she would react.

Caitlin gazed up at him – her cheeks all flushed and cute – before crashing their lips back together, both of their hearts beating as one. She pulled away, giving herself just enough time to stare at him with glittery eyes, before diving back in for another heated kiss.

When breathing became a necessity again, they pulled apart, leaning their foreheads against each other. "I love you too." She whispered back breathlessly, her hands travelling up and down the lapels of his jacket like she couldn't get enough of him. And he couldn't get enough of her, peppering kisses along her jaw, going down to her neck. He stopped when he heard her gasp under his ministrations. It immediately snapped him back to reality.

Barry pulled away, met her eyes and took a deep breath. "Caitlin. There's something I need to tell you."

" _Bartholomew Henry Allen! Don't even think about it!"_

Barry jumped in surprise at Felicity's voice and Caitlin eyed him worriedly. "Barry? Is everything okay?"

"Yes. Perfect." He cleared his throat. How could he have forgotten about Felicity? He would never be able to face her again after the embarrassment of her witnessing such a private moment between Caitlin and him. But for now, it wasn't his biggest problem. He'd deal with it later. "There's just something really important I need you to know."

" _Don't you dare do what I think you're about to do!"_ Felicity warned him, almost shouting.

Barry shook his head and Caitlin seemed more and more worried. Barry had enough of all of this. It had to stop. He couldn't do it anymore. He couldn't bear lying to her – it was wrenching his heart. He had to tell her. He loved her too much to keep up with the charade.

His decision made, Barry fished the device inside his ear and turned it off under Caitlin's shocked look. He did exactly the same with the camera hidden in his bow tie and the microphone in his shirtsleeve. He looked up to see Caitlin's jaw drop.

Caitlin let go of his lapels, agape, staring at him as if she was really seeing him for the first time. "Bar… Barry, what… what's going on?" She stuttered, her hands moving aimlessly in front of her. Dr. Caitlin Snow never stuttered. "What are you doing?"

Barry silently handed her the three devices and she eyed them as if she were afraid they would explode at any moment. "What is this?" She whispered, scared of the answer she could get.

"Cait, I'm really sorry, I really wanted to tell you before…" He began explaining as she carefully took the technology into her hands. It didn't take her long to understand what she was holding. She lifted two hazel orbs, glistening from newborn tears, to his face.

"Are these what I think they are?" She asked, her voice suddenly very cold, as if the realisation of his betrayal had shut down all her emotion, instantly building her walls back up. Barry could already feel her slipping away from him. "Were you spying on me? Were you using me? Was this what it was all about?!"

"Cait, let me explain…" He tried again.

"Don't!" She cut him off, raising a single finger in his direction. Him not denying any of the things she had just accused him of what enough for her. His heart broke all over again for her. "How could you do this to me?" Her voice cracked, and for a short moment, he could see her behind her walls, see in her eyes how hurt she was. A tear ran down her cheek and all he wanted to do was to swipe it away with his thumb. But Caitlin wasn't even at arm's reach – literally and figuratively – as she had taken a few steps back.

Barry opened and closed his mouth a few times, not finding the right words to make everything better. A part of him was telling him that he didn't find them because he didn't deserve to be forgiven. He was to blame. So he stayed silent.

Caitlin shook her head in disgust, barely looking at him. "I need some time to think... Alone." For a fleeting moment, her watery eyes met his. "You know the way out." She added before turning her back to him to leave.

"Cait…" He croaked, finding his voice all of a sudden, but she didn't turn around and disappeared somewhere in the back of her lab, leaving him alone in the main part.

Too much.

Everything had been way too much for him to handle. Everything had gone wrong. What he would give to go back in time and refuse the case. What he would do to properly meet her without a hidden agenda. What he would do to just have a normal life with her. He let a hand go through his hair, realising that all of this wasn't possible. He had screwed it up and lost the woman he loved. In a matter of seconds.

He ran his hand on his face, wondering what to do next. Obviously, he would have to try to talk to her again, try to explain. But the chances that she would take him back were pretty slim, in his opinion.

"Well well… Mr. Allen, right?"

Barry jumped up, startled by the deep voice coming from behind him. He turned around and fell face to face with none other than Dr. Wells. He eyed the older man curiously. How did he even know his name?

"That's right." Barry nodded. "It's a pleasure to meet you, Dr. Wells." Barry put his hand forward, putting his most neutral face on, trying to hide the state of distress he was currently in.

Dr. Wells shook his hand but didn't let go after that, grabbing at it with unexpected force. "I don't think you are in the right place, Mr. Allen." The doctor continued with a calm but threatening voice. "I must admit; you did a pretty good job. But not good enough."

Barry frowned first and then he saw _it_ in the older man's eyes and his heart missed a beat. He was caught. He probably never even had a chance. Dr. Wells had seen him coming.

"Hey boss, look what I found."

Barry recognised Jay's voice coming from behind him and slowly turned around, afraid of what he would find. And he was right to me scared. Because what he found was worst than what he had expected.

There, at the entrance of the room, stood Jay. But he wasn't alone. Right in front of him stood Caitlin, both arms behind her back where Jay was keeping her in place with one hand, while the other was pointing a gun right under her head.

"I found the red princess eavesdropping." Jay smirked.

* * *

 _ **A/N: sorry for the little cliffhanger, it was way too tempting :P How are you guys doing after that season finale we got? ^^**_

 _ **Anyway, hope you liked this chapter! Until next weekend! :)**_


	18. Bring Me Down With You

_**A/N: I'm pretty sure your reactions to the cliffhanger was the best thing ever! And as I don't think I'll be able to update this weekend, I decided to update today because you guys are the bests and I didn't want to keep you waiting!**_

 _ **This chapter was quite a challenge because I had a hard time grasping the character that is Dr. Wells... So I hope I didn't do too bad :) Anyway, enjoy and let me know what you thought about it!**_

 _ **I don't own anything :)**_

* * *

" _I found the red princess eavesdropping." Jay smirked._

Barry clenched his jaw at the sight of Caitlin flushed against Jay's body, her hands locked behind her back, the gun right under her head, pointing up. Images flashed through Barry's mind, flashbacks from his nightmare, Caitlin pointing a gun towards herself. His heart clenched at the memory. There was no way Barry would let today end the way his nightmare had. He would do everything to protect her.

Angrily, he wrenched his hand away from Dr. Wells' grip. "Let her go!" Barry groaned through grit teeth, his eyes throwing daggers towards Jay whose smirk just widened. The bastard was actually enjoying this, having this woman at his mercy and being the aim of a young man's weak threatening attempts.

"Tsk tsk tsk." Dr. Wells shut him up. "I'm not really sure you are in position to make demands, Mr. Allen." He simply stated and Barry felt like he was watching that video he had found all over again. There was no doubt that the Wells from the video and the Wells standing next to him were the exact same person.

Barry turned around, staring straight into Dr. Wells' eyes. "Please, you can have me, but let her go. She has _nothing_ to do with this." He pleaded in spite of himself. Begging to a criminal was the last thing he wanted to do right now. But he didn't really have a choice – he had to do everything in his power to get Caitlin out of this mess. He was responsible for everything. He had to get her out.

The older doctor's shoulders shook from laughter and Barry had to fight not to groan from disgust. "I don't think you understand, Mr. Allen." He spoke with a calm and deep voice, remembering Barry more and more of the video he had seen just half an hour ago. "If you are here tonight, it's because Dr. Snow invited you. She's the one who brought you here. Which means, she _has_ something to do with this." He explained very seriously, almost as if he was doing a scientific demonstration. "I would even say that she has _everything_ to do with this."

Barry swallowed hard. He had to think fast. But his mind was frozen. All he could think about was the gun pointing at Caitlin and her life standing on the mere move he would do.

Before he could think of something smart to say, Dr. Wells continued in a low tone. "I saw you hanging out around Dr. Snow and S.T.A.R. labs but you were pretty harmless at the time. I found your weak attempts quite amusing." He chuckled, still amused by the whole situation. "But you stepped up your game tonight and I was almost impressed. So you see, you stepped over a line here. And I obviously have no other choice than to get rid of you." A smirk slowly stretched his lips mischievously. "Both of you."

Barry's heart missed a beat as he heard Caitlin gasp behind him. He cautiously glanced at her and saw Jay's grip tightening on her, her red dress wrinkled because of the unnatural position Caitlin was currently standing in. Seeing Jay's hands on her body was making him sick and it was even worse because he couldn't do anything about it.

"Do you really think that your sneaking around would go unnoticed?" Dr. Wells continued, not paying any attention to Caitlin and Jay. "I have a top security system at the entrance of my lab, do you really think I'm dumb enough to not have any inside?"

"Fine, you caught me. I went through your stuff." Barry spat out angrily. "But leave Caitlin alone!" His clenched jaw was making his teeth hurt. "Do what you want with me, but let her go." Maybe repeating it would make Dr. Wells reconsider. Barry tried to swallow the lump in the back of his throat, unsuccessfully.

"Oh I wouldn't want to tear you two lovebirds apart." Dr. Wells snickered.

Barry groaned and the older man's smirk just widened from satisfaction.

"Now, tell me, Mr. Allen." Dr. Wells continued. "Who do you work for?"

Barry chuckled bitterly, trying to ease some tension off his shoulders. "Like I would ever tell you…"

"Now now," the older scientist cut him off, "put away that cocky behaviour and tell me what I want to know." He moved around the room to stand next to Jay who had now his gun straight to Caitlin's temple, putting pressure on it and making her squeal in pain. "… Or Dr. Snow will pay the price. No offence Caitlin, I really enjoyed working with you, you never ceased to amaze me." Her boss added as he met the young woman's frightened gaze. "But I'm afraid I don't have a choice here."

Barry's face fell. Dr. Wells wasn't an idiot, he would use Caitlin as leverage against him and he knew it would work. Beads of sweat appeared at the rim of Barry's hair. He was completely lost, had no idea what to do next. He had never been in that kind of position before and he couldn't remember having been trained for it – he probably had been but his brain was completely frozen by fear.

Barry took a deep breath. He had to buy himself some time. "You do realise that if I don't get back, people I work for are going to wonder what happened to me. And then they'll know that you're hiding something."

Dr. Wells just shrugged. "Yes, but until then, your beloved doctor will be long gone and you'll be close behind. So quit stalling and start talking. Now!" He growled.

Barry's eyes met Caitlin's and he could perfectly read the fear floating in them. She also gave him a look that meant he had to shut up. He turned his attention back to her boss. "What about you tell me what you want to do with that particle accelerator?"

Dr. Wells rolled his eyes in annoyance. "You're stubborn, aren't you?"

"Well," Barry snarled, "if I'm going to die soon, I'd like to know what I really fought against."

"Fair enough." Dr. Wells shrugged and decided to make this conversation a bit more interesting. "But tell me first what you think you know."

Barry took a moment to think about his next words. Maybe he had a shot at this. "I know that you want to blow the city up with that accelerator."

A clear laugh resonated around the lab, making his blood run cold. "And why would I do that?" Dr. Wells asked as if it was the most absurd thing ever. "I love Central City, I would never blow it up."

"Then what are you trying to do?" Barry frowned, not understanding anymore.

Dr. Wells moved again and went to stand right next to the young spy. "I'm trying to make science, to change the world as it is today." He slowly explained. "After the activation of my little baby, everything will be different. Everything you thought would be impossible will be our new reality. Things you couldn't even dream about. And I'm the master behind it."

Barry felt a dreadful shiver run up his spine at the cold but passionate voice Dr. Wells was using. He met Caitlin's eyes and could perfectly see the confused frown drawing itself on her face. She had absolutely no idea what her boss was talking about.

"You remind me of your father, you know?" Dr Wells suddenly noticed. "The same stubborn character. But you do have your mother's eyes."

Barry's heart missed a bit. He hadn't expected his family being brought into this. And then he remembered the 'Allen' folder he had transferred on his USB stick. "What do you even know about them?" Barry spat out, clenching his hands into fists.

"Oh more than you think…" Caitlin's boss trailed off.

Barry felt as if his body was catching on fire. Something in the way the older scientist had stated knowing more about his parents had ignited something he had thought buried inside of him a long time ago. Barry was pretty sure Dr. Wells had the answers he had been looking for, for a great part of his life. He had the answers on the mystery behind his parents' death. And something was telling him Barry wouldn't like them.

The sudden need to punch the smug grin off Dr. Wells' face took over him. Air filled his lungs and he was about to throw his fist when Dr. Wells took a gun out from his back and pressed it against Barry's temple. "I wouldn't do that if I were you." He snickered.

Clouded by anger, Barry hadn't seen that one coming. "Who are you really?" Barry groaned.

"Hum, you're not as dumb as I thought." Dr. Wells admitted, genuinely surprised.

Barry was about to retort when he heard a small whimper coming from the two other persons in the room. He glanced at them and saw Jay creepily stare at Caitlin's cleavage. Barry could do nothing but witness as Jay sniffed her hair and Caitlin's eyes rolled to the back of her head as if she was about to throw up. Barry took a step forward, wanting nothing more than punch the guy right in the face. But Dr. Wells stopped him, putting a firm hand on his chest.

A moment later he heard the gun being cocked right next to his temple. "I wouldn't move if I were you." The older scientist warned. "And Hunter, please stop the creepy behaviour." He added towards his accomplice. "I promised you'd get the girl. And I always keep my promises, so just be a little more patient. You'll have your time with the lady."

Jay groaned in annoyance but the smug smile was still plastered on his face. Dr. Wells had called him Hunter. Maybe that was a clue that would help clear things up, if – _when_ – they would get out of here. Somehow, the name Hunter fit perfectly to the animalistic behaviour Jay was having right now.

"Anyway, we were saying?" Dr. Wells brought Barry's attention back to him. "Oh yeah, you being dumb, I remember now."

Barry was, once again, overwhelmed by the need to punch Dr. Wells. And that Jay guy or whoever the hell he actually was. Barry tried to calm himself down, using breathing techniques he had learned during his training.

"If you knew who I was since the beginning, why did you even let me in S.T.A.R. labs?" Barry finally asked.

"Oh because where would have been the fun if you couldn't even get in?" Dr. Wells raised his eyebrows. "Why do you think that secret room was so easy to find? It didn't occur to you that it was a bit weird that the door opened under your palm?"

Barry gasped in surprise. He had been so hell bent on closing this case as soon as possible to go back to Caitlin that he hadn't even stopped to realise how everything had went smoothly. Too smoothly. "You had everything planned, didn't you?"

"Of course, I'm a genius! And I'm actually kind of offended that you look so surprised." He huffed in annoyance. "I have to admit, using Dr. Snow here to get access to my data was pretty smart of you. So I'll give you that last compliment." He pointed out. "But I never planned to let you out of here alive."

Barry heard the intake of breath that Caitlin took at her boss' last comment.

He glanced at her and, with a simple but intense look, tried to tell her not to listen to the older man. But she just shot him a hurt glare before looking away, returning her attention on the man holding her prisoner.

Dr. Wells let out a loud laugh, the sound reverberating on the walls of the room. They could faintly hear the muffled sound of music coming from the ballroom on the floor below. Barry thought about all those people who had no idea what was currently happening above their heads. And they probably wouldn't hear any gunshot with all the conversations and music.

He cursed himself for turning off his surveillance devices. There was no way to communicate with Felicity. Barry felt his heart twist. He was alone in this.

He glanced around in the room and spotted one camera. Maybe the IT expert did have a visual on him and maybe she had already sent back up. Maybe they were already here. Maybe they were just trying to get through. Maybe they were just looking for them. Maybe Barry just had to buy themselves some time.

But it was a lot of "maybes", way too many for his liking.

Suddenly, an idea to unsettle Dr. Wells popped into his mind. That's all he actually needed. A small second of inattention to disarm him.

Barry turned to face Dr. Wells, the gun now aiming straight to his forehead, and took a deep breath. He had to be ready. "It doesn't matter if you kill me or not." He said slowly, clenching his fists. "My boss already knows about the plastic surgery."

Dr. Wells' face immediately fell and Barry almost wanted to cry from happiness as he recognised the unsettled look on his face. But he hadn't time for that. He had to act fast. He was ready.

Barry launched himself forward, sending his right punch in the doctor's face. Taken by surprise and under the impact, Dr. Wells let go of the gun he had been carrying. As fast as a flash, Barry grabbed the weapon lying on the floor, laid a foot on Dr. Wells' chest to keep him down, though he was pretty out of it, and pointed the gun straight towards Jay.

What he saw when he looked up left him speechless: Caitlin had managed to free her hands during Barry's distraction and Jay was trying to keep her in place with one arm around neck and the other around her waist. His gun had fallen down on his right. Before Barry could do anything, Caitlin shouted "Solar plexus" and her elbow shot backwards, smacking into Jay's stomach. "Instep." She continued as Jay moaned in pain and her right foot stepped down on his with full force. "Nose." Her left elbow flew up to hit him right in the nose. "Groin." And finally, her right fist made full contact with his groin, leaving Jay bent over, groaning and falling to the ground in pain.

Barry watched her in bewilderment and Caitlin looked up, raised an eyebrow at him and shrugged. "What? I watched 'Miss Congeniality' last night." She simply said a little breathlessly.

He shook his head in amazement as he approached her, before focusing back on their current situation. "Let's go." He thrust his hand forward so that she could grab it. When she didn't move, he glanced up at her face and saw her eying his hand doubtfully. Barry took a deep breath. "Do you trust me?" Still no movement from her part, absolutely no reaction. It was like she was frozen, staring at his hand. "Cait?" He breathed out.

That snapped her out of her stupor and her eyes flew up to his.

"Do you trust me?" He repeated softly and calmly, even if he was everything but calm. They had to move, they didn't have time to stall. The two men on the ground were barely knocked out; they would very soon stand up. But he couldn't push her.

For a moment, he got lost in her eyes and finally she flinched, making his heart constrict. "I don't know if I trust you or not." Caitlin said, her voice controlled and almost devoid of emotions. "But I do know that following you is the best option I have right now."

Barry tried to ignore the stabbing pain her words inflicted to him. He knew he deserved them. And right now, all that mattered was the way Caitlin grabbed his hand fiercely, ready to follow him anywhere he would lead, without letting go.

Barry nodded and launched himself towards the exit, pulling Caitlin with him behind. They began running along the empty S.T.A.R. labs' hallways. They accelerated their pace when they heard footsteps catching up with them. Dr. Wells and Jay had probably gained their conscience back.

Barry wanted to go faster, but he knew Caitlin wasn't really in the appropriate attire for a run. One glance over his shoulder and he could see her struggling, one hand clutching at her dress to avoid trapping her legs in the fabric, and the loud tapping of her heels on the floor were reverberating against the walls.

They finally reached the elevators and Barry punched the button like a mad man, as if it was going to make the cabin move faster. Every single one of his senses was overdeveloped and adrenalin was probably the main substance running through his blood right now, exciting every nerve he had inside. The steps behind them came closer and he was seeing the walls closing in on him. That was it – this was the end. He wouldn't be able to get her out of here.

Suddenly, Caitlin squeezed his hand and moved away from the elevator's doors, pulling him behind her. "Come on, there is a employee staircase that nobody ever uses this way, I almost forgot about it. I'm pretty sure half of the people working here don't know about it." She explained as he seemed hesitant to follow her – the elevator was almost there.

But he had always known: he would follow her anywhere she wanted.

A few meters away from the elevator was a barely visible door blending in the walls. Caitlin pushed against it forcefully and it gave away, revealing stairs going up and down. Both of them, hand in hand, fled down the stairs, the door slowly and silently closing behind them, ignoring the elevator's 'bing' as it arrived on their floor.

They didn't get to see Dr. Wells and Jay running towards the elevator that was closing its doors, Jay hitting angrily against the metallic doors as Dr. Wells called the elevator again, convinced that Barry and Caitlin were in it.

Dr. Wells immediately informed his security detail downstairs to wait for the elevator and to stop the young couple that would come out of. Except he didn't know the elevator was empty.

The couple was long gone.


	19. And It All Came Tumbling Down

_**A/N: You guys are simply the bests! I'm so overwhelmed with your response to each chapter and I'm so grateful... so thank you! And therefore you get an early chapter ;)**_

 _ **Okay so this chapter is heavy on the revelations! This story is soon coming to an end (like a couple of chapter and one epilogue) and I'm trying to tie up loose ends. Hope all the explanations are clear and if not, let me know so that I can try to fix it in the next few chapters! :)**_

 _ **I don't own anything :)**_

* * *

Hand in hand, Caitlin and Barry hurtled down the stairs, heavy breaths and hearts thumping in their chest. They had a small advantage over their pursuer – they had to make the most of it. But Barry always made sure Caitlin wouldn't fall down because of her heels – which she had already cursed half a dozen times in the last minute.

Together, they finally reached the ground floor, pushing the door open with force and clatter. Fortunately, the music covered the noise they made. They quickly made their way to the edge of the ballroom, hands still clutched together. They eyed the front door, heavily guarded, and stopped a moment to consider their next move. Nobody seemed to pay attention to the young couple, but a commotion among the security guards told the pair that these men were aware of their escape-attempt.

"There you guys are!"

They both jumped in surprise as Cisco came up behind them, a big smile on his face. He didn't seem to realise how tense his two friends were. Barry was grateful that he had thought of putting the gun he had been holding away in the waistband of his pants before arriving to the ground floor. That would've attracted way too much unwanted attention.

"I've been looking for you everywhere! What were you doing?" Cisco's eyes went round as he seemed to realise something. "Wait, don't tell me, I want to be able to sleep tonight." He snickered.

Barry let out a nervous laugh and Caitlin squinted at Cisco, not in the mood to joke around. It was really not the time for one of his innuendoes.

"Are you okay?" He added with a frown as he noticed their ragged breaths and the panic in their eyes. "What's up with you two?"

Barry and Caitlin shared a glance, wondering what they should tell the young engineer. Barry had absolutely no idea who he could trust, except Caitlin. And if she was willing to tell Cisco, then he would follow. But he would let her make the decision.

Caitlin understood the silent message and took a deep breath, her eyes swiftly flying over the room surrounding them, making sure nobody seemed to be eavesdropping. "Listen, Cisco, we can't explain right now, but we _really_ need a way out of here."

Cisco made a disgusted face. "Eww, spare me the details. I don't want to know what you two lovebirds will be doing after getting out of here." He showed the front door with his hand. "Well, the exit is this way. Don't let me keep you." He eyed Barry curiously. "But you seem way too much in a hurry for it to last, if you ask me."

Barry became crimson red in the matter of a second while Caitlin threw another glare in direction of her best friend. Barry really wished what Cisco was implying was the real reason to why they were in a hurry.

If only…

"Be serious for once, Cisco." Caitlin cut in, ignoring the warmth gaining her cheeks too. "We really need to get out of here – and not for the reason you think." She quickly added, raising one finger, stopping Cisco from making another inappropriate comment. "But we can't get through security."

Cisco sobered up as he saw the seriousness stretched across Caitlin's features. "Don't say more, I'm your man!"

The two runaways gave him a grateful smile and followed him as he made his way to a hallway at the back of the ballroom. "There is a back exit this way." Cisco explained, gesturing towards the exit he was talking about. "I can distract the guards while you get out. But after that, you are on your own."

The young couple just nodded in agreement, always in synch in their movement, and Barry would've found this really cute if his mind wasn't so preoccupied with being on the run.

Cisco gestured to them to stand still as he made his way towards the two guards standing not far from the back exit. The security detail there was light, as almost nobody knew about that door. Cisco squared his shoulder and plastered his biggest goofy smile on his face. "Hey guys! How's it going?"

The two guards glanced at the young Hispanic man, their faces impenetrable.

"I see, not really exciting here, right?" Cisco continued, not at all phased by their lack of reaction. "So what kind of weapons are you allowed to carry in here?" He asked curiously as he spotted a simple baton hanging at their hips and probably a Taser on the other side. Cisco nodded towards the two devices. "Kind of boring don't you think? Let me tell you something…" He moved around the both guards, making them turn so that their backs were facing Barry's and Caitlin's position. "I created a small baby a few weeks ago. I like to call it a cold gun." Cisco continued in hushed tones, beaming as he caught the guards' full attention.

The young scientist glanced furtively over the shoulder of one of the two armed-men, meeting Caitlin's eyes and the young couple understood that it was now or never. Caitlin mouthed "Thanks" to her best friend, and as silently as possible, hand in hand, Barry and Caitlin made their way towards the door as Cisco continued speaking about his new invention. For once, everything went as planned and soon the voice of Cisco was lost behind them as they stepped outside.

A gush of fresh air welcomed them, making Caitlin shiver in surprise. She let go of Barry's hand, rubbing her naked arms in hopes of warming up a bit. She mentally cursed herself for leaving her jacket in the coatroom. Without thinking twice – ignoring the pang in his chest at the loss of contact – Barry shrugged out of his jacket and draped it over her shoulders. She gave him a shy but thankful smile, before they both walked further away from S.T.A.R. labs. They knew they shouldn't hang out outside the building longer than necessary; Cisco wouldn't be able to keep the security from going after them for long.

They hurried together towards the parking lot where they had left Caitlin's car. They were about to reach the vehicle, when someone shouted Barry's name.

Barry swiftly turned around, placing himself in front of Caitlin, one arm stretched to the side as a shield – keeping her safely behind him – the other hand going straight to the gun tucked under the waistband on his pants in his back – ready to pull it out to protect her. Caitlin, surprised by his sudden movement, lost a bit her balance on her heels and grabbed at his shoulder to keep herself straight.

Barry immediately relaxed – lessening his grip on the gun, his arms falling back along his body – as he recognised Eddie coming their way, followed closely by a few of Diggle's men.

"Are you guys okay?" The blonde man asked worriedly.

Barry glanced at Caitlin over his shoulder before looking back at his partner. "Yeah, we're good." He breathed out in relief. "But you've got to take us out of here. We got in a bit of trouble."

Eddie nodded. "I know, Felicity sent us as soon as you took out that damn earpiece of yours. She had eyes on you both thanks to the security cameras, but we had no way to get into S.T.A.R. labs to help you out." He explained apologetically.

Barry tensed up as he felt Caitlin's hand hastily leave his shoulder and take a step back as Eddie talked. She still had no idea what was really going on. Eddie seemed to notice her pulling away too and mouthed "sorry" to his partner.

Barry shook his head, telling him silently that it wasn't Eddie's fault. He took a deep breath before turning around to face the young doctor. "Cait," he spoke softly, "I know you probably have a lot of questions right now, but we need to go with Eddie, we can trust him. Once we're safe, I promise I'll explain everything to you." He promised. "But first, we've got to get out of here."

Caitlin didn't say a word and barely met his eyes. She just hugged herself tighter, clutching at Barry's jacket around her body as if it were a shield, and gave him a slight nod. His shoulders slumped down and he rubbed the back of his neck with his right hand. Seeing her like this was killing him. Especially since everything was his fault. He was the reason why that great and magnificent woman was resumed to a scared and insecure girl.

"Okay, let's go then." Eddie interrupted them. Not that there was _much_ to interrupt anyway.

In silence, they hurried towards the black van waiting for them at the entrance of the parking lot.

* * *

"So, basically, you got us everything we needed to make an arrest." Oliver finished his speech as they all sat down in a conference room at Starling Investigation. "I've already got men in place to take Eobard Thawne and his acolyte Hunter Zolomon into custody."

Barry let a hand trail down his face, trying to swipe away the weariness. He had untied his bow tie and opened a few buttons from his dress shirt to breath more easily. His hair was probably a huge mess from his hands regularly going through them as a stress-relief.

The data Barry had downloaded from the S.T.A.R. labs computer, a few hours ago, held crucial evidence that the particle accelerator was a threat to the city and that Dr. Wells was well aware of it. They had also found the missing puzzle pieces they had been looking for. It hadn't been hard to decode the other files, enlightening the information Starling Investigation had gather until now.

The current Dr. Wells was actually Eobard Thawne, a.k.a Patient X, who had gone through a plastic surgery done by none other than Dr. Jay Garrick. The real Dr. Wells had been killed at the same moment so that Eobard could take his place at S.T.A.R. labs. Soon after, the plastic surgeon had also lost his life, in order to keep the intervention a secret. Eddie and Barry had found both bodies in the warehouse. In all the data, they had found incriminating evidence that a certain Hunter Zolomon was the culprit, doing Eobard's dirty work and getting rid of the real Harrison Wells and Jay Garrick. It hadn't taken Barry long to mention that Wells had called Jay Hunter during their confrontation at S.T.A.R. labs.

After a quick research from Felicity, they had found that, indeed, the scientist working with Caitlin was none other then Hunter Zolomon, a convicted criminal presumed dead after an explosion in Iron Heights. Barry felt nauseated at the thought of that criminal having his hands on Caitlin, sniffing her hair as if she was some prey he couldn't wait to devour. But a small smile crept on his lips as he remembered how the young woman had managed to put him to the ground.

They had also found, at Eddie's upmost relief, that Eobard wasn't in any way related to the blond man. The same last name was absolute coincidence.

A heavy silence floated in the room, every single person around the table trying to process what they had just found and what disaster they had probably averted. What would've happened if that particle accelerator had been activated? Would've Central City crumpled to the ground? What if new diseases had been created? New mutations?

One thing was sure: nobody wanted to find out.

"I need to make a phone call."

Everyone turned around to look at Caitlin who had been silently sitting in one corner of the room. Barry had insisted that she assisted the conference with them. He owed her answers, he owed her the truth and he hadn't had the time to have a one-to-one conversation with her yet.

Oliver had turned down his request as soon as he had uttered the words. He had wanted to put Caitlin in an isolated room and deal with her after taking care of the whole S.T.A.R. labs debacle. Barry had been absolutely furious, telling his boss the he owed it to him to let Caitlin take part of the meeting, that they wouldn't have gotten anything if it weren't for Caitlin. Felicity had sided with Barry on this argument and has convinced her husband to fulfil Barry's demand. Oliver had reluctantly let Caitlin sit with them in the conference room, clearly letting her know he had an eye on her. One wrong move and he would lock her away.

Barry was still mad at his boss for putting more stress on her shoulders than needed. She was in an unknown place, surrounded by strangers speaking about a secret with a huge place in her life. Even Barry was a stranger to her right now. She really didn't the added stress.

Oliver raised an eyebrow, not expecting her to be the one breaking the silence. He was about to refuse her request – as per usual – when someone else surprised them, cutting him off before he could utter a word.

"That won't be necessary, I'm already here."

The whole room's attention gathered on the woman standing in the doorway followed close by two well-built guards. But the woman didn't look like she needed any help to take care of herself. The confidence with which she had interrupted the reunion was impressive.

"Lyla? What are you doing here?" Diggle asked, as surprised as everyone in the room to see his wife at his work place.

"I'm here to get one of my operatives out of your cells." She commented, all business like. But the glint in her eyes was showing her love for her husband. "But also to take Dr. Snow out of this mess."

"What operative?" Diggle frowned.

"And what does Dr. Snow have to do with you?" Oliver added, disliking not being in total control over what was happening in his own agency.

Lyla Michaels smiled at her husband for a short moment before putting her business face back on. "I'm talking about the operative your agent so delicately knocked out during his mission." As she said that, Lyla glared pointedly at Barry.

Every set of eyes in the room jumped from Lyla to Barry and then back to Lyla, trying to understand what was actually happening.

Eddie was the one to interrupt the tense silence. "Wait… You mean the warehouse mission? Those guys belonged to you?" His head whipped towards Diggle. "And you didn't know about that?" He inquired wide-eyed.

Diggle lifted his hands in surrender. "We don't talk business at home. Sorry." He explained in his defence.

Lyla let out a small chuckle before turning back to answer Eddie's question. "Yes, they work for A.R.G.U.S." She nodded and her admission was met with surprised gasp. A.R.G.U.S. was another secret agency founded to protect the city and its surroundings. Lyla had inherited its command after her predecessor's death.

"And they were investigating a case when your guys interrupted them." The woman continued.

"Hum, excuse me," Barry intervened, slightly offended, "they're the ones that opened fire first."

Lyla just rolled her eyes.

"Wait…" It was Felicity's turn to ask a question. It surprised everyone that she hadn't intervened earlier in the conversation, being the chatty person that she was. "What about Dr. Snow? Does she also work for A.R.G.U.S.?"

Barry's eyebrows shot up in surprise and he glanced at Caitlin in bewilderment. The young doctor's eyes fell to the floor, avoiding looking in his direction. She hadn't said a word since her request for a phone call.

"She's not a regular employee, if you need to know." Lyla explained. "A.R.G.U.S. has been working on S.T.A.R. labs for some time now. Like you, we knew something wasn't right there. So I reached out to Dr. Snow when my suspicions about S.T.A.R. labs and Dr. Wells grew considerably. I knew we could trust her and Dr. Snow here agreed to provide us with dubious intel she would encounter. That's how we got the warehouse's location – that you stole from us, by the way." Lyla's stare aimed Barry and then Oliver again. "Getting her all mixed up in everything wasn't my intention, so I would appreciate it if you could let her go."

Things were slowly getting clearer for Barry as he watched Caitlin slightly fumbling with her hands. All this time, she had been consulting for Lyla – acting as a private informant for A.R.G.U.S. Barry felt kind of relieved that she had actually nothing to do with the whole Dr. Wells/Thawne debacle. She was, just like him, looking for information. He was also impressed how he hadn't suspected a single thing. He would've never thought that she was capable of such a thing. Impressed and kind of proud.

Barry turned is attention back to the table. Oliver wasn't the kind of man that appreciated when someone from outside came into his business and expected to do as they said, even if said person was Lyla Michaels. He stood up at the head of the table. "I'm afraid I'm going to need more than that before I can her go."

"Like what?" Lyla inquired as she arched an eyebrow.

The tension floating between Lyla and Oliver was palpable and the others could do nothing but stay silent, each head bouncing from one to the other, as if they were watching a tennis competition, following the ball being thrown across the court.

"Absolute certainty that Dr. Snow isn't involved in any way with Thawne's business." Oliver slowly articulated.

"You have my word." Lyla replied matter-of-factly. "And we can share what we have on the case, if you're missing something, like the involvement of the Allen family."

Barry had been staring at his hands lying on the table in front him, gradually tuning out of the conversation. But his interest was spiked again by Lyla's word. His eyes flew up to her, and in the corner of his vision, he saw Caitlin's head curiously turn in his direction. "What do you mean?" He asked tensely. "Did you guys open the 'Allen' file I found?" He asked Felicity before Lyla could answer.

The young IT specialist just shook her head. They hadn't gotten that far yet.

A sympathetic look drew itself on Lyla's face as she made her way to stand next to Barry. "I'm afraid you won't like the news I have for you Mr. Allen." Her voice was way softer than before and Barry could see the woman behind the armour, the wife, the mother that she was. But it did the opposite of calming him. He clenched his jaw, his body tensing up as if he was expecting to receive a punch.

It was a figurative punch, but it didn't hurt any less.

"Your parents didn't die from a burglary gone wrong, Mr. Allen." Lyla continued, crouching down so that her eyes were at level with his. "They had been working on some new technology, concerning the effects an acceleration of particle could have on the human body. Your father had discovered some great things that would've really helped in the medical department."

Barry felt like he couldn't breath anymore. This was the last thing he had expected to happen today. He had his suspicions about what Lyla was about to say, but he hoped that maybe, if he stopped breathing, she wouldn't say it.

Pointless to say that it didn't work.

"You know how it is in the research world, the jealousy is just too much sometimes." Real pain was now visible in Lyla's eyes as she was about to turn Barry's world upside down. It felt like they were just the both of them in a big empty room, everyone else being silent as a grave, attending the revelation. "I'm sorry Barry, but I'm afraid your parents were murdered by Hunter Zolomon, under the order of Eobard Thawne, to get access to these researches that helped creating the particle accelerator."


	20. Please, Forgive Me

**_A/N: Well I'm glad most of you were surprised about the "little" revelations from last chapter! Everything was pretty much planned since I wrote the first chapter and I'm really happy I managed to piece everything together and that you guys understood everything :)_**

 ** _Anyway, here is the new chapter! Enjoy because this story is coming to an end really soon... And don't forget to share your thoughts ;)_**

 ** _I don't own anything ;)_**

* * *

Nothing.

Blank.

Empty.

That's how Barry felt at the moment. Like everything he had believed in had just been thrown away and burned down into ashes.

 _"_ _I'm sorry Barry, but I'm afraid your parents were murdered by Hunter Zolomon, under the order of Eobard Thawne, to get access to these researches that helped creating the particle accelerator."_

It was still ringing in his ears. Lyla had almost whispered those words but it felt like she had shouted them. The room around them had been so quiet that he was pretty sure everyone had heard them. And Barry could hear the words being repeated on and on in his head.

Over the years, he had almost come to peace with his parents' death. He had always known that something had been funky about it all, that it hadn't been a simple burglary gone wrong. But he had accepted not knowing what had really happened.

He had decided to move on, to take his life into his own hands, to help people, to have a purpose, to make his parents proud, wherever they were. Getting a job at Starling Investigation had been the beginning of his new life, working undercover to stop criminals before they could hurt the world.

He had never expected that working here would lead him to find the real reason behind all of it, why his parents were dead, to find the person that had taken them away from him.

Lyla stood up from her crouching position, squeezed Barry's shoulder affectionately and turned towards Caitlin. "Dr. Snow, if you would like to follow me?"

Caitlin silently nodded and stood up, taking her small purse with her. She was still wearing her red dress but had taken her high heels off. Barry's suit jacket was still draped around her shoulders to keep her warm. The run inside S.T.A.R. labs had taken a toll on her feet and she had freed them as soon as possible. She swiftly bent down to take her shoes in her hand and followed Lyla as she made her way out of the room.

The movement of the two women leaving in the corner of Barry's vision snapped him out of his trance. There was one other thing Barry hadn't expected when he began working as a spy: finding the love of his life. He shot out of his chair and ran after them, joining the two women in the corridor.

"Cait, wait!" He called out, making them stop in their tracks.

Lyla sent an inquiring glance at Caitlin and let the two talk for a moment when the young doctor just nodded to her that she was okay.

Barry felt like some hope was brought to life in his chest as Caitlin let him approach her.

"What do you want Barry?" She asked with a strained voice.

"A lot of things… I want to explain… I want to give you the answers you're looking for… I want to apologise to you… I want to know if there's still hope for me, for us… I want to know if you can forgive me…" He pleaded with a shaky voice, almost running out of air because of how fast he was speaking.

She took a deep breath, her arms crossing around her body as a defence mechanism. "I really can't deal with this right now, it's too much… I'm sorry for what you just found out about your parents, I really am…"

"It's not your fault, Cait." He shook his head, interrupting her.

She gave him a sincere apologetic look. "I just have one question."

"I'll answer any question you have." Barry answered quickly, happy that she wasn't completely shutting him out.

Caitlin closed her eyes as if it was physically painful to look at him, a deep crease forming between her eyebrows and her right hand going up to rub her temple – a sign he knew perfectly. She always did that when a headache was slowly appearing.

"Were you at Jitters on purpose that day or was it fate?" She finally whispered.

He hadn't expected that question – more something in the lines of 'Do you have any real feelings for me?' or 'Were you always recording our meetings?" – but no, Caitlin wanted to go back to the beginning. She was a scientist, yet she was talking about fate.

He didn't have to ask about which day she was talking about – since they had gone more than once to Jitters – he knew perfectly which time she meant. And he hated the fact that he hadn't the answer she was hoping for. He couldn't tell her that it had been fate and that his job had come in the picture after that. He couldn't tell her that their first meeting had been perfectly genuine.

"I… Cait…" Was basically the only thing he managed to answer but it was enough for her. She understood that everything had been planned.

Barry took a step towards her, itching to take her in his arms, but the hand that had been massaging her temple, mere moments ago, fell down between them, making him stop dead in his tracks.

"Barry, I'm sorry, but I need some time to process all of this. I mean I just had a gun pointed to my head for almost half an hour. By one of my colleagues!" She let out a shaky breath. "And it turns out that my boyfriend… the guy I love… is not the person I thought he was." Her voice broke and Barry winced, trying to keep the tears that were threatening from falling down his face.

"I'm still the same guy, Caitlin." He whispered, his hand itching to reach hers.

"Just give me some time, okay?" Her eyes pleaded him to agree. "I'm so lost right now. I can't really deal with this. I got some answers but I still need to clear some things."

"Let me give you these answers and then I'll let you go." He insisted. He couldn't just let her leave now. He had to do everything in his power to keep her with him.

Caitlin shook her head. "No, I don't think that's a good idea. Lyla will provide me all the answers I need." They locked eyes for a short moment and Barry had a hard time finding the love and warmth he was used to see in them. "Give me some time, okay?" She repeated and, for an instant, he was sure to spot a glint of love mixed with compassion in her hazel pearls. She shrugged his suit jacket off her shoulders and handed it back to him.

To him, it felt like the finalisation of their break up. With a twist in his heart Barry accepted his jacket back and nodded, understanding perfectly what she was saying. But it still pained him to know he was the reason she felt so lost and hurt at the moment.

Without another word, she turned around on her bare feet and joined Lyla at the elevator. There, he saw her leaning against the wall to put her heels back on, waiting for the moving cabin to arrive. When it did, both women entered and turned around, facing Barry.

Caitlin's eyes met Barry's eyes furtively before they dropped back down to the floor as the elevator's doors closed in front of them. Barry's shoulders slumped down and soon, every muscle he had felt too weak to carry his body and he fell to the ground, his knees hitting the hard floor, his jacket falling down, his hands flying to his face as tears began streaming down his skin.

He had failed. He had lost. She was gone. His parents were still dead. He felt alone. He was lost.

And he could only blame himself.

* * *

She had asked him for some time. So that's what Barry gave her. In the meantime, Oliver had given him a break from work, considering how successful he had been on the last case. They had managed to make the arrest of Eobard Thawne and Hunter Zolomon, effectively shutting down S.T.A.R. labs. They had been accused of the murder from the actual Dr. Wells, Dr. Garrick and also Barry's parents. The trial would soon begin but everyone was pretty sure they would be convicted.

During his free time, which was practically all the time he got, Barry tried to find a way to gain back Caitlin. But his mind always came up blank. Every idea that came to him sounded pretty lame about ten minutes after it had appeared. He just wished he could at least talk to her, tell her his side of the story, how he hadn't pretended any of his feelings for her.

Diggle had told him that his wife had explained everything to the young doctor and that she had seemed calm at the time. But hearing that did nothing to ease Barry's mind. He knew Caitlin. He knew she would've put her walls back up, protecting her heart from being hurt more. The calm façade she let other people see was nothing compared to the storm that was probably taking place inside her.

He was also afraid that his betrayal would lead her to lose faith in herself.

He sometimes wondered what she was doing at the precise moment he was thinking about her – which was almost all the time. He had heard from Felicity that, as a fallout from the Thawne takedown, every S.T.A.R. labs' employee had been dismissed from their position. After a short phone-call with Cisco, he had found out that Caitlin had been pretty much locked up in her apartment, going out just for the basic necessities.

 _"_ _Listen, Caitlin told me what happened. Even though I think that being a spy and having a double life is pretty freaking cool, keeping her in the dark all this time is way less awesome, Barry. And if I have to choose a side, you know I'll take Caitlin's, right?"_ The young Hispanic man had told him. Barry couldn't really blame him, he was actually really glad that Caitlin had such a good friend by her side.

Barry felt miserable without her. He had told her once that life with her was a beautiful rainbow of colours. It hadn't been an understatement. At the moment, he felt like every single colour had escaped his life and that everything was dark.

She had asked him for some time. So that's what Barry gave her. He just had absolutely no idea what "some time" meant.

One day? One week? Two weeks? One month? 6 months? One year? More?

He wasn't sure if he could handle more than 3 days. But he bit the bullet and gave her what she wanted.

So that's how, two weeks after letting her walk away at Starling Investigation he found himself in front of her apartment. His hand softly knocked against the door for the tenth time in about five minutes. There was still no answer and Barry felt his shoulders sink as all his hopes flew away. He leaned his head against the hard wood of the door and sighed. "Cait, please open up." He croaked, praying that she would hear him.

But the silence on the other side answered instead.

"I know you're there, Cisco told me you were basically always home." His hand ran along the door as if it would help his cause. "Please, can you open the door? I really needed to talk to you." His voice was weak from despair and longing.

"I'm not leaving and you know that." Barry simply stated. "So opening this door can only play in your favour. I just need to talk to you. And if you don't like what I had to say, I'll go and leave you in peace. But please hear me out and let me explain." He pleaded. "Come on, Cait."

He drummed his fingers lightly against the wooden door, trying to find the right words. Maybe she was listening. Maybe he was talking alone. But he still had to say those words. "You have to know that the circumstances of our meeting were planned. I wish I could tell you they weren't, but I'm done lying to you. And I swear I never _ever_ faked any feelings I had… I _have_ for you. I love you. And I mean it with all my heart, Cait. I never pretended any of it. Sure it was all part of a plan at the beginning – though I'm pretty sure I wasn't supposed to _actually_ fall in love with you. But then I actually met you. And how could I not fall in love with you?" He let out a small chuckle, shaking his head in despair. Anyone seeing him would think he was crazy.

"The pull you have on me is so powerful, you have no idea. It was killing me to keep all of this from you. I really _really_ wanted to tell you. And I almost did. But things came up and then I couldn't go through with it. I was afraid to lose you, afraid for your safety. Even in my dreams, telling you the truth meant losing you forever."

He took a deep breath. Now that he had begun talking, he couldn't stop himself anymore. The flow of words was just tumbling down his lips. "Remember that night after our first time? I don't think I've ever been so happy in my life as you fell asleep in my arms, rocking that blue shirt of mine way better than I could ever have, smelling like a perfect association of you and me. It was perfect. You were perfect." He paused, closing his eyes for a moment, reminiscing that instant where everything had been perfect. "But then I fell asleep too, giving me the opportunity to live the worst nightmare I have ever had."

He shook his head, his eyes misting over. "You were in that nightmare, Cait. I had told you the truth and me betraying you led you to kill yourself. With my own gun. That can shake a guy up, right?" He tried to laugh it off, but his heart was way too heavy for that and his kind-of-a-joke fell flat on the floor, joining the little pieces of his broken heart.

He took a deep breath, tears now streaming down his face. "I fell so hard for you, Cait, it's kind of crazy. And when you told me you loved me too, it became too much to carry. I had to tell you." He choked on his words.

"And I'm really sorry you got dragged into all of this. What went down at S.T.A.R. labs was never part of the plan. Hell nothing was part of this _stupid_ plan." He added angrily. "I'm sorry I hurt you, it was never my intention. I swear."

Barry felt empty, like all energy he had before had fled his body. He didn't remember what he was before Caitlin and he had no idea what he would be without her now. He turned around and leaned back against her door, his head hitting the wood with a mute 'thump'. Slowly, he let his body fall along the length of the door until he reached the floor, sitting in her hallway, crying like he had never cried before in his life, except maybe when he had lost his parents.

"I love you Cait." It was a simple statement, but for him it held so much truth that he was convinced that these four words were more important than any speech he could hold. For him, it was all that mattered right now. He was deeply in love with this woman, and loosing her was absolutely crushing him. The worst part was that he couldn't blame her for shutting him out. Everything was his fault and she had every reason to be mad at him. He had betrayed her. And there was no going back from that.

"I'm here to ask you for forgiveness. And if you can't give me that, then it's okay. But please, do not let that nightmare become a reality. If you can't find it in you to ever see me again, then move on. Don't let my mistakes hold down your brightness. I'll never be worth your life – I never deserved you. Promise me, Cait?"

Once again, silence was the only reply he got.

"We're having a commemoration for my parents in two weeks – on Saturday." Barry continued. "And it would mean the world to me if you could come. Of course I'm not expecting you to, considering how things are right now. But I don't really know if I can go through it all without you. But I can't ask you to come – it's not fair from me. I just thought you should know."

And then he stayed silent for a long moment, leaning back against her door, his hands cradling his head, his knees pulled up against his chest. The tears had stopped trailing down his face, but he was still not leaving. After about twenty minutes of silence, he said one last thing. "You are destined for greatness, Caitlin Snow. Don't ever let anybody, not even me, keep you from believing in it."

And he stopped talking.

What he didn't see was Caitlin, sitting on the floor, her back against the other side of her door, her knees pulled up against her chest, her shaky breaths, her red eyes and the tears trailing down her face – listening to every single word he was saying.

Barry Allen stayed all night long sitting against her front door, falling asleep in her corridor some time during the night. He was woken up by one of her neighbours, worried about that young man sleeping on the floor. So Barry left around 9 a.m. the next morning, leaving behind him two things.

The red bowtie she had offered him for the Gala and a photo of the both of them they had taken during one of their lazy nights on her couch, both smiling brightly at the camera, taking the goofiest and cheesiest selfie ever. On the back of the photo, he had written a few words.

 _"_ _You're my rainbow of colours and I love you.  
You hold my heart, it's your choice what you want to do with it.  
Forever yours, Barry."_


	21. That Peace Inside Of You

_**A/N: So here is the last chapter before the epilogue! I had the second part of this chapter all planned in my head ever since I wrote the very first chapter of this story. It's been a while now and I still can't believe how far this story has gotten. And it's all thanks to you guys!  
**_

 _ **Anyway, I hope you enjoy this chapter! Let me know ;)**_

 _ **I don't own anything :)**_

* * *

Barry fidgeted with his tie for the thousandth time in the last ten minutes. He felt nauseated, like he couldn't breath, like the collar of his shirt was closing in on his throat, taking his last breaths away. He wasn't sure if he could do this. Every nerve-ending in his body was telling him to just run away and never look back, to get out of there, to start all over again, with a new identity, with a new story, in a new city, with a new job and everything, leave all the rest behind. But he knew he couldn't do that. I didn't want to run away.

A firm hand settled on his shoulder, bringing him out of his nervous trance.

"Hey, how are you doing buddy?"

Barry turned around and faced Cisco. "Cisco, I didn't know you were coming." He exclaimed surprised to see the young man.

Cisco shrugged and gave him an apologetic smile. "Yeah, well Caitlin told me the commemoration was today, so I thought I'd drop by to show you my support. You look like you need it."

Barry felt his heart swell at the thought of Caitlin talking about him and the commemoration. He hadn't heard from him since he had spent the night in front of her apartment and he had stopped trying to contact her. He had received the message loud and clear: she didn't want to talk to him. But she must not hate him _that_ much if she had hinted to her best friend in what state of mind Barry would be. More than that, it also told him that she had heard his long monologue outside her apartment.

"I really appreciate it, Cisco." Barry thanked him, feeling a bit lighter now. The young engineer nodded, gave him a light tap on the shoulder, before making his way to find a place to sit. Barry soon followed his example and went to sit in the front row, just in front of a big photo of his parents.

The beginning of his parents' commemoration was a bit morose, with a few words from a pastor that Barry didn't quite pay attention to. The ceremony was taking place outside, near their actual graves and Barry closed his eyes, letting the wind stroke his face. He opened his eyes just when they called out to him. He had to get up to make a speech, but he wasn't quite sure if he could do it. On his left, his friends gave him encouraging looks and nods.

Barry took a deep breath and finally made his way to the front, facing the rows of chairs filled with people coming in remembrance of the great couple that his parents had been. He took the piece of paper, where he had written his speech, out of his inner jacket pocket. He blankly stared at the words but was somehow incapable of saying them. So he decided to crumple the piece of paper into his clenched fist.

Barry looked up and cleared his throat. "Well, first of all, I would like to thank you all for coming… I'm sure my parents would really appreciate it…" He managed to say and he received compassionate looks from his audience. "Not sure that they care right now…" He mumbled bitterly. "They were taken away from this earth way too early! They were torn away from me as I was just a kid." He spat out angrily, tears burning his eyes. Who in the world had thought that him making a speech would be a good idea?

He closed his eyes for a moment, taking a deep breath to calm his nerves. He had to be strong even if his life was completely falling apart. "I'm sorry… guess I'm still a bit bitter about everything… but… they were great… so they deserve a great speech… not sure I'm the greatest speaker here… I mean… look at me rambling here… I can't possible make them justice…" Barry shook his head and cleared his throat again. "Maybe one day I'll come to peace with what happened… but I'm not quite there yet… phew, this is way harder than I thought… I… I…"

A slight movement in the corner of his vision caught his attention, immediately stopping his babbling speech. He turned his head to the left, and there, against a tree, was the person he needed the most right now. She was quite far though, so he couldn't decipher the look on her face. But he would recognise her everywhere, in the middle of a crowed or in a desert.

That was Dr. Caitlin Snow.

And somehow, seeing her there, all dressed in black, leaning sideway against a tree, looking at him, was the only push he needed to find the strength to talk in front of all these people, to make a proper speech that would represent the greatness that were his parents. And all he need was her presence by his side.

To his great surprise, a loud rain of applause welcomed his speech and Barry felt kind of overwhelmed by everything, tears finally streaming down his face. And all of a sudden, everyone was gathering around him, giving him a hug, a kiss on the cheek, a tap on his back, a supportive arm squeeze…

It was about 30 minutes later when he finally could breath freely again, people gradually leaving the graveyard to head towards the reception at Joe's house. Barry looked around, searching for that one person that had given him the strength to go through all of this. But he couldn't find her.

Cisco was the one to tell him what he had feared. "I'm sorry dude, but she left."

Barry could only nod and follow the rest of them.

 _At least she had showed up._

* * *

 _[5 months later]_

The Mercury labs' building was huge compared to the S.T.A.R. labs' complex. The security, though, was about as much developed, maybe even more. Barry showed his personal I.D. at the entrance and got a small 'Visitor' pass to pin on his chest as long as he was on the premises.

Diligently, he followed Cisco's directions to that lab he was the most interested in. In the past months, he had spent more and more time with Cisco and considered him now as one of his best friends. Even if the whole Caitlin betrayal was still a sensitive subject between both men, they were still pretty close. Barry also saw the opportunity in that friendship for him to keep track on Caitlin's wellbeing.

That's how he new that after closing up S.T.A.R. labs, Caitlin had been offered a great position at Mercury Labs, at the great pleasure of her parents. Cisco had told him she had had absolutely no problems getting back to work. He had also told him it was her coping mechanism, to dive into her work and shut herself out from the rest of the world. As her best friend, Cisco had tried to get her out of her shell, without much success. And he perfectly knew who could do what he couldn't.

So that's why he helped Barry get back in touch with her, explaining to him where he would find her in Mercury Labs, including her schedule so that he didn't miss her.

Silently, Barry stepped into the room, stopping against the doorframe, observing what was unfolding in front of him. There she was, intensely concentrated on some high tech microscope, wearing her favourite lab coat open, scribbling some notes on her pad from time to time. Her hair was loose, the red shirt she had under her lab coat was bringing out her lips while her dark skirt and high heels were accentuating her magnificent legs.

She looked incredibly good. But what was even more breathtaking was the way she always put her heart and soul into her work, how passionate she was. Barry felt like he hadn't seen her in ages. 6 months was a long time – well 5 if you counted the time he had spotted her at his parents' commemoration – but it felt like way more. And he realised that his feelings for her had in no way lessened in that time.

Caitlin stopped working when she felt a presence on her right. She slowly lifted her head from the microscope before turning to face him. The frown present on her face suddenly relaxed, as she saw him standing there.

"What are you doing here?" She asked very softly, a small smile creeping on her lips.

Barry's heart swelled inside his chest at the sound of her voice. God he had missed her so much. He pushed himself off of her doorframe and took a few steps towards her. "I'm sorry, I should've… called…" He stuttered, his hands moving randomly in front of him, and he mentally cursed himself for being incapable of talking like a decent human being in her presence. "Or something, I just… I wanted to see you."

Her smile widened a bit, with a touch of understanding. "It's been a while."

"Yeah…" Barry slowly nodded. "I saw you at my parents' commemoration. You have no idea how much it meant to me to see you there. You, better than anyone know that I didn't deserve you being there."

She looked at him wide-eyed, slightly shaking her head as if he were crazy. "Of course you did."

"No…" He breathed out with a weak sad smile. Barry looked down at his feet for a moment, searching the right words to tell her, before looking back up to her face. "Cait, what I did to you is pretty much unforgiveable. I lied to you, and I led you on… I was using your position at S.T.A.R. labs to get information for my job…"

"I was doing the same thing, remember?" She cut him off.

Barry snickered, appreciating her attempt of comforting him. "Yeah, but that's not the same thing. You were using your own privilege. You weren't using me."

"But I still never told you about it." Caitlin shrugged.

"You couldn't, you swore secrecy to A.R.G.U.S." Barry stated.

"And so did you with Starling Investigation." She added before he could argue further. "Barry, I know that you blame yourself for all that went down, for me losing my job, for deceiving me… But it isn't your fault. You did everything that you could, with what you had. You had no control about what was happening, you were in over your head."

Barry shook his head for the thousandth time. How could she still be so understanding? Why wasn't she shouting and throwing things at him? "But I still agreed to go through with it. I still lied to you."

"And I knew that. We talked about it, remember?" She softly reminded him. "You told me you weren't honest with me and I still let you stay into my life. So really, I'm to blame if I got hurt, because I let you hurt me."

Barry gaped at her, taking a step forward, taking her arms by the elbows in his hands. "No, Cait, you have nothing to blame yourself for. Absolutely nothing, do you hear me?" He exclaimed a bit louder than before.

"And neither do you." Caitlin retorted weakly, a little shaken by his outburst and ignoring the shiver his touch sent along her spine. "I saw how it was eating you inside. Now that I know what was going on, I understand every single thing that happened."

Barry frowned and let go of her arms. "You understand?"

Caitlin simply nodded in response.

"So why did you leave the cemetery before I could even thank you for coming?" He inquired.

Caitlin swiftly looked away from his intense gaze, slightly nibbling on her lower lip. "I wasn't sure if I could face you yet."

Barry winced at her words, clenching his eyes shut as if he had just received a punch in his guts, all his hopes from her previous words shattering into pieces. Her eyes flew up to his face and she cursed herself for doing that to him.

He shook his head, gathering the rest of his strength before opening his eyes again. "I see, well I'm sorry for disturbing you in your work." His voice was strained. "I'll leave you to it." And he began moving back to the door, shoulders slumped and eyes looking to the ground.

"No, Barry, wait." She stopped him, taking one step towards him, ready to grab his arm if he really tried to leave. Caitlin's breath caught when his pained eyes met hers again. "That's not what I meant."

Barry frowned at her and she took a deep breath before explaining herself. "I came because I wanted to be there for you, I know how hard it must have been. But I still hadn't dealt with everything that had happened; I was still struggling with adjusting to my new life." Caitlin let a hand run through her hair before fidgeting with the hem of her lab coat, nervous about her next words. "And I knew that if I got physically close to you again, I wouldn't be able to stop myself…"

There was a pause and Barry didn't dare moving, afraid that everything would crumble or that he would wake up from a dream. "Stop yourself from what?" He finally asked, a little out of breath.

Her hazel eyes met his green ones and she cleared her throat. "Stop myself from reaching out to you, from touching you, from hugging you, from kissing you, from falling in love with you all over again." She breathed out, a small blush creeping up her cheeks at her confession and suddenly realising how close he was right now.

Time stopped around them. He stopped breathing and her heart stopped beating. And they stopped blinking, not wanting anything to come between them, breaking the eye contact they had at this precise moment. His eyes trapped hers and it was physically impossible for her to wrench them away from his grip. She had missed those green eyes in the past 6 months. She had absolutely no idea how she had managed to survive so long without meeting them. It was like a missing piece of herself had just been put back in its place.

"I thought… Do you… I… Don't you… Don't you hate me?" Barry finally broke the silence with a stuttering voice, not quite believing what she had just said.

"No…" Caitlin breathed out with a light chuckle and a headshake.

"Do you… Do you forgive me?" His voice was barely a whisper, but he knew she had heard him.

Her blush increased tremendously. "I'm pretty sure I forgave you ever since you spent the whole night sitting in front of my apartment door pouring your heart out." She murmured back, reaching inside the pocket of her lab coat and taking a red bow tie out of it. _His red bow tie_. "I knew then that you never faked any feelings towards me."

Without thinking twice about it, Barry took two wide steps towards her and engulfed her in his arms, a yelp of surprise escaping her lips, the bow tie slipping out of her fingers and falling to the ground. But soon, her own arms were grabbing his back, glad to feel him against her again after all this time. She didn't want to let go of him _ever_ again.

Caitlin's face found one of her favourite places again, snuggling in the crook of his neck, dropping her lips there; leaving a small trail of kisses along the column of his throat. She felt his skin tremble as he groaned under her ministrations. Soon, she felt two strong hands cup her face, pulling her away from his neck and finally reuniting their lips after all this time. She pretty quickly parted her lips, letting him all the way in and she felt her knees buckle under her weight. She was pretty sure that, if it weren't for his strong arm going to her waist, she would've collapsed to the ground from dizziness.

"I'm really sorry for everything." He apologised again against her lips when they finally parted.

Caitlin smiled, pecked his lips and whispered: "I know Barry."

"No, but I really mean it. I need you to understand that. I never _ever_ wanted to hurt you." He let his fingers trail along her face, drawing her features as if he wanted to imprint them in his mind. Though he was pretty sure they already were.

She lovingly rubbed her nose against his. "I know." She repeated as softly as before.

"Because I love you so much, I really do. And I missed you. And…"

"Oh would you just shut up for a moment?" Caitlin chuckled before crashing her lips back to his. She never wanted to spend so much time without feeling them ever again. Everything snapped back into place as her right hand buried itself back into his hair while her left one gripped the lapel of his jacket, keeping him close to her. From there, the heat of their kiss pretty much escalated. Barry backed her against her desk, swiftly lifting her up so that she could sit on it as he placed himself right between her parted legs.

Barry suddenly pulled away, breaking their contact – making her whimper in the process – and frowned at her. "How did you know I spent the whole night in front of your door?"

Caitlin rolled her eyes, bringing his face back to hers. How could he think about that when all she could think about were his lips? Preferably against hers. "My neighbour came the evening after, telling me he found some crazy man sleeping in front of my door and that I should be careful." She chuckled before resuming their make out session.

Heavy breaths and deep moans being the only sounds around them.

They parted as breathing became a necessity again and Barry dived immediately to her neck, nibbling her skin there, earning him a few sounds she would've never _ever_ imagined doing in her lab. But she couldn't find it in herself to care about it. All that mattered was the feeling of him in her arms, her hands deep in his messy hair, his lips against her skin.

"I've waited 6 months for this." He mumbled in her neck.

"What took you so long?" She chuckled against his hair.

Barry pulled away to look straight into her hazel eyes. He tried to catch his breath, his face turning serious. "I wanted to come before, believe me. I wanted to come back after that night I spent in your corridor." Barry made a pause to calm himself. "But then I saw you at the cemetery, and you left before I could even talk to you. So I just assumed you didn't want to speak to me and decided to let you the time you asked for. And I thought that, maybe, when you'd be ready, you'd be the one reaching out to me." He looked away for a moment, embarrassed about being weak in front of her, but she immediately cupped his face to bring his eyes back to hers.

"I did need time, so thank you for giving it to me." She let her thumb graze his jaw, making him shiver a little. "But then I also wanted to see if you were true to your words, if you would truly fight for me."

His hands gripped tighter on her waist, bringing her closer to him. "I'd do whatever it takes to be with you, Cait."

"I believe you." Caitlin's eyes flitted to his lips before going back to his green eyes. And in them, she saw everything she needed, she saw his feelings for her, she saw his honesty, she saw the both of them, together. "I am so in love with you." She whispered huskily as her cheeks became redder.

Barry closed his eyes and took a deep breath as if to take the moment in at its fullest. He had probably waited for that moment all of his life. The moment when he would have the love of his life in his arms, telling him how much she loved him, without anything holding them back from living their lives together. They were completely honest with each other, nothing was threatening to come between them and everything felt pretty much perfect.

And Barry Allen felt at peace.

Because he was whole again.

Because Caitlin Snow was in his arms.


	22. Epilogue

_**A/N: So this is it, this is the epilogue for this story. I seriously hadn't planned to write 22 chapter for this! At first, it was supposed to be just a few chapters, but as I wrote and as I read your reviews, more and more ideas kept piling up in my mind and wouldn't leave me alone, and the plot thickened, the chapters got longer, the relationship between Barry and Caitlin got deeper and here we are! And now, posting this last chapter is kind of heartbreaking because I love this story and the small world that I built around it... But I'll get over it ;)  
**_

 _ **So thank you so very much for everything!**_

 _ **Anyway, enough talking! Enjoy and feel free to post one last review on that story ;D**_

 _ **I still don't own anything ;)**_

* * *

 **Epilogue**

 _[4 years later]_

Wind was stroking his face as he ran along the water, his feet carrying him in rhythm with the song playing in his head. He had decided to jog without his Ipod today, taking advantage of the sounds of life around him. And he could always hear music in his head anyway – people would probably call him a dork for that, but he didn't care.

No, he didn't care because he was completely happy with who he was, he wouldn't change anything if he had the opportunity to.

Barry momentarily closed his eyes, taking a deep breath of the fresh air enveloping him. This was one of his favourite parts of his life: jogging on a late Sunday afternoon when the weather was getting softer, when the families enjoyed their last hours of the weekend, when everyone had a free mind and just tasted the beauty of life. Just before attacking the week to come.

A small smile stretched itself on his features as he shook his head. He was getting really soft – well, he had always been like that, really. But now, life seemed so much more beautiful than before. He was at a point he never thought he would reach in life.

He checked his watch and decided to take a break, slowing down his pace until he was walking. After a minute, he stopped at the railing separating him from the water, bringing his breathing back to normal. People around him didn't pay much attention to him as he went to do his routine after-jogging-exercises. He was doing some stretching exercises when a voice from behind him caught his attention.

"Hey there, stranger!"

Barry glanced over his shoulder and chuckled at the sight of a woman he knew all-too-well sitting on a bench a few meters behind him, sunglasses on her nose, one eyebrow raised into a perfect arch and a book in her hands. Barry turned around and went to sit next to her.

"Hey back." He said softly. She handed him a bottle of water and he mumbled a small "thanks" before taking a gulp, enjoying the feeling of the fresh liquid going down his throat.

"So… do you sit next to every girl that calls you out when you run?" Caitlin teased him and Barry could've sworn her eyes were twinkling with mirth behind her sunglasses even if he couldn't see them. He simply knew it.

"Just the pretty and smart ones." Barry shrugged. "Besides, do you call every ruggedly handsome jogger out?"

Caitlin nudged him playfully as a giggle escaped her lips, making his heart miss a beat. After 4 years, he still couldn't believe the effect she had on him. He wouldn't change it for the world.

"I'm waiting for my boyfriend, so you can't stay long." She replied with a smug grin, lifting her sunglasses to her hair to look directly at him and he rolled his eyes at her joke. The easy banter they always had between them was probably one of his favourite things about their relationship.

"Don't you mean fiancé?" He asked after a moment of silence.

Caitlin glanced at the engagement ring on her finger and giggled again while a small blush crept up her cheeks. She still wasn't used to wearing it. Sometimes the ring would catch a ray of sun and she would look at it in surprise, as if she had expected it to be some kind of dream. But then she'll remember that it was real.

Very, _very_ real.

Her hazel-brown eyes found his again and she nodded softly. "Yes, yes I do." She let her left hand travel across his shoulder to the back of his neck, bringing his face close to hers, delicately bringing their lips together for a simple but very soft kiss. She revelled in the feeling each of his kisses still shot through her body, hitting her heart every single time.

A small shiver of happiness shook Barry's body as he felt the engagement ring on her finger graze the nape of his neck.

They pulled away, beaming at each other and Barry took another gulp of water while Caitlin broke their connection, looking around her bag for something. Finally, after putting away her sunglasses, she took out a small USB stick that Barry knew _oh_ so well.

"Here are the files you wanted me to take a look at. I made some notes on them." She stated as she handed him the small device.

Barry nodded as he took the stick and put it in his pants' pocket. "Thanks. My job is so much more simple ever since you began consulting for me."

"Enjoy it while it lasts, buddy." Caitlin sighed, a deep crease suddenly appearing between her eyebrows. "One day I'm going to get caught and things won't be that simple anymore."

Barry caught the worry in her tone and turned to face her. "Hey, nothing bad is going to happen, sweetheart. I've got your back." He said soothingly, trying to meet her gaze with his.

After taking Eobard Thawne down, S.T.A.R. labs had closed its doors and Caitlin had gotten a job at Mercury labs. But she had never felt at home there like she had at S.T.A.R. labs, even considering the circumstances under which she had been working. After she had gotten back together with Barry, she had shared her thoughts about it with him and, after pulling some strings with some contacts he had thanks to his job at Starling Investigation, Barry had managed to get the rights to S.T.A.R. labs. Considering the whole scandal around Thawne, nobody actually wanted to take over the firm. Except Caitlin.

After a few months of paper work and legal matters and lawyers' appointments, Dr. Caitlin Snow had become proud owner of S.T.A.R. labs. With the help of Cisco, it had taken her some time to build everything back up from scratch, to find people that actually wanted to work there, to find finances for everything… But there was no greater challenge for her, and she loved it. And it wasn't a surprise to see that she was doing great. 4 years later and S.T.A.R. labs was running again, stronger than ever and without any secrets.

Well almost.

Caitlin had continued consulting as a private informant, but not for A.R.G.U.S. anymore, for Starling Investigation (though the two organisations had decided to work closer together to avoid any misunderstandings like the crossover during the Thawne case). And to Barry's great pleasure, he was her handler. So while Caitlin did her job as a bioengineer at S.T.A.R. labs, she also did some research and analysis for other labs. And sometimes Starling Investigation needed some information, about these other labs, that she could give them, under the radar.

The young doctor was satisfied with her current situation, but she couldn't help fearing the day when people around her would start noticing that their dirty secrets would be uncovered right after working with her. It didn't take a genius to see the link.

Caitlin gave Barry a faint smile that didn't reach her eyes and that made his heart squeeze. Barry leaned forward and crushed his lips against hers, telling her without words that everything would be okay, as long as they were together. She replied with as much passion as him, maybe even more if that was possible.

When breathing became a necessity again, Barry pulled away, but stayed close enough for their noses to touch. "Besides, I don't see how you could get caught. You look so innocent and you're probably the most discreet person I know. I'm really impressed with how you can get some information sometimes."

She raised her eyebrows playfully. "Well, I have my ways…" She trailed off, a twinkle shining in her eyes.

"Oh, I don't like the sound of that." He leaned in and groaned in her ear. "You're mine."

His husky whisper made a shiver run down her spine. "Yes I am." She whimpered before grabbing the hair at the nape of his neck, pulling his head away from her ear to crash her lips back to his in a passionate kiss. In a silent agreement, her tongue slipped between his lips, searching his. She couldn't help the smile that stretched itself on her face as he let out a deep moan that should probably be forbidden, considering how much that simple sound could turn her on.

After a few bruising kisses, Caitlin pulled away, resting her forehead against his. "We should probably stop right now." She explained as he groaned at the lost of her touch. But she was right, the were in a _very_ public place.

"It's a good thing your brother decided not to join me for my run today, or he would've felt like the third wheel right now." Barry joked and Caitlin rolled her eyes.

She absolutely loved how well Barry and Nathan actually got along. Over the years, they had become close friends and they regularly went on runs and workouts together.

"Yeah, well he's out of town with his wife and my adorable nephew." Caitlin stated with a smile.

"Psshh, excuses! He just can't keep up with me now that he's a dad." Barry teased.

"Don't let him hear you say that." She warned with a big smile.

"Nah, don't worry." He pushed her comment away with a simple hand movement. "Ever since he got that little kid of his, he's become a big softy."

One year ago, Nathan and his long time girlfriend – turned wife – had welcomed a little boy into their world. He had his father wrapped around his little finger. Well his father and his entire family, counting Caitlin and especially Barry. Which was totally endearing and made Caitlin's heart flutter each time she saw them together. She couldn't wait to have her own little Barry Allen running around her house.

"True." Caitlin nodded. "But I still think that if he finds out about your secret life one day, he'll probably kill you for lying to me at the start of our relationship."

Barry's face fell. "Don't remind me." He groaned.

Caitlin chuckled at his behaviour. "You know, you'll have to forgive yourself one day." She spoke more seriously but as softly as possible. "I know I did… And if I had the choice, I wouldn't do things any other way, because it brought us here, together. And now I get to help you out on your job." She bumped lightly into his shoulders before biting her lower lip, attracting his eyes to them. "It's like we're a modern version of Bonnie and Clyde. It's pretty hot."

He shook his head in amusement, but the way his eyes darkened a bit told her he totally agreed with her. "Yeah, except we are the good guys."

Caitlin nodded with a smile, before letting her head fall to his shoulder.

"Cait, I'm all sweaty from my run." He warned.

"I don't care." She mumbled, snuggling her face into the crook of his neck, taking a deep breath and soaking the moment into every fibre of her being.

Barry sighed in contentment, his hand falling down to her thigh. His mind drifted away as he spotted an old couple on a bench further away, the man with an arm around his wife's shoulders, both of them contemplating the water flowing away, enjoying the quiet moment in the sun.

"What's going on in that pretty mind of yours, honey?" Caitlin's soft voice brought him back to reality while one of her hand was playing with the hair at the back of his head.

Barry glanced down at her before nodding towards the old couple. "I want this, Cait." He simply said.

Caitlin frowned, lifting her head off his shoulder to look at him. "What do you mean?"

He slightly turned towards her, his hands bringing her legs above his so that he could bring her closer to him. When he looked up to her hazelnut eyes, he saw that twinkle in them that he loved so much. "I want everything with you, Cait." Her breath caught in her throat but she let him continue. "And I want that, one day, far in the future, we still love each other so much that we'll be able to come out here and just sit in silence together. Just sit in silence, bathing in happiness and love. And our love will still be so strong that we won't be able to keep our hands off each other."

Caitlin let out a small giggle as she raised a teasing eyebrow at him.

Barry rolled his eyes and chuckled. "Aw come on, I didn't mean like two horny teenagers. I mean like that old couple over there. Always having some kind of physical contact to the other. Because they can't live without the other." His voice was serious again.

Caitlin stayed silent for a moment, staring straight into his eyes, glancing twice to the old couple he had been talking about, before bringing her full attention back to her fiancé. Her heart rate was way to high right now, but she couldn't find a reason to care. All that mattered was the man in front of her, telling her that he wanted to spend every minute from the rest of his life with her, that he couldn't imagine living without being with her.

She let out a shaky breath she didn't know she had been holding. "Well, I think that asking me to marry you is the first step towards that, so I'd say we're on the right path." Caitlin finally said very softly, her eyes flying all over his face.

A huge smile stretched Barry's lips, making his eyes crinkle and his sight blurry. Her heart was really close to bursting out of her chest right now. Caitlin still had a hard time believing that this man was hers. Entirely and completely hers.

Her hands went to cradle his face, her fingers running along his jaw, enjoying the slight stubble he had insisted on keeping ever since he had found out how much she liked it. Caitlin brought her face immensely close to his, letting her forehead rest on his, brushing her nose against his. "God, I'm so terribly in love with you." She barely whispered.

The only appropriate reply he could think of giving her was kissing her again and again, letting her know how much she meant to him, trying to convey the deep love he felt for her, telling her that he would be hers forever and that nothing would ever bring them apart.

Barry would've never thought he could be that happy at any moment in his life.

He had the greatest woman in the world as his fiancé, a woman that had forgiven him for basing their whole relationship on a lie. Sometimes he couldn't believe she had agreed to marry him. Some days he expected to wake up and realise that it was a dream. But then he would turn his head a see her sleeping form right next to him, looking more beautiful than ever, and he would know that dreams couldn't feel that perfect.

He also had a job that made him fulfil his need to help people out. On top of that, he had the opportunity to do what he loved with the help of the woman he loved.

He didn't know if things could get any better right now.

Obviously he was wrong.

Because they had their whole life ahead of them, together, filled with surprises and happiness, but also pain and heartaches. Because that what was life: a rainbow of colours, with dark colours and hell ones. But as long as they were together, they would be able to face pretty much everything. And everyday he would wake up, thinking he had never felt happier in his life, just waiting to be proven wrong by the next happier moment.

And in the future, the day would come, where he would sit on that precise bench, with his long time wife, taking a break from the family life waiting for them at home, children and grandchildren all together. He would just sit there with her in his arms, enjoying the life they had and showing the world that it was possible to grow old with the love of your life, even if you screwed things up a few times.

 **Fin.**

* * *

 _ **A/N: Et voilà! Thanks again for everything, you don't know how much your support means to me :)  
**_

 _ **I'm happy to tell you that I'm already working on a new Snowbarry story and I'm excited to show it to you (it shouldn't take too long before I post the first chapter). And for those of you who haven't read my other Snowbarry fanfiction "What If ?", then you can give it a try while waiting (if you feel like it of course) ;)**_

 _ **Lots of love and see you soon! :D**_

 _ **Destiana Xx**_


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